This week, North Korean State News agency had released the photos of the North Korea’s new Supreme Leader, the 28 year old Kim Jong Un, attending multiple important state functions, such as a concert featuring Disney characters, in a company of an unidentified young woman. It is so heartwarming to see the young North Korean dictator taking a well-deserved break from running the brutal regime and threatening South Korea with annihilation, and finally expressing an interest in the opposite sex (even if for the sole purpose of conceiving the next leader of North Korea). And even when you are the Supreme Leader of North Korea, meeting girls is still the hardest part. So here are 10 of the pick up lines Kim Jong Un might have used to meet his date.
1) “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like North Korea? Is it because I have tripled the number of soldiers guarding the border?”
2) “Hey babe, do you want to check out my new place? I just got it last year, and it’s really nice, you know. It borders China in the North and South Korea in the South.”
3) “Do you come here often? Actually, never mind, I can just ask my surveillance people.”
4) “I have just decreed to rearrange the Korean alphabet so that ‘U’ and ‘I’ are now together.”
5) “What do you say if we get out of here, somewhere more quiet, just you and me and my bodyguards?”
6) “Do you have my photo in your pocket, cause I can see myself in your pants…. Oh, I see, that is my photo. And it is mandatory for every North Korean to carry it, you say? Cool!”
7) “Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? No? Well, when do you get your food ration card for the next month?”
8) “Your legs must be tired cause you’ve been running through my mind all day. And I really hope you did not see any top secret thoughts in my mind, because if you did, I will have you executed.”
9) “My, you look so beautiful, as if you have managed to avoid the hard labor….”
10) “Why don’t you call me sometime? My number is really easy to remember, just dial North Korea’s country code and then 1. And actually, you don’t even need to dial the number, just pick up the telephone and ask whoever is listening to connect you to me.
Many thanks to Ape No. 1, who had opened my eyes to the fact that even the most brutal dictators deserve rich and rewarding love lives.
Feel free to suggest your own pick up line for Kim Jong Un.