10 Other Conservatives Who Aren’t Welcome At A Conservative Conference

Chris Christie

The official position of CPAC organizers is that they could not fit Chris Christie at the conference (Photo credit: Marissa Babin)

This March, the Republican Party is organizing its annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), which is a big annual gathering of conservatives, where they get together and make conservative speeches to each other and try to out-conservative each other. (I apologize for using word “conservative” so many times, though I’ve honestly tried to use it conservatively). Chris Christie, the Republican Governor of New Jersey, was a star of the last year’s CPAC. However, this year CPAC has not invited Christie to address the conference, citing his “limited future” with the party due to his less-than-conservative positions on Sandy relief and gun control. Here are 10 other prominent conservatives that CPAC organizers will not invite this year, with their brief explanations.

1)  Singer Ted Nugent:  “He said that if Obama is re-elected, he’d be either dead or in jail. Either way, he won’t be able to make it.”

2)  Sarah Palin:  “What if she starts talking, then quits her speech mid-sentence to go on a book tour or reality show?”

3)  Marco Rubio:  “The only way we can have him is if we can keep him away from water bottles.  It was just easier not to invite him than hire TSA agents to confiscate all water bottles.”

4)  George W. Bush:  “Who?”

5)  Allen West, an African American Tea Party politician:  “We already got Herman Cain. What do we need a second black man for?”

6)  Arnold Schwarzenegger:  “He couldn’t make it this year, but said he’ll be back.”

7)  Mitt Romney:  “Why do you keep bringing up these people that we have no idea who they are??”

8) Richard “Rape is a gift form God” Mourdock, a Senatorial candidate:  “Though if he were to attend, his speech would have been a gift from God…”

9) Karl Rove:  “We would have invited him, but he’s just too busy trying to win Ohio for Romney.”

10) Clint Eastwood:  “With so many people that aren’t invited, there would just be too many empty chairs at CPAC to keep Eastwood from talking to them.”

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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38 Responses to 10 Other Conservatives Who Aren’t Welcome At A Conservative Conference

  1. Jueseppi B. says:

    Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™ and commented:
    This is absofuckinlutely magnificent List of X, thank you.


  2. john zande says:

    Christie has (i hear) a 76% approval rating… and they don’t invite him. Yep, these folk truly are insane. Great list, List!


    • List of X says:

      Thank you! And then they wonder why they don’t win elections and think it’s all a giant conspiracy. At least they are not yet trying to burn Christie at the stake for heresy.


  3. bernasvibe says:

    Waving hi! 2 & 4 are my faves! As usual I love IT. 2 thumbs UP. Lmao


  4. Laura says:

    I kind of miss Sarah Palin. Well, not so much Sarah Palin as Tina Fey imitating Sarah Palin.


  5. This is just brilliant. I never type LOL… I hate LOL… but I LOL’d…


  6. Great list, 4, 8 and 10 are my favourites. Bush who?


  7. Also Dick Cheney (“Same reason as George W. Bush.”)


  8. twindaddy says:

    Good ol’ Sarah Palin. Whatever happened to her? Never mind. I don’t care.


  9. I hear they invited Ronald Reagan, but he couldn’t hear them because of the helicopter idling nearby.


  10. The Hook says:

    Brilliant andf hilarious post!


  11. Ape No. 1 says:

    Haha! Can’t until the inevitable “Conservatives Gone Wild” video that will be released shortly after this Republcan lollapalooza.


  12. Hahaha! The Republicans are sticking with the tried and true strategy of only listening to the completely insane fringe wackos of their party. It was so effective in the last two elections. I loved when Jon Stewart said Obama was the luckiest man alive because of who he was up against.


  13. Argus says:

    Frankly even here in lil’ ol’ New Zealand I think all politicians are whacko — why should yours be any different? But that Obama guy has to be well qualified as the most powerful idio— man in the world. He’s got a nice smile.

    (That’s what he was elected on, no?)


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