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On October 1st, the federal government has finally opened an insurance exchange website HealthCare.gov, where people who did not have health insurance could finally buy affordable health insurance. However, the website rollout has been plagued with technical glitches, and many people who tried to use the HealthCare.gov website have complained that the website takes forever to load and keeps losing the connection. Here are 10 reasons why the HealthCare.gov doesn’t work:
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List of X 
Nice….true, perhaps…
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Thanks. I’m working on fixing the glitches right now.
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Friking brilliant. Cleverly done, good sir!
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Thank you. I am posting an actual list on a topic in a few minutes, so this was just an appe-teaser.
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The list doesn’t load. Clearly, this means we should dismantle the Internet.
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Considering that the Internet was invented by Al Gore, Republicans definitely need to start working on repealing the Internet as another socialist invention.
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But, but, but . . . Al Gore is FAT! And flies in planes, which use fossil fuels, which proves he’s a hypocrite and since all socialists are hypocrites, that must mean Gore is himself is a socialist, I mean a hypocrite, which means . . . ouch.
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Maybe we should just repeal Al Gore…. Wait, we did just that in November 2000, and it gave us 8 years of G.W.Bush.
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List sequestered itself.
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bwahahahahaha
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At least I got myself fixed now.
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Brilliant! thanks for the laugh this morning…
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Thanks! I hope you did not wake your classmates at a lecture 🙂
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I’ve called for the formation of a PAC to raise money to appoint a committee to establish a framework for a commission to study the options for humor in the development of a comment, which may or may not then be tested in a series of focus groups in Iowa and New Hampshire. There is an appropriate response to this excellent post, and you can rest assured, my team is on it.
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Could I refocus your comment committee commission to prioritize the work on the actual list of reasons? Your team has until February 15, 2014 to develop an appropriate response, and we’re working on getting you set up with a $26.5 million budget for this work.
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Yeah, um, we’re gonna need $40 million minimum or the panda goes dark.
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Final offer: $35 million and panda cam goes black&white.
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Absolutely brilliant. As I sit in my hotel listenin to Morning Joe this was a wonderful counterpoint to the idiots.
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Ah, Morning Joe, a.k.a. The Fox News Morning on MSNBC…
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Ahahahaaa!
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This is Obama’s Katrina.
Obama was, is and remains a lazy douchebag. (go ahead assume I’m a racist now – get it over with) This jackass was going to make the seas recede and can’t even get a basic amazon/ebay website to work. He’s an asswipe. The only thing that saves Obama and his moronic minions from the dust heap is that the GOP is worse. Usually much worse….which somehow allows “liberals” (they aren’t liberals, they are progressives- an evil pox on liberalism) to continue the Obama cult against all evidence that he’s anything but a drone killing war criminal corporate stooge.
400 millions dollars and 3 years and they can’t do a basic “ebay” style website. Man, o man, if a GOP turd had been responsible for this the hypocrites on the left would be apoplectic. Like the drone mass murders… if Bush was pulling that shit “liberals” would be in the streets… but since a half black Brentwood NPR whole foods shopping bobble is Prez – the Obama cult marches on. It’s fun watching cnn TRY to make excuses for that shit website. I don’t watch msnbc but I assume those Obama cultists are blaming Bush, Reagan, Spiro Agnew and Joe McCarthy for this failure – which will probably be fixed slowly – but it is is a truly epic….400 million and 3 years…. It’s Obama’s Katrina.
That web site is beyond a bad joke. People not only need to be fired they also need to be caned in public. 400 million and 3 years… UNLESS the entire thing was planned so that single payer will happen… in which case REAL liberals (like me) support this debacle….and the “progressives” can claim Obama was again “leading from behind”, touch their nipples and lick their Obama tattoos and squeal “Let’s go take a jet to the Vineyard and talk about how horrible Global Warming is along the way while we nibble fruit imported from Argentina…”
also this is a funny post.
Good morning!
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There are no excuses for this website. They did have 3 years and spent over $300 million on a website… a website! It’s not a spaceship or Hoover Dam. Someone should get fired, and those private contractors that did most of the work should return at least a large portion of what they’ve been paid (but probably they got ironclad contracts, so no luck with that, probably)
Having said that, this is exactly what happened when Bush administration launched their Medicare Part D website, and about 20 states, both red and blue ones, stepped in to help. I doubt this time any of the states that rejected Medicare expansion and refused to set up their own state exchanges will do anything to actually help their residents get insurance – and by not setting up state exchanges these states led all that traffic to the federal site.(I live in a state which has an exchange, so do you in CA, so when either of use goes to Healthcare.gov, we will be redirected to a state website, and won’t have to actually use the federal site).
“UNLESS the entire thing was planned so that single payer will happen”… I originally had this in my real list, so I had to replace it with something else 🙂 I would take single payer over Obamacare any day, but even this is better that having 20-30 million uninsured, and probably millions more who are afraid to change jobs or open businesses because they have to hold on to their employer insurance.
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You got me, well done!
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Thanks, and I have posted the actual list now, if you’d like to see it.
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You got me. Well done.
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I see the comments are repeating themselves on your site as well… 🙂
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We apologize for inconvenience. Our developers are working on fixing all issues. We will respond to your comment no later than December 44, 20&#.
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Thanks, and I have posted the actual list now, if you’d like to see it.
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You freekin’ kill me!!!
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You probably should get health insurance so that I don’t actually kill you. The link is Healthcare.gov…. Oh right.
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I am covered good…
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Brilliant.
And here I was thinking that the reason the website sucked was that it was trying to mimic my experiences on Care First’s website …
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Maybe they copied the CareFirst website design, and all it’s bugs with it.
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I just posted on this very issue. My point being that they all suck and make everyone who contacts them nuts. (I had Cigna until 3 weeks ago, and several other companies over the years.) The only constant is that they all suck and that you really pay in blood, sweat, tears and swear words for the claims they pay.
And I mentioned you! Twice, in fact!
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Thank you for the mention, twice, in fact 🙂
Yes, it’s my experience that it’s a breeze dealing with insurance companies only when you’re actually healthy and don’t need the coverage. I know it hasn’t been your experience.
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It’s perfectly obvious that just viewing this list could turn a person into a European. Gasp. That’s why the uniquely American “Spirit of Freedom” stopped it from loading.
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The American Spirit of Freedom doesn’t stop my other lists from loading. Sounds like the Spirit of Freedom isn’t working properly either.
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This post is, by the way, brilliant.
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Thank you!
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hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha
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