Right now, a major snowstorm is pounding Northeast of the United States, with up to 36 inches of snow expected in less than two days. (For those readers who live in the countries with metric system, this is just short of a meter, and for those readers who live in Canada, this is just short of average.) Since this blizzard is expected to be one of the biggest snowstorms of the last few decades, proper preparation is crucial. Here are 10 tips on how to survive this snowstorm.
1) Stockpile salt, shovels, snacks, stews, sweaters, socks, sleeping bags, snowshoes, skis, and any other stuff starting with the letter “S”.
2) For your safety, stay off the roads. If you have had any experience driving alongside New York or Boston drivers, you know that this advice is relevant in any weather.
3) Entertain yourself by using your smartphone and Internet to post status updates and rants on how science is wrong about the global warming and how it has never been even the least bit useful for anything.
4) Invest in a snow-blower. During the snowstorm, the price of the snow-blowers skyrockets and if you cash in at the right time, you could earn a tidy return on your money.
5) Stay warm. The best way to stay warm is to be active, and shoveling snow out of your driveway, then jumping out of the way as a passing snowplow pushes the snow right back into your driveway, then shoveling the snow back into the street, and so on, and so on, is a perfect way to stay warm because it will easily keep you active for 30-40 hours or more.
6) Make sure to stockpile plenty of extra ice for the refrigerator, because if your house loses power, there’ll be no place to get more ice in the middle of a blizzard.
7) Keep your phone, tablet, and laptop turned off to save the battery for emergencies, and also because no one needs to see your Tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagram photos of snow. And yes, I am aware that no two snowflakes are alike.
8) Buy plenty of food for your pet. Trust me, you will not regret this when you run out of food before your pet does.
9) Since it’s now too late to do anything for this snowstorm, make a mental note to properly prepare for the next one.
10) Suddenly recall this mental note several hours after the start of the next snowstorm.
What about you? Do you have any suggestions or Instagram pictures of pretty snowflakes?