President George W. Bush, under the “Mission Accomplished” banner during the ceremony of breaking ground for the Presidential Library. (Image source: thepoliticalzealot.com)
This Thursday in Dallas, the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum is scheduled to hold a dedication ceremony, and will open to the public on May 1st. A Presidential Library, or, as President Bush refers to it, “the lie-berry”, is a traditional project of all recent presidents, and its purpose is to preserve the president’s legacy for the future generations. Here are 10 of the highlights of the George W. Bush Presidential Library exhibition that visitors definitely shouldn’t miss.
1) An exhibit “Enemies of the State”, featuring photos of Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and the pretzel on which George W. Bush choked early in his first term.
2) An empty room, set aside to display the weapons of mass destruction built by Saddam Hussein’s regime in Iraq, and which should be found any day now.
3) An exhibit showcasing the George Bush’s gratitude to the voters who elected him president, namely, Supreme Court Justices Kennedy, O’Connor, Renquist, Scalia, and Thomas.
4) At 1020 pages, the longest book in the library is a log of George W. Bush’s presidential vacations.
5) An interactive table of conflicts in the Middle East. The visitors will be able to start their own conflict in a Middle Eastern country of their choice, just like the President did.
6) The official results of 2000 Florida recount, as well as the actual results of 2000 Florida recount.
7) The book “The Art of Puppeteering” by Dick Cheney, and George W. Bush’s coloring books on foreign policy.
8) Exhibit tags, disclosing that approximately 30% of the collection had to be loaned from China.
9) A bottom of the barrel, with multiple scratches made by President’s approval rating.
10) Regular security sweeps of the premises to preserve George W. Bush’s “No Child Left Behind” legacy.
List of X 
Excellent !
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Thank you! Hope this was excellent enough to make you want to visit. 🙂
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And, of course, the dedication of the new lie-berry is towards reduction of IQ levels in the whole world and using shock and awe tactics to eliminate what cannot be dumbed down
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I approve this message! Virtual high 5^
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It’s seems to me that the reduction of IQ levels in the world is mainly the fault of the US. In this context, I can only praise President Bush for opening a library rather than a bar, even if it will be the the place where he will store his collection of baseballs. (It will be, I’m not joking)
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It surely can’t be a choice. It is probably a tradition. It it was, Bill Clinton would have gone around the country opening Oval Rooms.
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Actually, Bush’s library will have replica of the Oval office, so Clinton is not the only president with the fond memories of that room.
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As usual you’re spot ON with this one X..My faves? ALL of them..Oooo don’t get me revved UP and started..But #2. Big exclamation mark! #4. Ok?!?? #5..Nailed IT. Once again you’ve done an outstanding job. You’re so good at this; so keep it coming..
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Thank you! In #5 I’ve mentioned an actual exhibit in the Bush’s library, by the way. That’s the problem with my jokes – some of them are actually true 🙂
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Creative writing..gotta love it! Great deal of the wild /seemingly unreal/shocking doesn’t even have to be made up..I could write a book about some of the things I’ve seen/heard/experienced..Matter of fact that is on to-do list..Soon. In the meantime I’m having a ball reading my new W.P. friends fantastic work
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Oh yeah, some of the most shocking and amazing stuff is real.
But don’t put off that book – WP can suck you in so quickly, you won’t have time to sleep, much less write a book 🙂
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Yep, I”ve already had to drop back from attempting the DP post-a-day challenges..So I could sleep & tend to other obligations..W.P. is highly addictive..My fave reading list here has grown to a point that I need to just say ALL
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It sounds like your blog reading list has grown to a point that you can’t even finish the comment. 🙂 unless “ALL” is an acronym for something.
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LOL..No silly..”all” just meant maybe instead of listing my fave reading blog sites; my list should read ALL of the blogs on W.P. without listing them by name. It just keeps growing longer and longer..I choose the follow option as a way to bookmark them. Thats how many good ones I find when I’m browsing..Honestly? I don’t have enough free time in a week to get to all of them..So I hit my faves first(and the reader alerts are how I know a new post is there)
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Oh, I am sorry for not understanding what you meant. I guess my blog-related sleep deprivation is really taking a toll on my reading comprehension skills. At this point I follow about 120 blogs, and also have serious problems with keeping up.
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No worries nor sorries necessary. I can relate all too well; especially at this very moment. I’m writing this with 1 eye closed and the other eye is a slit..Been a busy, busy , busy but very fun weekend. Pack so much into a weekend & then I find myself hurrying UP at the end of weekends..trying to save a little time to just rest…
WOW@120..you’ve got me beat. But you know what? I’m very glad that even with all of those that you follow; you manage to peek at mine. And now that I know you’re juggling that many/your busy work schedule/plus living I’m even more humbled that you do…I know I’m getting older when at quarter-to-nine after a busy weekend..I’m trying to cram rest of my weekend into those 15 mins to have my fanny in bed by 9 pm tonight. 9 pm! Can you imagine???Backintheday at 9 pm I was just getting started…nevertheless I refuse to get OLD. Ever. Just older…Is it 9 yet?
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I can’t imagine going to bed at 9pm. On some weekdays, I haven’t even left my office by 9pm 🙂 Luckily, I’m a night owl, so I do about half of my blogging/commenting after midnight, and I’m on with that. It’s getting up at 7 part that bothers me 🙂
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Ahhhhh a true night owl. I try to hang on the weekends..Key word there is try , ha! But as long as I’m moving, like dancing, or standing, I’m cool….once I sit though? Bam! I am out like a light..I’m a natural morning person and often awake by 430..without an alarm clock..Just UP and ready to do a million things before I even leave work..but once I sit at the end of the day? I know I am in need of catching up on my rest; when it gets to a point I can dose off between bite fulls of dinner..Ugh! That never used to happen backintheday..
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lol. I really got a chuckle out of this. I really like your style.
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Thank you. We could say anything about GWB, but at least he’s always good for a chuckle.
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Sadly, it will take Dubbya several trips to the Lie-Berry before he finally succeeds on getting in. The key to his entrance will be his reading and comprehending the sign on the door which says “Pull”.
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And once he’s already inside the library, all that treasure trove of knowledge within will help him figure out the “Push” sign on the way out.
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In a thousand years we’re still going to be laughing at this baboon.
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I sincerely hope that Mr. Bush’s presidency will remain the highlight (or, more appropriately, the lowlight) of this millenium.
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Yes, let’s never dance to that song ever again…
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Speaking of which, George Bush’ brother Jeb is thinking of running for president in 2016…
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Yes, i know, and i don’t care if he’s the “smart one.” Never again.
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Too funny. Love the ‘lie-berry’.
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Thank you. I never heard him say the word “library”, but I would expect nothing else from the man who says “nucular”.
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I had to pause a #10 and then… brilliant! Great stuff. No love for Dubya.
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Thank you! Hope I didn’t hold you up here for too long. 🙂
As a comedian, I have undying love for W… I’ve missed him so much.
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It’s true, eh? He was quite the gift to the comedy industry.
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You bet! It was the only industry with a consistent job growth during his presidency.
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This is both very funny and very sad both because everything you write is true.
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Thank you! what you’re describing sounds like an impossible feat, because everything I write is also a joke 🙂
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I would say kind of like some of Colbert’s best stuff.
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Thank you! I may have to start watching him – what if what I write IS some of his stuff? That would be awkward.
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A comedian once said Bush had a new biography out – a pop-up book. I love it when Republicans gripe about Obama being “too smooth” a speaker. Um, you mean he uses complete sentences and understands subject-verb agreement?
This list is excellent. Still snorting over the coloring books. I’m sure the most challenging books in the library would be Dr. Seuss, except he still wouldn’t get the underlying message. WHY does he talk to the trees? WHY wasn’t it okay for the sneetches with stars to have all the power? He might like Hop on Pop, though.
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I’ve never read or watched anything Dr. Seuss-related, so your questions completely stump me. George Bush, on the other hand, will probably at least know what you are talking about. So, congratulations on making me feel inferior to Dubya 🙂
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You haven’t even read Hop on Pop? I weep for you. 😀
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In my defense, I haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey either.
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I think 50 Shades would be Bush Library material better than the Seuss ones, come to think of it. The ones I mentioned had themes of taking care of the environment and equality. 50 Shades is about rich assholes. So, ya know.
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Not just about rich asshole, it’s about rich assholes telling women what they should do. It’s a perfect Republican book.
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So true! I like you, X. I’ll have to see if I can find the bit where someone compared George W. to Yertle the Turtle.
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Thank you, I like you too. All those Dr. Seuss references (and BTW, I had to google Yertle the Turtle to find out it was a Dr. Seuss reference), made me think that you could probably re-write 50 Shades of Grey written by Dr. Seuss, or the other way around…
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OMG, that would be awesome. Reminds me of the Dr. Seuss pick-up lines (I think they were on Letterman). You have to have read Green Eggs and Ham, where a character named Sam I Am asks if you’d eat the stuff here or there or wherever. Okay, so line one: Would you do it on a boat? Would you do it with a goat? Line two: Wham, Bam, Sam I am!
Knowing Dr. Seuss opens you up to more jokes in horribly bad taste. You could make another top ten list.
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No, I meant YOU should write that – if you want to, of course. You know Dr. Seuss, and you’re a 50 Shades expert.
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On it! It’s going to be GREAT.
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Ok, I read Hop on Pop just now, and, shall we say, it’s way beyond my age level… 🙂
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Do you think they’ll put Condi on display so we don’t have to listen to her telling us all how “they” might have stopped the Boston Marathon Bombing?
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I am pretty sure that Condi, just like any other former GWB official, is busy trying to distance herself from Bush.
Never mind Boston Marathon, I’d be much more interested to listen how they might have stopped 9/11.
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Maybe by reading the Aug 6, 2001 memo?
Condi was on one of the morning news shows last week talking about what “signals” Obama et al missed before the Boston bombs. She should know. I’m not sure how my TV survived the interview.
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Maybe this is why I still haven’t connected my TV to cable.
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Wise decision.
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I think they missed the perfect opportunity to have a room completely submerged in water and debris to symbolize the administration’s handling of Hurricane Katrina.
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They may have build the exhibit room, but then FEMA came over and fixed it up.
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Brilliant! There should probably be some shrine to the incompetency Mr. Bush showed during Hurricane Katrina, though. That was one of his darkest times. He also had some rather unstellar times as Governor of Texas. It’s telling that he’s selected his wife’s alma mater, SMU, as his lie-berry site rather than his own alma mater. His own school record was so spotty at best he’s had to adopt a school, as his father did with Texas A&M. Very strange indeed, this adopting of schools.
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Thank you! Bush went to Yale, if I’m not mistaken, and I doubt that Yale was eager to adopt the Presidential lie-berry of arguably the worst president ever. And it’s in a rather liberal Connecticut, too.
Texas, though, is a different matter – after all, your state consistently voted for Bush as governor and then as president, so it’s only fair that it gets his baseball collection and second-hand Bush family clothes that Bush calls “museum”.
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How true. The Bushes adopted Texas schools in their adopted state. We cain’t seem to get rid of them. But as Barbara B said, the country has had enough Bushes. Amen to that.
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Okay, so, I’ve been putting together a post on his lie-berry as well, so please don’t scream “PLAGIARISM!” at me when it goes up. I’m not saying I won’t plagiarize you, because this is better than what I was coming up with, I’m just saying please don’t accuse me of it.
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You have my permission to plagiarize me, because I’d love to read your take on this momentous event. That is, if you were asking for my permission rather than just asking me to stop screaming “PLAGIARISM” as I’m doing now, preemptively.
Or I could just scream “PLAGIARISM” without naming any names, which I think is a very reasonable compromise.
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I just don’t like all the screaming. Maybe calmly say “plagiarism” with a knowing raise of the eyebrow.
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George Bush’s “library” makes as much sense as Ken Ham’s “creation museum”. I can’t wrap my head around either.
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I think it’s only because it’s expected of a former president to build a library. But maybe, just maybe, now that Bush has a library, he’ll finally read some good books.
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If only that pretzel had succeeded….
Great!
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Actually, I’m really glad that pretzel didn’t succeed, otherwise we would have gotten {{{shudder}}} President Cheney.
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Yikes!
You are so right!
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What are you talking about, we did get President Cheney. He just called himself Vice Cheney so as not to confuse his us between his morals, ethics and title.
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I know it seems that Cheney was running everything, but I’m pretty sure that George “the dunce-in-chief” Bush had botched Mr. Cheney’s malicious plans on a number of occasions.
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i don’t know. The imperial march is quite a bit cooler than hail to the chief. (I can only assume that switch would have been made under Cheney.)
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You are probably right. But it could be that Cheney wanted the Star Wars march, Bush wanted “Old McDonald had a farm”, and they eventually settled on “Hail to the Chief” as a compromise solution.
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One that should have made the list- the 911 copies of the childrens book “The Pet Goat”
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You’re right. I think this is the only book for which we have video evidence to prove that Bush actually read it.
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Truer words were never spoken by any letter of the alphabet.
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Thank you, but I think you’re eXaggerating…
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Ha!
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May I ask you for a favor, instead of that beer you promised for buying your book?
Can you see if WordPress reader shows this my post in the topic “Political satire”? (there should only be a handful with this tag in the last few days)
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I don’t see it there. If you do too many tags, sometimes you don’t get them all.
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Thank you! I don’t do too many tags, yet my blog has been missing from topic reader for as long as I remember. Finally, WP told me few days ago that they fixed it – except it looks like they haven’t.
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Oh… that happened to me twice. It was long ago. I did a bunch of posts giving WordPress a hard time.
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Living in Dallas I cannot wait to got the Bushie outhouse and play ‘what if’.
This was, by the way brilliant
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It opens to public May 1st. I’d love to know if any of my predictions were accurate (except for the interactive table, that’s a real thing)
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How about a room for the words he invented, like “strategery” and “nookler”? I hope I’m spelling them correcterally.
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I’m sure there is an exhibit on President Bush’s invaluable contributions to the English language.
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“Lie-berry”
Love it X.
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Thank you!
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Why hasn’t someone flooded Bush’s library?
That would be karma at work…
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Yes, it would be a well-deserved karma. But so far, the only flood this library is seeing is a flood of mockery.
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Hello dear! I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. You probably already have it a billion times over, but you can read more here if you’re interested in participating, yada yada: http://dustandsoul.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/7-facts-15-bloggers/
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Thank you! A couple of blogger did nominate me for awards, but not for this one.
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