10 Outrageously Offensive Halloween Costumes That No One Should Ever Wear Again

The latest offensive outfit, worn by one of the many offsprings of the Kardashian clan. It's hard to say what's more offensive: whether it's the fact that the outfit was called an "Eskimo", or whether no one whether

The latest offensive outfit, worn by one of the many offsprings of the Kardashian clan.
It’s hard to say what’s more offensive: whether it’s the fact that the outfit was called an “Eskimo”, or whether in Eskimo language this would even be called an “outfit”, or whether it’s the fact that a Kardashian is wearing it.

There are many well-known traditions associated with Halloween – carving pumpkins, decorating houses, trick-or-treating, and wearing costumes to Halloween parties. Most of those traditional activities take place on or before Halloween, but there is a relatively recent traditional Halloween activity that takes place immediately after Halloween, namely, looking at the photos of people wearing Halloween costumes and getting outraged about this or that disgraceful Halloween costume being offensive for this or that legitimate reason. Since there are so many different Halloween costumes that can be offensive, here is a list of 10 especially offensive costumes that you should never wear again, and must immediately burn in a fire (started with fair trade organic firewood, of course).

1)  Princess costume: This pretentious costume perpetuates the sham of wealth inequality and absolutist trampling of human rights.

2)  Any costume involving “blackface” (painting the face black to look like African American): This applies to “blackfacing” even a part of a face, such as applying mascara, dark eye shadow or black lipstick.

3)  A costume of any superhero: Unquestionably, any superhero costume is demeaning to regular cowards.

4)  Ghost or Zombie costume: These costumes promote objectification of dead people. Dead people are people, too, and should never be seen as objects.

5)  Cowboy costume: This costume glorifies the murder of Native Americans and destruction of Native American culture, and therefore offensive to Native Americans – as opposed to the Native American costume which is offensive to Native Americans because it mocks the Native American culture. I realize this is confusing, but according to the modern standards of cultural tolerance it is inconceivable that anyone could possibly want to glorify the Native American culture.

6)  Peanuts character costume: Offensive to any person with allergies.

7)  Pirate costume: Since today’s piracy is a big problem off the coast of Africa, a pirate costume is obviously racist.

8)  Luke Skywalker costume: This costume sets unrealistic expectation in boys and teaches them that all problems can be solved by using the force.

9)  Elf, Hobbit, Dwarf, or any other Lord of The Rings-related costume: These reprehensible costumes celebrate the genocide against the Orcs and the near complete eradication of the Orc culture.

10)  Red Riding Hood: This costume manages to be insensitive at once to color-blind people, wolf enthusiasts, vegetarians, and people with gluten intolerance.

Feel free to add more offensive costumes to the list, or, if you don’t know why a certain outfit is offensive, ask me and I will try to explain.

 

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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74 Responses to 10 Outrageously Offensive Halloween Costumes That No One Should Ever Wear Again

  1. Number nine breaks my heart. Just kidding! It’s made of Mithril.

    Like

  2. Ankur Mithal says:

    Do you see any Orcs in the neighbourhood today? Or in any neighbourhood?
    No.
    I rest my case.

    Like

  3. Paul says:

    I despise clowns so I think they should be added to #1 as demeaning the poor.

    Awesome list X.

    Liked by 1 person

    • demaning the poor? I’m just plain scared of them 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • List of X says:

      I think that clown costume is offensive to people who are humor challenged. (Although, to be fair, most costumes could be offensive to these people).

      Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        I dislike any costume that covers the face so the person can’t be identified – unless it is required for safety or religious reasons. On top of that I am not really frightened of clowns per se – they make me angry. Clowns were originally designed to mock ignorance and poverty. “The English word clown is first recorded c. 1560 (as clowne, cloyne) in the generic meaning “rustic, boor, peasant”.” – Wiki. It has only been recently that they became agents of humor – even so they specialize in making fools of themselves with slapstick- in essence mocking the ignorant.

        Sorry, didn’t mean to rant there – great post X.

        Like

        • List of X says:

          I think that on Halloween, covering the face should be allowed even without religious or safety reasons. But you could wear a costume of a Muslim beekeeper, too, I guess. 🙂

          Like

  4. aFrankAngle says:

    As always, a great list … and I will never again consider dressing as Mr. Peanut, which is also offensive to males with small one-eyed monks. Can you believe there’s also a Mr. Softie?

    Like

  5. After spending many, many years dealing with throngs of trick-or-treating princesses, I was so happy this year to not see a single one. No Frozen Elsa’s in sight. Best Halloween of my life.

    Like

  6. I was not a good costume planner as a child, and as such, I often resorted to the last minute choice of going out as a bum. In retrospect, I was being insensitive to the hobo community, riders of rails and Emmett Kelly.

    Like

  7. Jim Wheeler says:

    Want to have a unique costume next year? How about dressing up as Ward Cleaver? 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Amaya says:

    My daughter was a broken doll with a crack in her face. Please tell me who we may have offended.

    Like

  9. dude… this is so awesome… it is the most tongue in cheek damning of our politically correct culture ever… and besides, that peanut allergy one actually made me lol… dang it…

    Like

  10. Glazed says:

    Those poor kids who dress up as ghosts by throwing a sheet over their head and cutting out eye holes are offensive. They look too much like they’re throwing a KKK rally.

    Like

  11. Gibber says:

    Dressing up as the opposite sex I’m sure could be seen as offensive to many.

    Like

  12. Elyse says:

    Way to go, X. Bring up my most horrible Halloween experience, ever. Left me scarred for life. Or scared. One of the two.

    I dressed up when I was 4 as the most beautiful princess ever. Then I promptly fell face first into a mud puddle. I have been beauty challenged ever since.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Wow, that must have been a very traumatic experience – I don’t think I could recall anything in my life from that age. In fact, I only seem to have any kind of memories of maybe three or four Halloweens in my entire life. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Elyse says:

        It ended up just fine, I was harassing you.

        It happened I front of a convent down the street. My siblings left me there in front of a lovely roaring fireplace with a bunch of nice nuns. My mom made them share their candy.

        Like

        • List of X says:

          Maybe this was the event that made your brother realize that he really doesn’t feel like sharing the candy that he earned with those less fortunate and turned him into Republican?…

          Liked by 1 person

          • Elyse says:

            No. That brother wasn’t involved in this incident.

            This one involved my truly wonderful brother. He had lapses in wonderful mess though. Because two years later when our family moved on Halloween into an old run down house, my entire bag of candy from a huge haul disappeared. Fred blamed the ghost and generously shared his. Of course Fred was the ghost. He is however a staunch democrat and I forgive him anything!

            Like

  13. Carrie Rubin says:

    Well, I suppose in this vein, no one should wear a Donald Trump mask. It’s offensive to Oompa Loompas and the hair-follicle-challenged.

    Like

  14. Scott says:

    This might be your best list ever.

    Like

  15. 11) Office Drone: Insulting me and just about everyone I know, have ever known or ever will know. A painful reminder of life’s unfulfilled dreams and diminished hopes.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      As insulting as the Office Drone costume is, I’m still going to wear it, because it’s the only costume trick-or-treating in which results in cold hard cash all year round.

      Like

  16. Pirate costumes are racist? Mascara counts as blacking up? Oh man, we need to reset the moral compass in our house!!

    Like

  17. HoaiPhai says:

    Over the past few years I have noticed the alarming Hallowe’en trend of more and more children dressing up as children who are dressing up as someone/something else. Aren’t parents instilling a sense of pride in oneself in their children anymore? Instead of candies this year I handed out vouchers so the kids can get “Be unique! Be yourself!” applied using a new tattoo stenciling technique… just trying to get the message out there.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Yeah, what better way to express your individuality than with a same exact tattoo as millions other kids have. Although, if that were, say, a four year old with this tattoo, that would be pretty unique.

      Like

  18. You have effectively eliminated and made bankrupt any and all businesses producing or selling any kind of Halloween costume!

    Like

  19. pegoleg says:

    What’s the deal with all the offensive costumes nowadays? When I was a kid everybody wore a printed, nylons smock that tied in the back, and a plastic face mask that was held smack against your face with a too-tight elastic band. The tiny eye and nose holes and tight mask meant you were light-headed from lack of oxygen, blinded by sweat and couldn’t see to walk, let alone figure out what anybody else was wearing, so nobody got offended.

    Like

  20. ahahaha!!! your lists are so awesome!! Imagine the bloodshed if someone dressed as Charlie Brown walked into an allergy convention…

    Like

  21. This was funnier than ever. Politics aside, I insulted everyone at a party a few years ago half the couples came as Jessica Simpson and her then date mate some Dallas Cowboy. I just laughed and laughed (they lived in the neighborhood). I said they wouldn’t last and she would move on. She did.

    I want someone sometime to go as a brick (her) and a bricklayer (him). No one has taken me up on it yet.

    Me? I always go as myself, but nicer.

    Like

  22. Wow, that is a lot of offensive stuff there! I wonder if I can now write my post about wanting to change my species to cat without offending transgender people or cats. I just want to be a cat is all. They get to sleep all the time and the rich ones inherit lots of wealth. I’d just want a few accommodations at the workplace like litterboxes in the restroom, no people food in the fridge, and plenty of nap time. Is that so wrong? By the way my costume this year was librarian. I think I offended a lot of non-readers.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I don’t you have insulted non-readers, most of them don’t even know what a librarian is. But as a cat, why would you even need to work? You just need to find a rich owner who is about to die, and pretend to be nice to him.
      Maybe you can convince the doctors doing your surgery to make a few extra modifications…

      Like

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