10 Ways How Mitt Romney Is Helping Hurricane Sandy’s Victims

Posted on November 2, 2012 by List of X
Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan in Ashland today

Mitt Romney is shown here saving a baby from Paul Ryan (Photo credit: tvnewsbadge)

Early this week, hurricane Sandy brought havoc and devastation to several Northeastern states.  As President, Barack Obama quickly sprang into action along with FEMA coordinating the relief effort.  And although as a candidate Mitt Romney does not have the same resources as his opponent, it does not mean he is staying on the sidelines.  Here are 10 ways how Mitt Romney has helped those affected by the hurricane.

1)  Called for emergency 50% tax cut for the rich.

2)  Mailed out letters to all registered Democrats in Virginia, Pennsylvania and New Hampshire informing them that if they are too busy with hurricane cleanup work, they could go to the polls on November 8 instead of November 6.

3)  Donated 12,000 campaign ads to Red Cross.

4)  Found several lost pets, tied them to the roof of his campaign bus and personally transported them to the nearest shelter.

5)  For sports fans who had lost electricity and Internet due to the storm and are unable to get the latest sport scores, set up a phone hotline so that they could check the latest results of the horse dressage competitions.

6)  Convinced Donald Trump to continue blowing hot air to help dry off the flooded streets of New York.

7)  Refrained from holding any campaign rallies in New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts in order not to interfere with the cleanup work, and scheduled make-up events in Ohio and Florida.

8)  Offered a temporary tax shelter in Cayman Islands to all the money that could not be invested until Wall Street had reopened.

9)  Bought $5,000 worth of food and asked for it to be donated it to his supporters, so that they could donate it back to the campaign, so that campaign could donate it to Red Cross, thus effectively tripling the donation activity of the campaign.

10)  Called for employers to allow women to leave work early this week so that they can get home in time to cook dinner for the tired 1st responders.

Hopefully, you did not get affected by the storm… and if you did, hopefully, some real help is getting to you quickly…

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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18 Responses to 10 Ways How Mitt Romney Is Helping Hurricane Sandy’s Victims

  1. thejumbledmind says:
    November 2, 2012 at 2:04 am

    Awesome…once again!

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  2. speaker7 says:
    November 2, 2012 at 7:57 am

    #4 brought a tear to my eye. Such compassion! Please tell me he was singing “America the Beautiful” while driving the animals to the shelter.

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  3. peerlesscynic says:
    November 2, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Great list. Number 8 is pure genius.

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  4. Sherry says:
    November 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    well done! a great list

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  6. mcnorman says:
    November 3, 2012 at 1:00 am

    Hopefully, you did not get affected by the storm… and if you did, hopefully, some real help is getting to you quickly…

    YES! There is another storm (nor easter) headed in that direction.

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  7. Laura says:
    November 4, 2012 at 1:09 am

    #9 is hilarious. Nothing like that would ever happen in real li– oh, wait.

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  8. Ann says:
    November 9, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    So, you guys think Obama did better? With his cute little photo op with Christie? Now that he is re-elected, he has left New Yorkers to die without food, water and warmth. Gee whiz, thanks all you geniuses. Now we can have 4 more years of increased debt and destruction of moral values. You can thank Obama and his cronies for devaluing the American dollar lower than Greece. May God have mercy on us all.

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    • List of X says:
      November 10, 2012 at 12:59 am

      Honestly, I admit it is not fair to compare the resources of the president, FEMA and states’ first responders, to that of a single candidate, even a rich one. But then Romney went for a fake photo-op and made a huge deal out of it – yes, #9 really did happen pretty much as I’ve described it, even after Red Cross stated that they only need cash donations or blood.
      And when you are talking about the moral values that will be destroyed, are you referring to the moral value of letting people die if they can’t afford health insurance, or the moral value of mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds, or the moral value of unrestricted outsourcing of American jobs? And I definitely should thank Obama and his cronies for devaluing the American dollar, because a lower dollar will increase exports and generate more job creation. Why do you think both Obama and Romney want to make China raise the value of yuan compared to dollar?

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