The Republican leadership of the House of Representatives has released the work schedule for the House in 2014, which reduced the number of days the Congress will be in session to 113, compared to 126 days in 2013. The change in schedule means that for at least 252 days in 2014, there would be no legislative gridlock in Washington. Here are 10 reasons why House leaders shortened their work schedule.
1) Congressmen understand the plight of millions of American part-time workers, and wanted to show their support by cutting their own hours.
2) The change in schedule will give Republican Representatives more time to complain that Barack Obama is spending way too much time on vacation.
3) Members of Congress noticed that the more they work, the lower their approval rating gets, and decided that there was only one way to reverse the trend.
4) 239 days was barely enough time for the Representatives to spend their $174,000 annual salary.
5) By working 226 days during 2014, House can do two years worth of work, and wouldn’t need to come to work until January 2016 at all.
6) By not telling their spouses about the reduction in scheduled workdays from 126 to 113, Congressmen get 13 unaccounted days which they need to use for their extramarital affairs.
7) Representatives need a lot of time to run the campaign for the 2014 election, so that once they get re-elected they can immediately begin campaigning for 2016 election.
8) By cutting work hours for all Representatives to less than 30 hours per week, Republican leaders are trying to circumvent the Obamacare requirement that all full-time employees must have health insurance.
9) Meetings with constituents now takes longer than before, because the legislator’s staff has to first vet the constituents to ensure only those who agree with the Representative will be allowed to attend.
10) The Republican leadership can safely reduce the number of workdays, because most Republican member of Congress can complete all of their work in just 10 minutes in just three easy steps: a) writing a note “I vote against whatever Obama is for”, b) signing it, and c) handing the note to the House Speaker John Boehner.
A personal note: I received a notification informing me that two days ago was the 3rd anniversary of me getting sucked into a giant black hole named WordPress. Are there any parents reading this? Is it normal for a 3-year old to still be unable to count beyond 10?