There are many well-known traditions associated with Halloween – carving pumpkins, decorating houses, trick-or-treating, and wearing costumes to Halloween parties. Most of those traditional activities take place on or before Halloween, but there is a relatively recent traditional Halloween activity that takes place immediately after Halloween, namely, looking at the photos of people wearing Halloween costumes and getting outraged about this or that disgraceful Halloween costume being offensive for this or that legitimate reason. Since there are so many different Halloween costumes that can be offensive, here is a list of 10 especially offensive costumes that you should never wear again, and must immediately burn in a fire (started with fair trade organic firewood, of course).
1) Princess costume: This pretentious costume perpetuates the sham of wealth inequality and absolutist trampling of human rights.
2) Any costume involving “blackface” (painting the face black to look like African American): This applies to “blackfacing” even a part of a face, such as applying mascara, dark eye shadow or black lipstick.
3) A costume of any superhero: Unquestionably, any superhero costume is demeaning to regular cowards.
4) Ghost or Zombie costume: These costumes promote objectification of dead people. Dead people are people, too, and should never be seen as objects.
5) Cowboy costume: This costume glorifies the murder of Native Americans and destruction of Native American culture, and therefore offensive to Native Americans – as opposed to the Native American costume which is offensive to Native Americans because it mocks the Native American culture. I realize this is confusing, but according to the modern standards of cultural tolerance it is inconceivable that anyone could possibly want to glorify the Native American culture.
6) Peanuts character costume: Offensive to any person with allergies.
7) Pirate costume: Since today’s piracy is a big problem off the coast of Africa, a pirate costume is obviously racist.
8) Luke Skywalker costume: This costume sets unrealistic expectation in boys and teaches them that all problems can be solved by using the force.
9) Elf, Hobbit, Dwarf, or any other Lord of The Rings-related costume: These reprehensible costumes celebrate the genocide against the Orcs and the near complete eradication of the Orc culture.
10) Red Riding Hood: This costume manages to be insensitive at once to color-blind people, wolf enthusiasts, vegetarians, and people with gluten intolerance.
Feel free to add more offensive costumes to the list, or, if you don’t know why a certain outfit is offensive, ask me and I will try to explain.