In response to Trump’s usual demand to pay for the wall, President Nieto suggested Trump should talk to his hand.
Image source: CNN
Donald Trump has made immigration the centerpiece of his election campaign by promising to deport all of 11 million of illegal immigrants, build a border wall, and to ban all visitors from Muslim countries until he figures out what’s going on. (Despite Donald Trump’s superior intellect, he apparently hasn’t yet figured that out). Although it worked in the Republican primary, his hard-line position on immigration is not as popular with the general election voters. So Donald Trump has been trying to moderate his position on immigration to appeal to independents – he even met with Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto, or as Donald Trump refers to him, “the ruler of future illegals”. Here are 10 ways how Donald Trump is softening his stance on illegal immigrants.
1) Donald Trump will not longer insist that Mexico writes a check to pay for building the wall on the border. Instead, Donald Trump will make a tremendous deal with Mexico to let them to make monthly payments.
2) If Mexico is still unable to pay for the wall, Donald Trump knows another way to still build the wall for free – just hire a contractor to build the wall and not pay them for their work after they’re done.
3) Certain illegal aliens, assuming they’re hot, young, and female, will have a path to citizenship by marrying Donald Trump through a new DT-4 visa. This visa program will be available up to a 1,000 of hot young female illegal immigrants per year.
4) Donald Trump is willing to expand the guest worker program. The new guest worker visa would work the same way as DT-4 visa, except that hot young female guest workers would be sent back when their visa expires, or when the current DT-4 visa holder finds out about them.
5) To avoid unfairly singling out illegal immigrants, Donald Trump also will deport the same number of legal immigrants and native-born Americans who had voted for Ted Cruz or Hillary Clinton.
6) Donald Trump would be willing to accept up to 25,000 Syrian refugees, or however many could fit into the Guantanamo Bay facility.
7) Since deporting 11 million illegal immigrants is expected to cost tens of billions of dollars, Donald Trump will hire illegal immigrant labor to deport illegal immigrants to cut costs.
8) He will not arrest 2 million illegal immigrants within the first hour of his presidency as he had originally promised. Those 2 million illegal immigrants will be given a 10 minute head start.
9) Donald Trump believes it would be inhumane to separate immigrant families where the children have legal status but the parents don’t, and will be happy to deport the whole family.
10) Visa program for immigrants with special talents will end, because there is no possible way there could be anyone more talented than Donald Trump.
List of X 
Bravo X! You’re back in fine style. Love hiring illegal immigrants to deport illegal immigrants and hiring contractors to build the wall and then stiffing hem.
LikeLike
As an aside X, I did a guest post over at Mark Bialczak’s https://markbialczak.com/2016/09/04/im-sorry/ and I would be honored if you had the time to drop by for a read. Thank You.
LikeLike
I’ll be sure to check it out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! But don’t give me too much credit – Donald Trump has been stiffing contractors for years.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Another homerun … and cheers to your timely nature. #7 definitely my fav. Thanks for the chuckle in the midst of a discouraging election year.
LikeLike
Apparently he has also permitted all aliens, the other-planet types, to come and make their home in America, as soon as Voyager and other spaceships can find them. We are judging him unfairly on the basis of just a million Mexicans.
LikeLike
Not all other-planet aliens – he doesn’t want any extraterrestrial Mexicans or Muslims either.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Actually, a goodly proportion of the Republican party isn’t so happy about how this turned out. Hope they learned a valuable lesson.
I like how you always refer to him as ‘Donald Trump,’ using his full name. It’s almost as condescending at Martin Sheen’s emasculating ‘Don Trump.’
Using illegal immigrants to solve our illegal immigrant problem is so dastardly that it could land you a position in the Donald Trump administration. I hope your papers are all in order.
So this is our quarterly report from you? What are we supposed to do now? Sit and wait until 2017 until we hear from you again? I protest.
LikeLike
Sorry, I’ve been slacking off really hard these last few months and getting my documents in order, but I guarantee you’ll see the next post much sooner that 2017. And it will be the biggest and best post ever… crap, this Trump-speak is contagious. And yes, that “Donald Trump” thing is intentional.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
#TheSoftening …. he knows not a thing!!
LikeLike
During each campaign rally he will ask “Where are my Mexicans?” and give them a thumbs up.
LikeLike
You mean kind of like this: http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/05/politics/donald-trump-taco-bowl-cinco-de-mayo/ ?
LikeLike
Exactly. Maybe he could bring a taco to his events for good measure.
LikeLike
Well, he wouldn’t want to overdo it, otherwise his base will suspect that Trump actually does love Hispanics.
LikeLike
Actually, Amaya, his practice is to only let in one of each kind at a time. My Mexican over there! My black, my Catholic, my Jew. One of each is enough.
LikeLike
Yes, you’re absolutely correct.
LikeLike
Of course, there’s nothing stopping Trump from getting rid of his current Mexican/Catholic/Jew and replacing them with a new (preferably younger and hotter) Mexican/Catholic/Jew.
LikeLike
Great to see you back, X! Donald Trump has also said nobody knows how many illegals there really are. Next he’ll be saying he knows more than Immigration knows about illegal immigrants. And after a few days of being President he’ll say he’s deported them all, and he now knows there are none. I think that’s his secret plan.
LikeLike
I think he’d say it’s something like 50 million illegals while he’s running for president, and only a million once he’s elected.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So. Two more months of this, eh?
LikeLike
That’s the best case scenario.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He might allow any immigrants in so long as they’re young and female..
LikeLike
I don’t think hotness is negotiable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not at all.
LikeLike
I’ve missed your humour and insight, X. I want the Trumpster to make his tremendous deal with Mexico, and perhaps he can turn his attention to us after he’s done looking south. He can totally make a tremendous deal with us, too, I promise that he will get the better part of the bargain. We won’t mind. We’re nice, and polite. We also have hot Canucks, by the way. Just saying.
LikeLike
And you… shut up and write… preferably something with me…
LikeLike
I would I would, but I sneak in my writing in five minute increments here and there around work and little ‘uns, you’d not find my schedule very appealing I think.
LikeLike
I don’t find anyone’s schedule very appealing… not even mine…
LikeLike
This was worth waiting… forever… for… Once again, you combine scathing sarcasm while shining a spotlight into the trash heap of the human condition… or something… awesome…
LikeLike
And you know, we all like to look at trash heaps…
LikeLike
oh yeah
LikeLike
One other ingenious way to tackle the problem: Remove the label, ‘illegal immigrants’ and call them ‘laborers serving at my pleasure’ – problem solved!
LikeLike
This might work. After all, he already changed their labels to “murderers and rapists”, so what’s one more label change?
LikeLike
I’m a little troubled by this softened attitude. If he does allow monthly payments on the wall, I hope he will at least charge an exorbitant interest rate, right?
LikeLike
Oh, absolutely. And if Mexico isn’t happy with it, he could throw in a Trump University education for Mexican president’s kids.
LikeLike
Pingback: 10 Ways How Donald Trump Is Softening His Position On Immigration – a little left of center
I believe he would actually try to do these things but I believe it would get blocked by congress.
LikeLike
Agree. The government still has the people with brains, who have to understand that his ideas are ridiculous at least
LikeLike
Right, but those people with brains also realize that their reelection depends on the support of people who think that Trump is a business and political genius.
LikeLiked by 1 person
businessman – ok. but “political genius”… XD
LikeLike
I would write a long comment, but this article will summarize. https://theanimalprojectblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/01/trump-immigration/
LikeLike
With respect, Mr. Hoogendoorn, I submit that fear of immigrant terrorists very overblown. Other than the wife of the California shooter I can’t at the moment think of any other immigrant who has attacked us. Most immigrants have already been thoroughly vetted and the clamp-down is hurting our friends.
The EU has had immigrant problems, but it is more vulnerable than we due to its open borders and proximity to the middle East. The President is a politician, of necessity, and so must respond to the fears of the populace, but I wish everyone could put this in perspective. Seems to me that the greatest terrorist threat is of the home-grown variety, inspired by our enemies. Building walls isn’t going to stop those, but it will likely increase xenophobia and religious prejudice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True, thanks for the insight!
LikeLike