Today is Valentine’s day, the official day of love, and almost everyone sends or receives a Valentine’s day card. And by everyone, I do mean everyone – because no one is immune to love. So I thought it would be great idea to show you the Valentine’s cards from the people and organizations that you wouldn’t normally expect to send Valentine’s Day cards. Here are 10 of these cards.
All cards created with the help of punchbowl.com.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you!
Hey! I got one like that from Anthem!
Great cards, X. Poor Boston.
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I’m sorry to hear that. And I’m getting another card from Snow right now.
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I’m sorry to heat THAT!
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I don’t mind that so much since I’m heading out to ski right now. Yep, I am one of THOSE d-bags who are skiing on the streets during a snowstorm. 🙂
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You might as well. You can’t drive on them until June!
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Perfect. All.
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Thank you, and happy Valentine’s day to you!
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Priceless cards, so much so that I feel the love. Great post, as always.
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If there is ever a non-personally-important day to feel the love, it’s today.
And thank you.
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Valentine # 11?
From: Brian Williams
To: NBC News
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Speaking of memories, I am pretty sure that NBC is trying hard to forget that Brian Williams ever worked there.
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I agree with all of them but I would like to add in on the Kim Kardashian one, …Kanye West….because Kanye Loves kanye…and Kim loves Kim, …which makes them perfect for each other! …
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Kanye must love Beyonce at least as much as Kim, because he keeps crashing music awards shows demanding that Beyonce should’ve won.
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Saw a great one today, from Jesus
Love me
Or BURN!
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Considering all the snow and upcoming -15C to -20C temperatures, both options sound pretty good at the moment. 🙂
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Hilarious X! You have outdone yourself. Very innovative use of V.D. card program
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Hmmm, V.D. card program sounds like something created to keep track of syphilis and the like. 🙂
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Brilliant! Loved this. As someone who doesn’t give Valentine’s Day cards, it made me smile. Kind of a thumbing of the nose to the Hallmark holiday.
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Yeah, I’m also in the “what’s wrong with any other day?” camp. You get cheaper flowers, restaurants that aren’t standing room only, and most of the year, warm enough to do fun stuff outside.
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an excellent list.
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Thank you!
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Ha ha! Satisfyingly clever! Next year you’ll have to do the candy messages.
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Thank you! Considering the day, it was my intention to keep the readers satisfied. :)))
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HA!
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If I ran a greeting card company, I’d hire you to write copy.
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I would too. Maybe we should start one.
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And become mega-famously rich? I don’t know. Could we handle that?
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I can help. I know a few guaranteed get-poor-quick schemes.
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Oh yeah
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I am very interested, as long as you’re not paying workers in candy hearts. (Isn’t that how greeting card companies do business? )
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I would never do that. How tacky, in a sticky way. I always pay in cold, hard, Monopoly money.
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As long as it’s cold and hard, I’m fine. I don’t like my money all warm and mushy.
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Happy Valentines Day X. I hope your day is absolutely beautiful!!!!
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Thank you, it was, with all this pretty snow we get up here.
I hope yours is great, too!
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I love the measles and Boston snow. Very clever stuff.
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Thank you! And the one about snow is 100% true, too.
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I live in Northern Alberta. In Canada! And we’re all like “those poor fuckers in Boston. I’m glad I don’t live there.”
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I know your weather is much colder than ours, but it’s very possible we actually get more snow than you, because we get your cold Canadian air mixed up with all the moisture from the ocean.
But even here, we usually think “boy we’re glad we don’t live in Buffalo.” Not these last few weeks, though 🙂
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Oh you get a shit ton of more snow than we do. Our winter this year has been really warm. Like +2 to +10 Celsius. I’ve had my winter coat on twice so far.
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Actually, I just googled that, and Alberta gets about 51 inches on average, and Boston gets 44. But I think this winter we’re at 80 already.
Wait, just looked out the window, more like 85 now. 🙂
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Yeah. Way more than us this year.
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I can’t pick a favorite!!
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You don’t have to, I can send you all of them.
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I won’t pick a favorite, these are perfection.
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Thank you! I can pick a favorite for you, if you’d like 🙂
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There are no words… that’s how brilliant this post is, X.
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Thank you, and wishing you a happier remaining Valentine’s day!
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So funny! Kim also loves her ass..
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At least Kim’s got the real thing. We just get to see the Photoshopped versions of it.
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Ha! She can have it
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The Kim K one make me laugh 🙂
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Thank you. She makes all of us laugh 🙂
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The Kim K card is proof that she’s into asses. That and her choice of hubbies.
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At least the card was a joke. Now, the choice of the husband… If that was a joke like the previous husband, I still don’t get it.
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Hilarious!
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Thank you!
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I heart these.
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I can draw roses next to your comment and make it into card #11.
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I thought these were funny until I realized how much. I have in common with Kim Kardashian
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Deep inside, we’re all Kim Kardashian. Your Kim is just closer to the surface. 🙂
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But not in back… Ha
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From the back, I may even look more like Kim than you do. 🙂
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oh my
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Those are absolutely the best cards ever. WHY are you not working for Hallmark by now? Speaking of loving gestures of romance, I have a post tomorrow about the movie that premiered, naturally, on Valentine’s Day – 50 Shades of Smut staring Kim Kardashian who might actually have a role in it as random naked person. I wonder how many of the Religious Right were there . . .
P.S. I was not.
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I was hoping you had something to say about that movie. You already had so many posts about the books, omitting the movie just wouldn’t seem right.
I think it’s a good thing that I don’t work at Hallmark, otherwise this post would cost you 40 bucks or so, although that would include some more or less mismatched envelopes.
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Love these! My sister and I make up greeting cards all of the time, based on our lives. My favorite so far, which my son actually said to my husband: “Happy 40th birthday, dad. You are still a badass…except for the moobs.” You should see our illustration for that one.
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Thank you! I wasn’t sure what moobs were, so I had googled them just in case. I think I’ve had enough of moobs images for now. 🙂
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Darn! Valentines Day is over and I didn’t get any of these cards, just one from my insurance agent. That doesn’t make me pathetic, does it? Does it?
(ps – brilliant work, as usual!)
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No, it doesn’t make you pathetic. I think it kind of makes the insurance agent pathetic if they have to resort to sending you Valentine’s day cards instead of giving you a discount.
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No one is immune to sex. Love seems to be a different story.
Dude, these are fantastic. You seem to have an inexhaustible supply of clever bon mots.
@Elyse: Poor Boston! They just cheated their way to a Super Bowl! Screw Boston. Meteorological, cosmic payback.
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I’m not a Pats fan, but I’m pretty sure that Pats fans probably think that some extra snow is a small price to pay for a Superbowl win. But it’s interesting that all these snowstorms started just after the Deflategate game, with 1.5 times the annual average snowfall in just three weeks, so it does look like cosmic payback.
Of course, the most effective form of payback would have been Pats losing the Superbowl either in a blowout, or in an embarrassingly accidental last-second upset (like the way they won), so this cosmic payback thing just hasn’t been thought through really well.
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Oh, my freaking gawd, best post EVER.
I was having a crappy day (week) but this was better than four beers. I tried the four beers yesterday. This was better.
“You are so warm and soft, I love being near you. I feel so close to you. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I’ll stick by you forever.
–Cellulite
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Aw, thank you.
But I think your comparison of this post to four beers is not fair. After all, this post has 10 cards, so shouldn’t you be comparing it to ten beers?
If you’re not happy with all this unwelcome attention from cellulite, have you tried getting a restraining order against it?
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Ha, ha–actually, I don’t drink anymore. I just use alcohol as a comedic frame of reference because so many understand it. It still works…for laughs.
And cellulite has always treated me well. Climbing mountains and living in cold climes, my ass was always that last to feel the icy effects. My hands, on the other hand….
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That’s some good stuff!
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Hee hee… it’s funny because it hurts.
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