According to some recent polls, many Republican voters are not happy with the remaining GOP candidates who are still running for the party nomination, and are still hoping for a perfect candidate. And yet, at the same time, there is a perfect Republican candidate just around the corner. He is Ronald McDonald, the famous clown mascot of the McDonalds restaurant chain. He may not seem like the obvious choice, but here are 9.99 reasons why Ronald McDonald should be the Republican nominee:
1) He is a clown, just like most of the other Republican candidates. But unlike the other candidates, Ronald McDonald is at least honest about it.
2) He shares the first name with a Republican voters’ icon Ronald Reagan, and has the same last name with another Republican voters’ favorite, the McDonalds.
3) Just like with the other candidates, no one truly knows who is the real guy behind the suit and all that make-up.
4) He has decades of business experience with a large multinational corporation, just like Mitt Romney, and he had helped create millions of jobs, just like Rick Perry. Although those were mostly minimum wage jobs, just like Rick Perry’s.
5) Just like the names of Republican Senators and Representatives, Ronald’s full name also comes with the “R” attached at the end: Ronald McDonald®.
6) Ronald McDonald’s position on providing low-cost, high-calorie food which causes obesity is an exact opposite to the Obama’s agenda. Granted, it is really Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity agenda, but still, being against Obama is all that really matters to the Republican voters.
7) Just like Rick Santorum, Ronald McDonald is also fond of wearing sleeveless vests. However, Ronald clearly loves America more than Rick does, because Ronald is wearing his sleeveless vest over the American flag shirt.
8) Also, while the only thing Rick Santorum cares about is family values, Ronald McDonald also cares about the economy, hunger and poverty, and that is why he is offering to Americans the affordable Family Value Meals starting at only $9.99.
9) Ronald McDonald has a better chance of being taken seriously as contender for nomination than Ron Paul.
10) Ronald McDonald is pro-liberty and democracy, and against tyranny and monarchy. After all, his Enemy Number 1 is Burger King.
Well, what do you know… Ronald McDonald IS the best candidate. Go Ronald McDonald/Bettie Crocker 2012!!! Calories we can believe in!