10 Reasons Why Catholic Church And GOP Are Opposed To The Birth Control Mandate

English: Cover of Birth Control Review July 19...

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Recently, the White House revealed the rule from the healthcare law, that requires church-affiliated employers (although not churches themselves) to cover free birth control in their employer-provided health insurance plans.  The Catholic bishops and Republican leadership were outraged, and even today’s compromise that would require the insurers to provide the coverage to employees directly was not enough to put out the fire.  Here are 10 reasons why the Catholic church and GOP leadership are against the birth control requirement.

1)  The Catholic Church institutions already offer a free birth control plan to women.  The plan works as follows: if God does not want you to get pregnant, you won’t get pregnant.  It’s called “Immaculate Contraception”.

2)  In the opinion of the Catholic Church, the world is severely underpopulated. Meaning, underpopulated by Catholics, specifically. All the others will go to hell anyway so they don’t count.

3)  The Republican party does not want the government to infringe on  our freedoms. They want the church to infringe on our freedoms.

4)  Because the contraception will reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies, which will reduce the number of abortions, and the goal of Catholic church is to reduce the number of abortions…  If that does not sound logical, remember that logic is usually not a strong point of religion.

5)  Catholic priests prefer boys, and boys don’t get pregnant.

6)  GOP needed an issue to anger their base and capture the voters attention. Otherwise the voters might actually notice that the economy is improving.

7)  The debate gives the Catholic bishops a rare opportunity to talk about having sex.

8)  Planned Parenthood received so many donations after Susan G. Kommen foundation cut its funding, that it decided to have another fundraiser.

9)  The Catholic church cannot afford to pay for the contraception since it spent too much money settling the lawsuits against the pedophile priests.

10)  Catholics always fight for the right of the unborn, because the unborn children are the only people that are 100% likely to attend the same church that their parents are attending.

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Also blogging at listofx.wordpress.com
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One Response to 10 Reasons Why Catholic Church And GOP Are Opposed To The Birth Control Mandate

  1. Pingback: It’s okay to bash the Catholic Church | Unsettled Christianity

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