10 Reasons Why Scotland Voted Against Independence

And how could Scotland rob England of this heavenly music?

How could Scotland possibly rob England of this heavenly music?

This Wednesday, Scotland held a referendum on whether to declare independence and leave the United Kingdom. The referendum attracted a record voter turnout, helped by lowering of voting age to 16, but in the end the proponents of independence lost the vote, 45% to 55%. Here are 10 reasons why Scotland chose to remain a part of the United Kingdom.

1) Recently, any territories breaking away from a country the name of which starts with “UK” tend to get taken over by Russia.

2) At the last moment, Scots decided that declaring independence from Great Britain over being annoyed with royal wedding/royal pregnancy/royal baby hype would be a bit of overreaction.

3) Scottish voters were worried about the American habit to occasionally invade small countries that have oil.

4) Lowering voting age to 16 wasn’t enough, because this age limit excluded a key bloc of potential 13-14 year old voters who would have been the most enthusiastic about rebelling against the status quo.

5) Scots realized that even gaining independence, Scotland still has to share the same island with England.

6) Ballots with the word “FREEDOM!” written accross the page in large letters were considered invalid and were not counted.

7) The best-known example of territory declaring independence from Britain was the United States, and in recent years, this example has lost quite a lot of its luster.

8) Some voters began celebrating their independence a little bit too early in the pubs to go to the polls.

9) For others, it was more appealing to live in the country whose most famous resident is the queen, than in the country whose most famous resident is the Loch Ness monster.

10) Scotland and England couldn’t agree on who gets the custody of Wales.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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53 Responses to 10 Reasons Why Scotland Voted Against Independence

  1. Gibber says:

    Annnd the big one, I didn’t get a vote.

    Like

  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    These are great. Loved #9. Then again, they still get to boast producing Sean Connery, even though his Bond buddy betrayed them by working for the Brits.

    Like

  3. Bill Hayes says:

    I loved No 3. Thanks for this, it has been the first chuckle I have had about the referendum. It’s all been way too serious.

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  4. Re #3: Britain itself does have quite a history of invading other countries as well. If you have an unsecured land border with them, it may make you think twice.

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  5. 1jaded1 says:

    So funny and clever. These did almost make me spit out my beverage. Silly me for not listening.

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  6. El Guapo says:

    Was number ten who “gets” Wales, or who “had to take” Wales?

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  7. The photo caption made me snort and my wife came over to see what did it. She laughed, too!

    #5 was an astute observation but the Dominican Republic and Haiti share the same island and they have been VERY adept at keeping a sound border.

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  8. Jim Wheeler says:

    It’s a place where men wear skirts, the weather is like Canada’s, all fun is discouraged by religion. The sane prevailed to keep a bridge to the real world. 🙂

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  9. Twindaddy says:

    Bwahahahaha.

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  10. Steve Ruis says:

    It would also be a bitch for the Queen … her favorite vacation home is in Scotland and it just would do to have England’s Queen vacationing all of the time in a foreign country.

    “God is in the details.”

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  11. Paul says:

    Ha! Funny post X. I like #8 – like maybe about 300 years too early (as in when they bacme a part of the UK).

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  12. Ankur Mithal says:

    Now the Scots (or is it Scotch?) really know why they voted against independence. I think there is another future piece there about why England (or at least the politicians) wanted Scotland to stay.

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  13. Do you think this could be the problem here? That entire early celebration thing going on? It isn’t apathy it is hang over?

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  14. Elyse says:

    It’s so sad. The English are already reneging on their promises.

    I think the real reason they didn’t vote for independence is because they were foolish enough to believe in politicians’ promises.

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    • List of X says:

      But on the other hand, those who did vote for independence believed the promises of different politicians – except now we won’t know just how exaggerated these promises were.

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  15. I heard that soon England will be having a vote on whether or not to Kick Scotland out…

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  16. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Yikes, 5 is awkward. Like a booty call, but in the morning not having any place to do the “walk of shame” back to.

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  17. 1jaded1 says:

    On a more serious note, I have friends who say it was decided way before the “election” and yes would never win, even if it did. Still trying to sort that one out.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      From what I heard, only a couple of polls ever showed the “Yes” side winning, while all others predicted “No”. So I was expecting “No” to win – in fact, I started thinking of this post before the voting was over. 🙂
      I wonder whether your friends meant “decided” in the same sense.

      Like

      • 1jaded1 says:

        I don’t know. I know my one friend thinks that “elections” are a placation to the masses, both in the U.S. and now Scotland, and that the “decisions” are already made. He mocks me because I have to vote my piece, even though it won’t win.

        I just need to heed your advice and not drink while reading. Problem solved.

        Like

  18. aFrankAngle says:

    I kept waiting on the reason involving the pubs, so at least #8 came through.

    Like

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