No, dude. I am RIGHT HERE. Sincerely, X.
Texas Board of Education is about to give its final approval to drop Algebra II requirement from the state’s public school curriculum. A coalition of industry groups named Jobs For Texas heavily lobbied for the class mandate to be dropped, and because the organization has that magic word “Jobs” in the name, there was no possible way that the state’s legislators could have said No to them. Here are 10 reasons why it would be a good idea to drop Algebra II from the school curriculum.
1) Algebra II is not necessary to be able to successfully compete in the global economy. All you really need is willingness to work for $1 an hour.
2) Algebra II is just a giant conspiracy of algebraists and mathematicians who are only in it to get government grants.
3) If Hollywood taught us anything, it’s that a sequel (to Algebra I in this case) is usually just a crappy rehash of the same themes thrown together to make a quick buck. And you know what? This time, even the book is NOT better.
4) The schools will simply replace Algebra II with Alternative Algebra, which will teach the algebraic controversy to students, so that they could learn to think critically and would not be afraid to question whether imaginary numbers really do exist.
5) It becomes exponentially harder to convince people to believe that federal deficit has increased exponentially once they learn what “exponentially” really means.
6) The word “Algebra” originated as Arabic word “al-jabr” (meaning “reunion of broken parts”), so this entire science is clearly a secret radical Muslim plot to corrupt our innocent Christian children!
7) According to the Jobs For Texas spokesman, Algebra II is not the only way for students to learn the problem-solving skills – and Texas is already doing an excellent job in trying to teach Texans real life problem-solving skills by letting many of them experience and fight hardships like surviving on minimum wage or living without health insurance. Do you think algebra could ever do that?
8) Because, like evolution, that Pythagorean thing about square of hypotenuse isn’t an actual fact – it’s just a theorem, and there is no fossil record to prove it.
9) Although approximately three high-school students will be disappointed by lack of Algebra II in their school’s curriculum, learning to deal with disappointment is one of the most valuable lessons that a school can ever impart to its students.
10) You only need to know how to count to ten to write a top 10 list.
List of X 
Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat™.
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Thank you for the reblog, JB!
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This was so funny, as usual, very good post.
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That picture never fails to make me laugh…seriously x is here. It reminds me more of geometry. Funny list.
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This was a geometry picture, good catch. I spent some time trying to find a picture of algebraic equation with “find x”, and kept getting this one. Maybe Texas already removed algebra from Google images.
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I always found this one pretty funny:
http://nativepakistan.com/funny-answer-sheets/expand-the-following-equation/
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I think I remember this from my algebra class.
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I’m pretty sure #4, #5, and #8 are true. It’s all part of the War On Logical Thinking.
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This sounds logical. GET HER!!!!
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Great list. I was a math nerd,so this makes me strangely sad.
I guess the good news is, the girls will have more time to take Home Ec now.
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Yes, and the girls better not learn about the metric system either, because if they use metric system to measure the ingredients, even their apple won’t be 100% American.
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Funny
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Thank you!
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I was a geometry girl, so algebra gave me nightmares. I guess that could be another valid reason for TX cutting it. 😛
Seriously, awesome list. I laughed so hard at #6.
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Thank you, but I doubt that Texas had the hopes and wishes of students in mind, otherwise they’d cut all of math.
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I was going the state the ones I liked best, then I got to the bottom and realised I liked them all. The picture never fails to get a giggle.
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Thank you! You must really like algebra, then. 🙂
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Hate math, algebra etc especially, I just found them funny.
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I just wanted to say that #5 and #8 really cracked me up this morning. Thanks for the laugh.
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Thank you, Rae!
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Love #2 and #6… 🙂
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Thank you!
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It’s true. The sequel is never as good. Why bother?
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Well, stormtrooper friend, you know of at least one movie with two approved sequels. Not the case for algebra, I agree.
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Well, there’s an exception to every rule.
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Sheer genius, X. And hilarius. I was biting my nails in anticipation of a terrorism-related subtext – thank god number 6 came along. But I gotta say: number 1. Yeah. Absolutely yeah.
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I’m not sure why algebra (or my lists) automatically make you think of terrorism, but I’m glad you weren’t disappointed.
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I figured someone somewhere had to think that removing algebra from the classroom MUST have something to do with national security…
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It probably has to. I’m sure that algebra is the subject that’s most likely to make people want to kill someone.
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Ah heck, X. Some of us love our math! I even like calculus, although, as they say, you never do use it after you leave school.
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Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
What?? Why?? Dumbing of America?? SMH ….. no further use for it??
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Thank you for the reblog!
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Texas’s new state motto: The Less You Know. . .
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And you don’t really need to know about the second part of the motto.
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That’s a shame, because I used to kick ass at algebra. I could find x (and y too) like a boss.
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Except sometimes it feels that most bosses couldn’t find either even on that picture.
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I would’ve been one of those three students who were disappointed–I loved algebra. Too bad I don’t remember any of it.
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Maybe algebra was just passing fancy from your high school years, but now you’ve grown out of it.
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I’m trying to use my right brain more now. Let’s hope not to the detriment of my left…
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And I’m trying to use both right and left brains, hopefully not to the detriment of the rest of my body. 🙂
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sadly, most of this isn’t funny, its damned true…linked to my FB wall…my friends will enjoy..
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I agree that it’s sad. It’s like the state is trying to say, education is important, and that’s why you can’t have it.
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I’ll add one more, based on what I know about education in general:
11- Standards in Algebra I had already dropped so significantly that no one could understand anything Algebra II. Eliminating the requirement, it was argued, merely meant keeping kids out of classrooms where they weren’t learning anything anyway.
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In fact, the educational standards have dropped so low, that a number of students can’t even spell “Algebra”.
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But they do know it has a bra, and that’s all that matters.
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Yet another reason why this subject is not appropriate for children under 18.
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I live in Texas, and that amazes me. At least in my home town, they act as if every kid is going to Harvard or something, signing them up for Algebra, Geometry, Trig, whatever horrible thing comes after Trig, 3 years of Spanish, and on and on and on. Oh, and starting in 6th grade you have to know what you want through the rest of high school, so decide on those AP classes right now! It’s insane, especially since many of these kids would do just as well or more likely better going to a trade school or nothing at all than those who go to college. I have degrees and am underemployed and always have been. What jobs are there anymore?
But you really can’t blame the CEOs for only paying their workers 1 dollar an hour. How else would they afford their 1 million dollar salaries? Something has to give!
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I think that’s actually a healthy parental instinct to try to make your kid succeed by whatever means necessary. Of course, it goes against another healthy parental instinct to not make your kid’s life a living hell when he/she just isn’t going to be a star scientist or Metropolitan ballet dancer, no matter how strongly they feel otherwise.
But those hyperparents should be happy to know that Algebra II should remain an optional class, so their 12 year old kids still have something to look forward to.
P.S. I think today a CEO with a 1 million dollar salary would be a laughingstock of the other much better compensated CEO’s.
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Sadly, you’re right. Maybe his buddies could loan him money, or a house, or a helicopter.
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And count it as “helping the poor”.
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Pythagorus would be so disappointed.
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Well, lucky for him he’s already dead.
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I will never understand how you keep coming up with so many good things for these. I like to think I might be a little clever and sort of funny, but it is your pure output that amazes me… like that guy who does the Far Side comics… they just keep coming, but they never seem like they are getting old and stale, like a TV show that ran too long. This might be an actual gift. Like I already knew the term came from an Arabic word, and that they invented the zero, but I bet some people learned something from this post on top of laughing their asses off.
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Thank you, Art, I’m really flattered to be compared with the Far Side guy.
I don’t post that often – and that’s one of the reasons I may give an impression that I’m funny. That’s because I usually have to think about several different topics before I find one where I’m able to write 10 items that I’d be at least ok with.
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I never think about anything… it slows me down
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I will pick up this topic when I return to my primary minion duties shortly.
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pick up a hot topic…
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Plus, Algebra II gets abortions, like, all the time.
Shouldn’t we let Texas fulfill it’s desire to become a lone country? We wouldn’t have to send them any federal aid, although they would probably soon sink to poverty-stricken third world country status and we’d end up propping up a dictator anyway.
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Let’s be fair to Texas – they are one of very few red states that pay more into the federal coffers than take from it. So if they do secede, they might actually do ok for a while without the federal aid.
On the other hand, the way they are going with education, we may end up having to help them with multiplication and long division.
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Is that true? See…I run my mouth without checking the facts first. Same as it ever was.
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It’s a very easy mistake to make. Of those states that voted for Romney, there were just 3 states (TX, UT, NE) that pull their own weight in taxes vs. subsidies, if I’m getting my geography correctly.
http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2012/02/is-your-state-a-net-giver-or-taker-of-federal-taxes/
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I’ve survived all my life without knowing Algebra, so why should some Texan need it? Hahahahahaha
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I think your example may have been that very thing what tipped the scale against algebra.
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Kids today have it to easy.
When I was a boy, to leave the house, we had to walk uphill through algebra I. And we had to trudge through algebra II to get home. Uphill.
Sorry, I was going to go with making room for creationism in the curriculum, but you beat me to it.
Darn you, X!
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You forgot snow, El Guapo. We both walked 10 miles each way uphill through 15 feet of snow and sat in class in on the floor, and had to write with those things that were before tablets….ah, pens! And we started with Algebra IX.
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There should be negative roman numerals.
(I thought the snow was overkill after all the algebra.)
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I think Romans were extremely optimistic and didn’t see the need in negative numbers.
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You are right! “This time, even the book is NOT better.”
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At least movies don’t ask you to do homework 🙂
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Al-gebra was created by Muslims. Why do we freedom-loving ‘Mericans need it?
That said, I hang my head in shame. I am a math-phobe. (I was a science-phobe until I was thrown into the deep end of the gene pool and became a scientific writer).
But Peggy Sue was right:
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You don’t have to love math, but you should let it at least be your friend. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “an enemy of my enemy is my friend”, and, well, Fox News is not really friends with math. 🙂
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What a fabulous list with 2 & 9 being my favorites. Can’t believe it took me so long to find this place! OUTSTANDING!!!!
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Thank you! Well, at least you finally found it, and it’s better late than never. 🙂
And thank you for giving a shout out on your blog!
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My pleasure.
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I am fairly certain it is all true. I am so glad my sons went through the Texas system before all this shite started. They actually received a decent education back then (decent not great). I fought like hell with their school a few times, but won.
This was a great list. I don’t have a favorite, they all make me weep.
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From what I hear, Algebra II will remain but will still be optional. So those Texas parents who care about the actual education their children receive rather than just the grades they get, can still subject their children to torture by logarithms and polynomials. 🙂
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I’ll second that make me weep sentiment..Although honestly? I’d not expect much more from Texas..I’ll stop right there on my Texas sentiment! But kudos to you for fighting to actually get your children educated..As IF Americans need to be dumbed down anymore , here comes a retarded(and I say that lightly) idea out of Texas..Years ago I fought the school system in Kansas also(I won’t even go into the boring racist details; but the outcome is my son , who Kansas teacher called stupid.., is soon to get his Doctorate) Etc, etc, yada yada..
Anyways, my fave here X has got to be #1..2 thumbs UP
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I’m actually torn about this. My knee-jerk reaction is “What the….? They’re giving approval to dumbing-down our kids?” On the other hand, they have been sold a bill-of-goods that a college education is a sure-fire job-door-opener. We have lots of kids graduating from college with useless degrees (education is never wasted, I know), staggering amounts of debt and no jobs. My kids are 24 and 21 and I hear about this all the time in “where are they now?” discussions about their classmates.
There ARE jobs available, however, in the skilled trades. Kids need to learn those skills and, as a practical matter, they probably won’t seek out that training on their own once they’re done with school. College isn’t for everyone.
I loved algebra.
#3 – snort, giggle, giggle.
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I agree, college isn’t for everyone. Neither is algebra. And neither is geography, physics, biology, chemistry, foreign languages – most people forget 95% of what they learn in those classes and never use it. But if we take this as a reason to remove these classes from curriculum, we don’t give the students the opportunity to become acquainted with these subjects and find the ones they find interesting enough to make a career out of it.
A well-rounded education should include algebra, and biology, and physics, and English, and art – and it should include the various workshop classes, too. Because for every 10 people that will hate algebra, one (like you) will like it and will think about a career in math, programming, finance, or insurance, and and maybe two more will just hate it less than the other subjects, and will at least have that option in mind.
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They need to cut useless classes like algebra to focus on teaching kids things they need in the real world, like how to tell the difference between cumulonimbus clouds and cirrus clouds.
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I agree 100%! I’m pretty sure that I learned in school about these types of clouds, but algebra has pushed this extremely useful information out of my brain.
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Pingback: Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 209 | A Frank Angle
Every post you write makes my heart happy. Thank you for hating stupid people as much as I do. Your mockery of them is masterful and should be rewarded with fields of cash.
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Honestly, I don’t really hate stupid people, because without them, what would I write about? I fully agree with your words about cash, although “fields” sounds like too much work, so I’d prefer neat stacks.
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#10 makes sense to me…
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And obviously, it makes the most sense to me 🙂
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Dammit. If only I had lived in Texas as a high school junior in 2014, my father wouldn’t have had to pay the school counselor for that A in Algebra II.
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Wow, you could pay a counselor for an A in the class??? If that’s true, the counselors could be the biggest losers in this because Algebra II must have been a huge moneymaker for them.
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I only found out about it yeeeaaaars later. I was told it was a clerical error and to just go with it. Turns out the counselor and my father may or may not have had something going on the side.
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This post is so funny!:) I was laughing aloud as I read it. Thanks for brightening up my day~
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And thank you for reading!
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Meanwhile, a coalition of industry and trade groups argued that plenty of high-paying jobs are available without a college degree, but that algebra II is so difficult that it was forcing many students to drop out before finishing high school.
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The truth is, a lot of high-paying jobs don’t really require a college degree, except that to get that job, you’d normally have to have 3 degrees and 10 years of experience.
Unless, of course, by “high-paying jobs” they mean those that pay multiple dollars an hour.
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