Did you see what happened last night in Hollywood? The failed Hollywood elites have given each other all those fake gold Oscar statues for all these very overrated mediocre films no one ever watches, and even some black people – who are terrific, by the way, Violet Davis, Mohammed Ali, both bigly better than Frederick Douglass – but they obviously won because of the affirmative action! Yet world’s biggest star, the very yuuugest celebrity, Donald Trump, didn’t get a single Oscar! It’s a total disgrace! No doubt the Oscars were rigged, and Justice Department will be looking into that shortly. Donald Trump should have won at least 10 Oscars! At least these ones:
1. Best Supporting Male: For being so fantastic and dedicated to supporting Vladimir Putin.
2. Best Visual Effects: For presenting all Muslims as jihad-obsessed terrorists hell-bent on beheading every white American.
3. Best Animation: No one before has ever made rural white voters more animated than Donald Trump.
4. Best Short Feature: For Donald Trump’s fingers, tied with Donald Trump’s temper.
5. Best Female Lead: For being such a great leader who attracts so many terrific-looking females.
6. Best Costumes: Nordstrom such a failure, can’t appreciate how great are the costumes made by Ivanka Trump. They are fantastic, the best, and no one makes costumes with less forced child labor than her!
7. Best Foreign Picture: For painting a vividly horrifying picture of Sweden as a failed state overrun by barbaric brown people.
8. Best Editing: For outstanding achievement in taking the news out of context.
9. Best Sound Effects: For being the first ever to successfully use dog whistles, screams of rage, and unintelligible word salad to win the presidency.
10. Best Original Screenplay: For “I know words, I have the best words”.
Finally, any Oscar won by the movie Fences (which is by the way, only one, a total failure) should have been given to Donald Trump, because he will build a big beautiful wall, which is way better than some failing fences.
List of X 
I think the winner for best sound effects is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhHjMhMKpwM
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, boy, I saw the title of this post and thought … oh, boy … oh, boy! Brilliant!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
They’re already planning a sequel, God help us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m more concerned it would be converted into a TV show contractually renewed until 2116.
LikeLike
I take it you’re finished with posting, right? Because because three months is more than just a rest.
LikeLike
I’m technically not finished, it’s just I don’t have anything to post at the moment, and I don’t have a fallback treasure trove of 1990’s diaries as some other bloggers do. 🙂
LikeLike
Well, start a diary now. That way, if you don’t have anything to post in 2037, you’ll have something to fall back on.
LikeLike
Believe me, my life in 2017 is not nearly as eventful as yours was in the 1990’s.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
… and talking about the Oscars: he’s finally spoken!! LOL …
LikeLiked by 1 person
…now if we could only get him to shut up…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!!
LikeLike
And he didn’t win Best Actor?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not even the Best Makeup.
LikeLike
More liberal conspiracy!
LikeLike
Can’t argue with a single one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s good, because Donald Trump doesn’t tolerate people who try to argue with him.
LikeLike
He should win best editor for sure. He just picks and chooses what he wants to say and doesn’t give the right context. Thanks for the post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once again I didn’t see any of the nominees.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No reason to – you saw Trump, and he’s bigly better than all these losers.
LikeLike
One other (perhaps related) award: Best Script Writer: For conveying any and all stories and events in 140-characters, even if he has to use several hundred such snippets!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That alone deserves the Best Editing, Best Short Feature, Best Script, and Best Picture Oscars!
LikeLike
He won them all, but Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty announced the wrong names. Trump is blaming it on an accountant based in a developing country.
LikeLike
Yes, that probably exactly what happened, except the envelopes must have been switched right before the ceremony. Which would mean that it’s the fault of illegal immigrants already here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And the Oscar for slipping sneaky puns into a post with ten bullet points or less goes to…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Donald Trump?
LikeLike
Or did they rad the wrong card???
LikeLike
The reason Donald didn’t get invited to the Oscars is because it was filled with all those actors Obama and the liberals hired to protest Trump’s idiocy. Because no one would do that on their own – it takes great acting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
An eleventh Oscar should go to this list for best satire. Brilliant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s too bad they don’t give Oscars for lists – but I’m sure Donald Trump would deserve it more.
LikeLike
When will Tinsel Town recognize The Donald’s greatness?
LikeLike
The terrible liberal Hollywood recognized Donald Trump in the worst way possible, they put a cheap brass star with Donald Trump’s name, so that California liberals – and the state is a total disaster, by the way – and illegal immigrants from Mexico get to stomp all over it. Sad!
LikeLike
Hahaha 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
What? No award for best farce? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think Trump already receive the presidency as the prize for that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this blog, this is the kind of stuff that kills me haha
LikeLiked by 2 people
Too funny, X! Where have you been?
LikeLike
Hiding from Donald Trump, obviously. 🙂
LikeLike
Good plan!
LikeLike
Would it be OK if I cross-posted this article to WriterBeat.com? I’ll be sure to give you complete credit as t4he author. There is no fee, I’m simply trying to add more content diversity for our community and I liked what you wrote. If “OK” please respond via email.
Autumn
AutumnCote@WriterBeat.com
LikeLike
Reblogged this on The Big School.
LikeLike
X, I love it. Reblogged on The Big School.
LikeLike
donald trump is an idiot but not according to you that is just weird 😦
LikeLike
I once beat Donald Trump at chess by telling him I won.
LikeLike
Best Original Score as well, perhaps? I mean, nobody sounds like him, right? 🙂
LikeLike
The Donald is proud of his scoring abilities. The evidence is in the Access Hollywood tape!
LikeLike