There are few time-honored traditions that aren’t meant to be broken, such as the sun coming up every morning, or Santa Claus having a beard, or an American president being white (well, until recently). And a white actor playing Agent 007 has been one of these proud traditions. So when one of the leaked Sony Pictures’ executive’s e-mails contained a suggestion to make British actor Idris Elba the next Agent 007 James Bond, quite a few people became upset with this idea, because in Ian Fleming’s book James Bond is Scottish, and Idris Elba is, let’s face it, British. Oh, and black. This was the objection of the conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh, who insisted that a black Briton Idris Elba shouldn’t be playing Bond, because that would wouldn’t be true to Fleming’s story. So here are 10 reasons why James Bond shouldn’t be played by Idris Elba, or any other black actor for that matter.
001) James Bond is a fictional character and Idris Elba is real.
002) A drastic change from a white to black hero would leave the audiences shaken, not stirred.
003) Like some other famous black people, black Agent 007 would always have to have his birth certificate ready to prove that he really is Bond, James Bond.
004) Because every secret agent in every spy movie is white, no one can possibly expect a black man to be a secret agent – which is why everyone should and would suspect him of being a secret agent.
005) While riding in his shiny BMW supercar, black Agent 007 would constantly get pulled over by the police eager to know what a man like him is doing in such an expensive car in such a nice neighborhood. As you can imagine, this would make car chase scenes nearly impossible.
006) According to FBI statistics, black secret agents are 31 times more likely to get killed by villains that the white ones.
007) If James Bond suddenly becomes black instead of white, Bond’s moral character would instantly become an huge issue considering that as James Bond he had likely sired and left fatherless dozens of children with various Bond Girls.
008) Police are much more tolerant of white people carrying guns than black ones, and a black 007 better hope they don’t find his license to kill during a routine stop-and-frisk.
009) Since most Bond villains are white and probably racist, they would not trust black Agent 007 enough to tell him all the details of their evil plans just before Bond’s escape.
010) When black James Bond saves the world, everyone is going to assume that he succeeded only because of the affirmative action.