10 Reasons Why George Zimmerman’s Celebrity Boxing Match Was Cancelled

As you can see, George Zimmerman took his training seriously and even bought a suit so he could look good in the fight. (Photo: NY Daily News)

As you can see, George Zimmerman took his training seriously and even bought a suit so that he would look good in the fight. (Photo: NY Daily News)

While many sports fans are paying their attention to Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia, another momentous sports event has been scheduled right here in the United States.  Specifically, George Zimmerman, known for killing Florida teenager Trayvon Martin in 2012 and acquitted in the 2013 trial, had announced that he would participate in a boxing match against another celebrity. As his opponent, the match organizers picked a rapper named DMX (no relation to List of X. DMX also, apparently, once collaborated with a rap group L.O.X. which still is not related to List of X, though I am less sure of that). However, this weekend the match promoter Damon Feldman has announced that the fight has been called off.  Here are 10 reasons why Zimmerman-DMX boxing match had been cancelled.

1)  George Zimmerman was fearful for his life, but the organizers wouldn’t allow him to bring a gun to the ring.

2)  George Zimmerman was hoping for an opponent with a celebrity status and a weight category of Justin Bieber.

3)  The promoter tweeted that he’d rather make people happy than make money, which made both Zimmerman and DMX immediately suspicious that Feldman isn’t a real boxing promoter.

4)  Zimmerman felt that having to fight an opponent who hadn’t killed anyone would be beneath him.

5)  The match was cancelled due to overwhelming opposition among the public: while over 320,000 people liked the Facebook petition to cancel the fight, only 15,000 people asked the organizers to let them fight George Zimmerman.

6)  Zimmerman didn’t want to fight a rapper, because he’s more into country music.

7)  The promoter’s attempt to include the fight into the Sochi Winter Olympics schedule had failed. According to Russian Olympic Committee, they weren’t interested in boxing, because their Olympic program already includes gay-bashing.

8)  Zimmerman just discovered that the exclusive gated community he was promised by his real estate agent was actually a boxing ring.

9)  According to George Zimmerman’s accountant, the fee that was promised to Zimmerman for the boxing match would just about cover Zimmerman’s medical expenses after the match.

10)  Zimmerman didn’t like the fact that at this fight, there would be a lot of witnesses.

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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84 Responses to 10 Reasons Why George Zimmerman’s Celebrity Boxing Match Was Cancelled

  1. Laura says:

    11. Zimmerman was disappointed that, for some reason, the Skittles endorsement deal didn’t go through.


  2. I’m sorry to see this event cancelled. It could have been even better than my favorite celebrity boxing match of all time, Dustin “Screech” Diamond vs. Ron “Horshack” Palillo, a fight that was stopped because Horshack had two black eyes. God, I laughed.


  3. 11. Zimmerman admitted that he had originally signed the contract to appear in the fight in a room with very poor lighting. He mistook DMX’s actual name, Earl Simmons, for that of Samantha Scheibe, who he’s already gone a few rounds with.


  4. Carrie Rubin says:

    Was this event really going to happen? Zimmerman, a celebrity? Such a bad taste in my mouth that leaves…


  5. ebony14 says:

    Darn it i wanted to see Zimmer get beat to a pulp for what he did. SMH


  6. Elyse says:

    Perhaps this cancellation just proves there is a god. George Zimmerman, murderer non-extraordinaire, will not get more publicity. At least not this time.


  7. stephenpruis says:

    L.O.X, you might want to direct that powerful mind of yours to “why the Russians drink so much vodka.” Apparently one reason is to steralize and make palatable the drinking water. Another might be to be able to not think about the surrveilence cameras in the shower and toilet stalls. Another might be it is part of a plan of Putin to convince his fellow countrymen he is not short. (I am sure you can do better.)

    Thought you might appreciate a suggestion for another magnificent list.


    • List of X says:

      To me, “Russians drinking vodka” is something of a law of nature, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to make a full list out of it. However, since you are obviously interested in Russians and vodka (and chemistry), here is a fun fact: Dmitry Mendeleev, the creator of the Periodic Table, is also credited with determining the ideal water/alcohol ratio for vodka.


  8. Jueseppi B. says:

    Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat™ and commented:
    According to Damon Feldman @hollywoodbox11 This boxing match of two dumbasses, is not officially cancelled. He plans to hold a press conference Tuesday at some unannounced locations at some unannounced time, to give his decision. More publicity. Would be poetic justice if no media showed up. I know…not a chance in AmeriKKKa. From the man himself: @hollywoodbox11 posted 39 minutes ago..
    Press conference will be tomorrow at 2 p.m. To address all the facts of the Zimmerman fight


  9. Dr. Rex says:

    Excellent! Have to share!!


  10. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Sorry!! Have to share ….


  11. rossmurray1 says:

    I didn’t know this was happening. Gross.


  12. Damn. I would have liked to see that rapper guy beat the crap out of him.


  13. dentaleggs says:

    Trayvon Martin deserves better.


  14. El Guapo says:

    I thought it was cancelled because DMX saw zimmerman’s artwork and became too ill to fight.


  15. Ned's Blog says:

    I don’t think it helped that boxers generally enter the ring in a hooded robe. That was probably enough to frighten Zimmerman away.


  16. This is a shame because I would have paid to see that… hell, I would pay more to get in the ring with him myself…


  17. Trent Lewin says:

    I was thinking this must be a joke, but I suspect it’s not. Sigh. When did fifteen minutes of fame for shooting an unarmed teenager turn into celebrity boxing matches?

    And….oooooooooo, number 7. I loved that one. So, X. Perchance could you promote a boxing match between myself and Art? I’d even pay to see that one.


  18. Aussa Lorens says:

    So bad. I really hope there isn’t any ounce of actual truth at the bottom of this…


  19. Your list, as always, Brilliant.

    The thought of this murdering, woman abusing, assclown receiving more publicity for his status as a racist NRA poster child for Stand Your Ground laws in Florida…well it makes me utterly ill.


  20. Jackie Saulmon Ramirez says:

    Zimmerman is a low-life, good-for-nothing pig. He probably backed out because he couldn’t box with a gun.


    • List of X says:

      The story sounded to me like the promoters were backing out, rather than Zimmerman himself, I think he’s just desperate for money and/or attention – or, after the verdict, he’s just feeling invincible and untouchable, if his post-trial behavior is any indication.


  21. Daniel Nest says:

    Brilliant! Although the whole event was a publicity stunt from the start and was never going to happen.


    • List of X says:

      Then it’s a good thing it never happened, because millions of people would have been torn between trying to boycott Zimmerman and the temptation to watch him get his ass kicked.


  22. samara says:

    Zimmerman’s karmic punishment is that he has to listen to country music.

    There! Now about that footprint – I have very specific reasons for needing to know. I’m emailing you.


  23. pegoleg says:

    # 8 – bwa haha!


  24. The Hook says:

    What a nightmare/dream come true that would have been for millions of people.


  25. PsiFiGal says:

    “4) Zimmerman felt that having to fight an opponent who hadn’t killed anyone would be beneath him.” You slay me X. You really do.


  26. I hope you don’t mind my reblogging you. Hugs, Barbara


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