“Where is my Internet???”
“I can’t find it…”
“Well, Google it!!”
A few days ago, the FBI identified North Korea as the party responsible for hacking and blackmailing Sony Pictures in order to prevent the release of the movie The Interview mocking North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. And this Monday, all of internet in North Korea mysteriously stopped working for 9 hours. The most shocking part of this story is, obviously, the fact that North Korea actually had working internet. Since the United States isn’t taking responsibility for this action, here are 10 other reasons why internet stopped working in North Korea.
1) Upon hearing the news that Sony won’t be releasing the movie about their beloved Dear Leader, all of dozens North Korean internet users scrambled to download the movie off the internet and overwhelmed the North Korean servers.
2) North Korea changed their internet provider to Comcast.
3) The North Korean official responsible for censoring the Internet during those 9 hours had called in sick.
4) Some guy living in South Korea near the North Korean border changed his WiFi password.
5) North Korea had blocked pornography and Facebook, only to realize hours later that this was all what their internet was being used for.
6) Due to the same targeting problem plaguing most of North Korean rocket launches, North Korean hackers accidentally hacked their own country.
7) North Korea is so far behind the rest of the world technologically, that they just stumbled on Y2K bug this week.
8) After using the internet to hack into Western countries, North Korean generals ordered their subordinates to scrub the internet with hot water and soap to wash off any capitalist contamination.
9) Sony Pictures is fighting back by releasing the movie and counter-hacking North Korea. And you know there is hope for all of us, when you see a soulless corporation take on an inhuman dictatorship.
10) And finally, Kim Jong Un has decided to follow the example of another Kim, but unlike her, actually deliver on her promise:
P.S. Uh-oh. I think I’m getting hacked next…
P.P.S. Sony is releasing The Interview! Yay! It is now a patriotic duty of every American to watch and pretend to enjoy this movie!
List of X 
Reblogged this on MrMilitantNegro™.
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Thank you for the re-blog!
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Loved the border SK changing his WiFi password. Ha! These are really good X. The photoshopped picture of “Kim” is hilarious and I laughed out loud. We all kave Kims in our lives that we have to put up with. And you really think the US would mention it if they were invovled? Ha! Honestly I think all is fair, when you’re attacked. you have the right to attack back. Carry on!
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Fortunately, most of the Kims we have in our lives aren’t armed with nuclear weapons and their own personal militaries.
And I think the US is blaming this on “some 15-year-old in a Guy Fawkes mask”, which isn’t just a deflection of blame, but also an implicit “so imagine what WE could do” threat.
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As an aside X, i just Guest Posted over at Cordelia’s Mom http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2014/12/25/the-christmas-kitten-guest-post-by-paul-curran/comment-page-1/#comment-7396 I would be honored if you had a chance to drop by and have a read. Thank You.
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Just did.
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#10 so funny…and disturbing.
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That’s exactly what I was going for.
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Heh heh. One of your best yet 🙂
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Thank you!
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Since members of the politburo are the only people who have internet access, it went mostly unnoticed. It only interfered with Great and Fearless Leader’s morning log-on to HillbillyBarnyard Sexcapades dot come.
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“Only”? “Only”??? This is the highlight of Kim’s day, and someone robbed him of it!!!
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The guy in South Korea with the wifi is perfect! There was also the chance that someone left one of the house extensions off the hook for nine hours. Happy Holidays X!
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I think that since NK has people listening in to every phone call, they’d probably notice if a phone was off the hook for that long.
Thank you and Happy Holidays to you too!
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Every phone call listened to by paid snoops – That’s some cheap labor! Imagine if they applied that work force to something else – you’d be able to get a pair of Jordans for $2.17.
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That sounds about right, and I wouldn’t be too surprised to find that these Jordans were bugged, too.
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This has to be your best effort so far. I’d give it a 10 out of 10!
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Thank you! This is a much better score than what I’m getting from the North Korean judge.
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Believe me, I hesitated to click “like” and double-hesitated to add this comment. Now, I’m probably on that North Korean hit list. But apparently, I have good company on that list.
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays (whichever is appropriate) to you and yours.
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I understand your hesitation. In fact, I hesitated to “like” this post myself.
Thank you and Happy Appropriate Holidays to you, too!
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Excellent list, but I fear a few of them are a little too close to truth.
I would like to do my patriotic duty, but even the most fervent jingoism doesn’t give me the slightest desire to see the movie. I shall do my bit to tamp down hostile foreign powers by never watching it.
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I’ll probably do my patriotic duty on Netflix, assuming that Netflix is brave enough to carry it. I very rarely feel the urge to pay money to watch a movie just a few months before it’s free on Netflix.
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a very good list…and half of them could actually be true!
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You should post a warning before you put up a picture like that. I had to wash my eyes out with acid to remove the image.
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My apologies. But at least it’s a good thing that I had censored the photo somewhat, because acid might not have helped then.
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Yes, I’ll be revisiting that image in my nightmares tonight….
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I think more accurate way to describe it is that this image will be revisiting you.
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I’ve heard it’s not a good movie, so I may wait on other reviews. Love many of these … plus #11 … Al Gore pulled the plug.
Happy Holidays to you and thanks for the goodness you share with readers through humor!
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I heard that it’s really not that bad a movie if you watch it without any expectations.
And yes, Al Gore is definitely a suspect.
Thank you and Happy Holidays to you too.
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I think you could have just done the porn one and called it a day… HA!
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Hey, you can get porn anywhere on internet nowaday. But where else could you get porn mixed with North Korea and satire?
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You are filling an important gap in world culture…
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My soul feels good that the soul-less corporation took on the inhuman dictatorship. I do wish it would wrap presents for me as well!
Merry Christmas, seasons Greetings AND Happy Holidays to you!
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I’m sure it would gladly wrap the Christmas presents for you for a small fee.
Thank you and happy seasonal Christmas to you too!
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A VERY Merry Christmas to you X! Keep me laughing.
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Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too!
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Nailed it!
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Thanks!
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Ha ha! The past invariably catches up, like Y2K did with North Korea. Or would this classify as their future?
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Actually, in North Korea they apparently use Juche calendar, according to which they are now in year 103 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Korean_calendar) So even a Y1K bug is a distant future for North Korea.
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My eyes are bleeding, why did you do that? Laughing down the inside of my leg! Perfect. I agree with Frank though, 11 – it was Al
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I’m apologize, but I just couldn’t pass up a chance to make fun of both Kim Kardashian and Kim Jong Un in the same picture.
And yes, good thinking about Al – a conspiracy involving the Internet, and I didn’t even think of Al Gore? Shame on me!
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haha! I loved your last line “pretend to enjoy this movie”. I’m going to exercise my freedom to never see it. I’ve won! I’ve beat the hackers!
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There is a clear dilemma with this movie: if you don’t watch the movie, terrorists win. If you pay to watch this movie, Sony wins. So i’ll have to watch it for free on Netflix to make sure they both lose.
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