It turns out that Donald Trump’s election campaign isn’t the only thing prone to spontaneous combustion and self-destruction. Several days ago, Samsung announced worldwide recall of its latest Galaxy Note 7 smartphone following multiple reports of the phones catching fire and exploding, and stopped selling the model altogether. Personally, I think Samsung is handling this all wrong, and they could easily use all this free publicity they’re getting to make smartphones exciting again and to actually sell more Galaxy Notes 7. Here are 10 new marketing slogans Samsung could use for Galaxy Note 7.
1) Galaxy Note 7: Get the biggest bang for your buck!
2) The phone that can end your smartphone addiction in 1 second!
3) Why wait a year to replace your phone with a newer model?
4) Free fire extinguisher with every purchase!
5) Samsung: 92% of our phones don’t explode!
6) Samsung Galaxy Note 7: developed in partnership with Kindle Fire!
7) The only smartphone that won’t ever get stolen!
8) The US military’s weapon of choice against ISIS!
9) Comes with a 20 minute lifetime warranty!
10) Prevents 80% of car accidents by making most drivers put away their phone!
Finally, if Galaxy Note 7 still doesn’t sell, Samsung can use the hype to build up anticipation for Samsung Galaxy Note 8, which will be the first smartphone to be waterproof and fireproof!
List of X 
The perfect gift for your…mother-in-law
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Or from your mother-in-law.
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‘Sent from my iPhone’
Ohhhh. Snap.
I like how you tie in the Trump campaign. Very timely and correct. Did you know that, initially, the recall did not include China? It was a big stink. Like Chinese lives are expendable.
#10 speaks to my inner curmudgeon. If they could get the 7 to intentionally explode when it’s used behind the wheel we’d be solving one of society’s biggest problems.
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Yes, I heard that Samsung did not originally include China, but maybe it was because Chinese mostly buy counterfeit Samsung Galaxy Note 7 smartphones that don’t explode and catch fire.
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*Snap* part 2. You’re viscous.
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Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
…. spontaneous combustion & self-destruction!! Samsung … Ooopps l!
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Thank you you for the spontaneous reblog 🙂
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Most welcome!! Good one, as always.
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The rumor is going around that the Note 7 is going to be the hot gift this Christmas.
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People will use it to light up the Christmas tree.
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As a smoker, I’m happy to know I’ll always have a backup lighter. 😉 Frickin’ hilarious dude. I think #6 is my fave since I own a kindle a fire.
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I still recommend having a lighter, because that phone rarely combusts when you really need it to. Besides, what if you have to light up a second cigarette 10 minutes later?
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Now THIS is why I’ve held off on getting a smart phone. Spontaneous combustion. You just never know.
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Oh, and I thought you were holding off because you wanted to have more free time, fewer neck and upper back problem, and less chance of getting into a car crash.
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Well, that too. Plus they are incredibly annoying.
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They’re incredibly annoying only to people around you. But when the phone is in your hand, you don’t give a crap about that.
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My husband used to work for Samsung. Our house is filled with their stuff. Please don’t tell my insurance company.
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Then I guess you should be aware that airlines are officially banning Samsung Galaxy Note 7 from all flights, and since they apparently can’t tell the difference between different Samsung models (so much for “newer and better models”), they might be banning all Samsung phones from airplanes.
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I did. And I’ve decided not to take my fridge with me on any flights, either.
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Of course not. It’s probably full of liquids in containers bigger than 1 quart.
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I’ve just returned from back-to-back trips to various parts of the country, and based on the chatter at the airlines, you’d think anyone carrying a Samsung was carrying a bazooka! On the other hand, I didn’t hear one announcement stating if you were a terrorist you couldn’t come on board.
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Well, I usually support your dry wit… but making fun of people who have their privates blown off, horribly mangled, or just slightly singed is not good form, old bean!
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I was pretty sure that I was making fun of the phone, not of the damaged privates.
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I know… I am running out of ways to show you how clever you are, and I guess I thought that would be funny. You rock.
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Ah, so it was you who were making fun of people’s mangled privates!
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no, I made fun of mangled sergeants
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Maybe Samsung can take all the phones that have been returned, and sell them this winter as pocket warmers.
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It would only be as a short-term solution: due to its short battery life, it can sustain only one 10 minute fire and then it has to be replaced.
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“Why let money burn a hole in your pocket when Samsung can do it for you!”
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“And at $700 a piece, it will fully neutralize your money’s pocket-burning power!”
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Where’s the extinguisher app?
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It has to be one of those apps you can never find when you really need it.
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Aw, c’mon, I think you are being too hard on Samsung. Their latest phone is simply the ultimate result of 60 years of planned obsolescence by our manufacturing industries. They just shouldn’t have extended their guarantee so far; 1-2 days would have been more effective for repeat sales.
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Another blog worth considering as a sequel: 10 New Uses For a Smartphone!
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How about, “Fire Bad But This Phone Good!”?
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Or “Fire Bad But This Phone Good Until Fire”?
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The wife and I really love this blog and appreciate the creativity and content you provide. If you ever decide to take this blog to the next level by offering a Mobile App version my company Zenlight would love to help for an extremely low price, we appreciate the hard work you have put into this blog and wish you all future success in business and in life.
Thank you for your time, it is the most precious thing we all possess.
-Jacque’
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Awesome thinking! 🙂
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