10 Reactions To The Government Shutdown

Due to the shutdown, a clever caption service was deemed non-essential and will not be provided.

Due to the government shutdown, a clever caption was deemed a non-essential service and will not be provided.

The United States government has been partially shut down last Monday, when the Republican-controlled House refused to fund the government over their objections to the Affordable Care Act, a.k.a. Obamacare.  Hundreds of thousands of federal workers have been sent out on unpaid furlough, national parks were closed, and Panda Cam has gone offline.  Oh, and by October 17 the Congress will have to raise the debt ceiling to allow administration to borrow more to cover the deficits incurred by the Congress. However, Republicans are expected to demand more concessions, so that Congress can finally hold Barack Obama accountable for their actions.  Not surprisingly, everyone has an opinion on whose fault this mess is, so here are 10 of the reactions to the shutdown and debt ceiling debacle.

1) Mitch McConnell, Republican Senate leader:  “We are ready to negotiate, but Barack Obama won’t negotiate with us!  And everyone knows that all negotiations require two parties – one party that supposed to make the demands, and another party that supposed to give in to all those demands!

2) Department of Defense: “We have decided to recall some furloughed federal workers back to work. We’ve used our surveillance equipment to track them, and it’s not like they have any better stuff to do.”

3) Louis Gohmert, Republican Congressman:  The impact of this whole shutdown thing has been hugely overblown.  There is no impact, whatsoever.  I’ve asked a few of my colleagues in Congress, and all of us are still getting a paycheck like we used to.

4) House Speaker John Boehner:  I wish we could end the shutdown, but we just don’t have the votes. Both of the Koch brothers are against ending the shutdown, so it’s not even close.

5) Al Qaeda:  Having analyzed the potential impact of the shutdown and debt default on the Great American Satan, we have retrofitted our terrorist training camps to start training Republicans instead.

6) Rand Paul, Republican Senator: A huge problem for the market is uncertainty: Wall Street investors don’t know whether the country will default, whether the government will continue to function, or when we go into a new recession.  So by defaulting on the debt, shutting down the government, and hopefully crashing the economy all at once, we can finally bring a measure of certainty and stability that the private businesses so desperately need.

7) Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader:  The good news is that Congress has passed the law that provides for back pay to all furloughed federal workers, so although they do zero productive work, they will still be paid for it.  I think it was really unfair that only members of Congress got that sweet deal, but not anyone else.

8) Ted Cruz, Republican Senator/Dr. Seuss fan: We think it’s not fair that many newer Republican members of Congress never had a chance to participate in the Obamacare debate, and should be given the opportunity to debate and vote on it.  Also, it’s really unfair that most of our members never had the chance to vote on the Civil Rights Act, the 1890 Antitrust law, and Emancipation Proclamation, and so want that too a as condition for raising the debt ceiling.

9) Barack Obama:  On days like this, I wish I was really born in Kenya, so that I would have been ineligible to put up with this crap.

10) American Public:  We’re really angry with Republicans, Democrats, Congress and Obama about this shutdown thing!  Football’s on, so pick another time for this, morons!

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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58 Responses to 10 Reactions To The Government Shutdown

  1. Pyx says:

    Won’t somebody please think of the pandas!

    Like

  2. Ankur Mithal says:

    11) Since they anyway did not do anything, the shutdown has had no impact

    12) It has provided a much-needed shot-in-the-arm to the economy with everyone poking fun at the government leading to people spending needlessly even more on watching talk-shows and reading articles

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Yes, I am sure media loves this story. Although, honestly, they would prefer a good old-fashioned sex scandal.

      Like

      • The sex scandal is just a matter of time.
        Since the announcement that they would be paid (which doesn’t surprise those who’ve paid attention every time this happens), federal workers have clogged the streets and the bars with nothing but time and money to burn. ::grumble::

        Like

  3. Elyse says:

    How on earth did you manage to stop at 10?

    Like

  4. mhasegawa says:

    1) would be funnier if it weren’t really what Mitch thinks.

    Like

  5. Ape No. 1 says:

    “I do not like no Panda Cam, I do not like them, Republicans”

    I think Senator Cruz should have considered picking an author more sympathetic to his political views.

    Like

  6. I believe your caption is in violation of furlough orders. Fortunately, the sargeant-at-arms is home watching Maury, so you’re good.

    Like

  7. The Cutter says:

    Living outside DC, I have a bunch of friends who are furloughed. The mood is starting to change. At first, they’re all like “Bonus vacation!” Now, its starting to become, “Wait…I kinda need that money.”

    Like

    • Douglas E says:

      Yes, but…..our ever-wise government apparently plans to backpay, which sure looks like paid vacation to many of us.

      Like

      • List of X says:

        Our government, especially Congress, is many things, but “wise” is not one of them. The fact they try to save money by furloughing workers and then paying them full salary is proof enough. (I know you were being sarcastic, it’s just I’ve never seen “wise” and “government” used in the same sentence before 🙂

        Like

    • List of X says:

      I know House and Senate are trying to pass a law to give back pay to people on furlough, and House already passed it. So, hopefully, your friends will be like “Bonus paid vacation! Hey! This shutdown thing isn’t so bad!”

      Like

  8. john zande says:

    The deep er question is: if the cam isn’t on, are the pandas still there?

    Like

  9. I am grateful for my running water. #9…..I bet he really thinks this every single morning.

    Like

  10. Carrie Rubin says:

    Oh, what must other countries think of us? We’re providing some pretty excellent leadership with this shut-down stuff. Talk about an international role model…

    “Barack Obama: On days like this, I wish I was really born in Kenya, so that I would have been ineligible to put up with this crap.”—Made me laugh out loud. 🙂

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Unfortunately, even if Obama had been born in Kenya, he’d still be eligible to be president. At least, Ted Cruz isn’t disqualified even though he was born in Canada to American mother and Cuban father (and, by the way, his father, who loves America so much, waited 50 years to become a US citizen). And let’s not forget John McCain, who was – fun fact – born in Panama 🙂

      Like

      • Carrie Rubin says:

        I used to like McCain until he started pandering to the ultra-conservative. He had some good thoughts and was able to compromise and cross party lines. Until he ran for office, that is…

        Like

        • List of X says:

          McCain is still one of the most reasonable members of GOP. (In other words, one of the sanest patients in the mental asylum) At least he just admitted that shutdown was all GOP (on Fox News, no less). In 2008, he stood up to the crowd of his supporters at a pre-election rally and told them that Obama is not an Arab, when someone yelled that he is. And he’s one of the two authors of the campaign finance law that Supreme Court struck down in the Citizens United decision. True, McCain does plenty of pandering to the extreme right wing too, but he still shows some remnants of sanity and ability to occasionally put the country first (unlike many of his colleagues), so I still have some measure of respect for him.

          Like

          • Carrie Rubin says:

            Agreed. I didn’t know that about his recent admittance that the shutdown was GOP-generated. He scored a point in my book for that one. By the way: “In other words, one of the sanest patients in the mental asylum”—loved that!

            Like

  11. ssshhhh… I am trying to get my brain to shut down…

    Like

  12. Amaya says:

    I need my Panda Cam fix!

    Like

  13. AirportsMadeSimple says:

    Football! I’m going with football. The picture caption at the top was great. 🙂

    Like

  14. The Hook says:

    This shutdown has become a golden age of blogging for someone as talented and insightful as yourself, old friend.
    Well done!

    Like

  15. pegoleg says:

    Thank goodness that nasty business was resolved! Now that we’ve got government spending reigned in some, and the carbuncle on the butt of the country that is Obamacare has been surgically removed….oh wait, nothing actually happened.

    The only good thing that came out of this useless, grandstanding gesture, was this post.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Considering that the shutdown was estimated to cost $24 billion to the economy and my post was the only good result, this was a pretty expensive post :). And since Congress only moved the deadlines up by a few month, we may yet see the actual default.

      Like

  16. bernasvibe says:

    @9) Barack Obama: On days like this, I wish I was really born & in Kenya, so that I would have been ineligible to put up with this crap….>>This has got to be my fave..I’m willing to bet he’s wished this many, many, m a n y times during both terms..Many. #10 was a close 2nd fave; but I’m not a football fan. Too violent for me..Only exciting parts are watching buff, fine guys run around(though I prefer watching them bounce & run playing Bball) & the fun of a superbowl party.

    Like

  17. EagleAye says:

    Laugh out loud funny, although dangerously close to reality. I’d almost believe Al-Queda is training our Republicans. Tea-baggers are certainly doing more damage to our nation than terrorists ever imagined.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Did you know that a Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal is a second largest stockholder of Fox News? According to every conspiracy theory standard, this would be a conclusive proof that al Qaeda IS training Republicans.

      Like

      • EagleAye says:

        Good point. Saudi princes have it in for us. Seems the training methods are similar too. Al-Queda lures in impressionable boys with the promise of 72 virgins. Fox lures in impressionable boys with a series of busty blond bimbos.

        I mean other stations have attractive newscasters, but not so many they could fill a full-fledged stripper bar. It’s clear what audience Fox is targeting, and it’s not those who think with the “big head.”

        Like

  18. Number one all the way – I HATE it when people say well the Democrats are at fault too because they won’t give in either. That’s ALL they do is give in, so when for once they show a teensy bit of backbone boooo. Ugh.

    As a state employee, I still had to work. No paid vacation for me. That sucks. Otherwise, did anyone really notice the gov’t being shut down? Doesn’t that say something?

    Like

    • List of X says:

      It was only a partial shutdown, so the only services that were stopped were those which don’t have a life or death importance. That’s the reason the shutdown didn’t seem like a big deal to a lot of people – until some of them needed to use the “non-essential” services like national parks or passports. Although, considering that some of those “non-essential” services included cancer treatments for certain patients and death benefits for soldiers, it was definitely a matter of life and death for some people.

      Like

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