Last week, the White House made a decision to suspend the tours of the White House due to budget cuts. Predictably, this decision angered the Republicans, as does any other Obama’s decision. Though, unpredictably, several prominent Republicans, such as Sean Hannity and Donald Trump, actually offered to chip in with their own money to keep the White House tours going. Unfortunately, this amazing generosity did not extend to paying even a cent to prevent furloughs and layoffs of air traffic controllers, firefighters, and teachers. Here are 10 reasons why Republicans believe that preserving the White House tours is more important than education or defense.
1) A tour is the only way a Republican can get into the White House now.
2) The White House is the only federal building with the heat on after the budget cuts.
3) Trump and Hannity still hold out a hope that while on a tour, some brave patriot will get a chance to rummage through Obama’s papers and will finally find his real birth certificate.
4) Because unlike the furloughed teachers, the White House tour guides do not teach evolution, but a Republican-approved version of intelligent design theory, according to which the Founding Fathers created everything.
5) To every Ronald Reagan devotee, closing White House feels like closing the Vatican feels to a Catholic.
6) The Republicans want to obstruct Obama administration further by clogging the White House hallways with tourists.
7) By sponsoring the tours, they could claim that it’s their own money that keeps the White House open for business.
8) Donald Trump still hadn’t had a chance to see which carpets and drapes he would need for when he’s elected president.
9) Since Obama Administration refused to rule out drone strikes on the American citizens even on the American soil, the White House suddenly became the safest place in the country.
10) According to Republicans, running the tours should be the only function allowed to the Democrat-controlled executive branch.