Now that all the debates and conventions are officially over, the polls are close, and the
Not to be confused with the November Surprise, which happens when you forget to set your clocks 1 hour back for daylight savings time and show up to work an hour early on Monday. (Photo credit: Vortexmind)
election campaign is now in the home stretch. This means long stretches of truth-stretching political ads, occasionally interrupted by the regular TV programming, all in the effort to try to make 10 remaining undecided voters aware of the elections. However, there is still a possibility that an unpredictable major event, upsetting the balance and tilting an election result one way or the other, takes place shortly before the election. Such an event is normally called an October Surprise in American political lingo. So here is the analysis of 10 potential October Surprises that could still take place before the election.
1) Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana enact Voter ID laws that allow as the only acceptable form of ID a completed voter registration form with checked Republican Party affiliation box. (Good for Romney.)
2) Mitt Romney makes an ultimate flip flop and endorses Barack Obama for President. (Good for Obama.)
3) After voting machines owned by Romney family are installed in Ohio, a legally binding contract is revealed to make all votes submitted on these machines a property of the machine owner. (Good for Romney.)
4) Mitt Romney’s campaign declares that it will pull out of the swing states, because Mitt Romney’s Mormon church does not approve of swinging. (Good for Obama.)
5) The Apocalypse happens a week before the election. (Good for Romney, because early voters who generally favor Democrats would not be able to go to the polls. Also, it could be plausibly blamed on Obama.)
6) Mitt Romney declares that he no longer considers Russia to be the number one geopolitical enemy, and designates Nazi Germany as the new number one foe. (Good for Obama.)
7) Donald Trump finally makes his hyped-up “Big Announcement About Obama”, which reveals that Barack Obama’s middle name is “Hussein”. (Good for Romney.)
8) Paul Ryan can’t follow his exercise routine and puts on 20 pounds. (Good for Obama.)
9) Iran announces it will end its nuclear program, and Mitt Romney rightfully denounces Obama for not being tough enough on Iran’s horses and bayonets program. (Good for Romney.)
10) Paul Ryan or Mitt Romney accidentally make a truthful statement about their tax plan. (Good for Obama, but the least likely of all the above scenarios.)
Please feel free to suggest your own October Surprise.
List of X 
But if the apocalypse occurs then all conservative Christians will be taken up to heaven in the rapture, leaving only the pagan secular humanists around – Obama’s core constituency.
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Yes, accounting for Apocalypse is tricky. Assuming that Obama is really the Anti-Christ, the Apocalypse may not work in his favor.
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Perfect!
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Thank you!
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A fifth debate is scheduled, with a radically different format: instead of policy questions, the presidential candidates are given a series of simple math problems. (Good for Obama).
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That could be a toss up, because I think Romney’s math skills are better than Obama’s, and Mitt will come up with several different answers for each problem, increasing his chances of getting it right. But if we make it into a debate where candidates could only give “Yes” or “No” answers, Obama should have the advantage there.
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I love you, List of X. My first laugh of the day, hopefully not the last…
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Thank you! I think Donald Trump has now provided the mid-day comic relief.
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But if the apocalypse does happen and all the conservative Christians are taken up leaving mostly us secular humanists behind, won’t that make the world a better place?
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It may or may not make the world better, but it would certainly make it more boring.
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great post again … especially loved #2..oh wait, he did that, at the last debate =)
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Thank you! I only listened to last 15 minutes of the last debate, but i’ve heard that Romney agreed with Obama a lot. Not sure why Mitt thinks he could be a better president by doing exactly the same things.
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“…Mitt Romney rightfully denounces Obama for not being tough enough on Iran’s horses and bayonets program.” Ha, well done sir.
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I would not be surprised if Iran actually has a horses and bayonets program. After all, they do have a flying boats program: http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/09/iran-unveils-its-new-spying-flying-boat/
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We had one. Trumps! what a joke that fool is.
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What a non-surprise… Who would have thought that Donald is nothing more than a pompous and self-aggrandizing hairplug holder.
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