10 Reasons Why Mitt Romney Is Not Releasing His Tax Returns

Mitt Romney in 2007 in Washington, DC at the V...

“Read my lips: no new taxes… er, tax returns!”  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Traditionally, presidential candidates release their tax returns before the election.  Mitt Romney has followed this tradition by releasing his tax returns for 1 (one) year, and a projected return for 2011.  After last week’s discovery by the Boston Globe that Mitt Romney had signed SEC filings as the CEO of the Bain Capital for a few more years after his 1999 retirement, even some conservatives have called on Mitt Romney to release the additional tax returns, yet Romney’s campaign has refused to release additional returns.  Here are 10 reasons why Mitt Romney refuses to release additional tax returns.

1)  According to the official statement from the Romney campaign, Mitt Romney’s dog ate his tax returns as an act of revenge for the car roof ride.

2)  Mitt Romney does not want to confuse the voters because most of his tax returns are in German as required by the Swiss law.

3)  According to the unreleased tax returns, Mitt Romney not only continues to manage Bain Capital, but is also a socialist Muslim born in Kenya.

4)  Because Mitt Romney is paying an effective tax rate of 14%, he thought it would be fair to release just 14% of his latest tax returns.

5)  Mitt Romney had made only $100,000 a year before 2010 and does not want to be ridiculed as “poor” by his billionaire friends.

6)  He does not want to reveal that he was receiving food stamps by claiming himself as unemployed.

7)  Mitt Romney had filed his tax returns years ago, but he had changed his position and no longer agrees with them.

8)  He does not want to disclose $100M in charitable donations to his favorite charity, the Mitt Romney’s Tax Shelter For The Disadvantaged Millions.

9)  He already disclosed the bare minimum he needed, because he plans to do just the bare minimum of work when he becomes president

10)  Mitt Romney had itemized the dog’s rooftop cage as a business relocation expense and claimed his dog as a dependant.

Finally, Mitt Romney does not want to disclose any additional reasons why he does not want to disclose his tax returns.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Also blogging at listofx.wordpress.com
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13 Responses to 10 Reasons Why Mitt Romney Is Not Releasing His Tax Returns

  1. stephenpruis says:

    Sweet! Like fine wine, you are getting better with time!

  2. Sherry says:

    He’s not going to get away from this one. lol…I love it. Damned if ya do, damned if ya don’t. He can’t win.

    • List of X says:

      I am not sure myself why Romney is so adamant on not releasing these tax returns. I don’t really believe there would be anything horrible hidden there, and that not releasing them hurts him more, but I guess Mitt found an issue to finally take a stand on.

  3. RalphB says:

    Really funny. Thanks for the laughs.

  4. When is a managing director not a managing director? When you’re campaigning to lead the country you took jobs from…

  5. angryxer says:

    Hilarious. Seamus is the gift that keeps on giving. I’ve been reading about some loopyholey thing Mittens did to build himself a $100 mil IRA. That plus multiple overseas tax shelters, plus what sounds like some shifty pre-2010 accounting… I have a feeling there’s a lot in those returns that will make him look even more like a rich, out-of-touch, unscrupulous character to the white working-class vote that is supposedly his must-win demographic this election. If he keeps putting this off, he’ll become his own October Surprise!

    • List of X says:

      The whole Mitt Romney campaign is a gift that keeps on giving. Although I hope that the giving stops right after the election.
      Yes, the interesting thing about his shady investments and IRA’s is that they are completely legal. I don’t know what’s in the rest of his tax returns, I’ve made plenty of plausible guesses above, but probably nothing really illegal either. But I agree, even this legal stuff does not look very presidential.

  6. amaya73 says:

    Hilarious! Thanks for visiting my humble blog.

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