10 Things You Did Not Realize That Are Surprisingly Racist

If you just pay attention, you find that there’s racism even within a dictionary. (It’s possible that the placement of the image is also racist because it’s been aligned to the right).

The death of George Floyd at the hands of the police has reignited the movement of people coming out on the streets to protest against racism, and a movement of people coming out on Twitter to point out and call out more and more things that are racist. Because pointing out racist things online is easier and doesn’t carry risk of being teargassed or arrested, here are 10 more things that are unexpectedly racist.

1) Elections: Elections are racist, since white folks get five times more votes than black people.

2) Sports: Hockey and swimming are racist because they have a severe underrepresentation of black athletes, and basketball and football are racist because they shamelessly parade and exploit the mostly black athletes for the entertainment of largely white audiences.

3) Lead paint: Basically, it’s a tin can just filled with toxic whiteness.

4) Astronomy: A white-colored star is making all the other planets run in circles around it in our solar system. Compare and contrast to the concept of a “black hole” which is considered to be a destructive force in the universe that pull in anything that fall below the event horizon and doesn’t allow it to escape (which I guess is astronomy-speak for “once you go black, you don’t go back”).

5) Martin Luther King, Jr. He was an early supporter of the racist “all people are equal, all lives equally matter” agenda.

6) Logic: Logic is racist because… I wish I could explain, but making a logical argument why logic is racist would just be perpetuating racism.

7) Grocery shopping: Many fruits, such as bananas or apples are only considered to be good while their skin is light-colored, but are passed over and discarded when they turn brown or black.

8) Photosynthesis: This is a process in plants that – problematically – works only when it’s light out, but not when it’s dark, and depends on the sun, which we just determined to be racist.

9) Having black friends: Everybody knows that anyone who says “I have a black friend” is only using it to justify their racism.

??) Numbers, because they are an oppressively hierarchical construct where some numbers are always assumed to be higher than the others. Also, there were many documented historical incidents where numbers had been used to count slaves.

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
This entry was posted in Humor, List of 10, Satire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to 10 Things You Did Not Realize That Are Surprisingly Racist

  1. Tippy Gnu says:

    I like #6 the best, though I can’t explain why. However, the Indy 500 and Kentucky Derby are racist for self-explanatory reasons.


  2. Ankur Mithal says:

    Indeed. On a serious note, many times it is a farce. It is an inherent information processing mechanism. Of course, one hopes it does not lead to unfairness and vilification. My last post talks about accusations hurled at established Hindi film producers for ignoring ‘fresh off the ship’ newcomers in favour of children of movie people. Is that an accusation of racism?


  3. Trent Lewin says:

    X explores the places that others won’t these days… I’d never considered the place of racism in astronomy, or the part holes in space play into our radicalized ideas of ourselves. If I ever meet a black hole, I’m going to have a drink with it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • List of X says:

      I’m just doing my small humble part to make sure everything is eventually found to be racist. And I have no doubt that this is the only way this could end, because one way of finding racism is by following an “if A is racist, and B is associated with A, therefore B is also racist” deduction method.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Take a look, a really good one … “George Floyd’s death, at the hands of the police, has reignited the movement of people coming out on the streets to protest against racism, and a movement of people coming out on Twitter to point out and call out more and more things that are racist.”


  5. You’re likely to receive nasty letters. You know that, right? It’s gotten to the point where I’m afraid to ask a restaurant worker for a “black coffee”. Not that I’m going to any restaurants currently, due to COVID.


    • List of X says:

      Is it weird that I was more concerned about nasty letters and other nasty repercussions for this post than after 20 posts mocking Trump, a guy who controls the FBI, the NSA, the IRS, just to name a few, and is supported by the KKK, racists, and millions of perpetually angry guys?


      • It’s not weird at all. No one really cares about Trump and his cronies, but everyone is sensitive to anything having to do with their own genetic or cultural background. After so many generations of living together and working side by side, that should no longer be true, but it is. I’m half Polish, and while I laugh at Polish jokes the same as everyone else, sometimes I still feel like people look down on me because my ancestors didn’t come over on the Mayflower. People just have a way of being nasty to each other until someone finally stands up and says, “That’s enough.”


  6. Jim Wheeler says:

    Racial tropes abound and may over-sensitize, but racism does exist, as does generational income inequality. Hollywood helps. The wife and I just re-watched “Trading Places.” The recent movie, “The Help” is instructive. The disabling by the Supreme Court of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 is likely to make the 2020 election even more epic for disenfranchising the Democrat vote. Overall, I see racial progress in my time. The site of the Tulsa 1921 race massacre is just 100 miles SW of where I live.


    • List of X says:

      Oh, I don’t question the existence of racism. It’s just there seems to be a trend of people competing with each other to be the first to call out the next new racist thing for likes, retweets, and magazine articles. I’m just trying to be helpful.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Your humor is getting darker and more sarcastic and subversive… YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  8. Eric says:

    Reblogged this on Calculus of Decay and commented:
    Perfect 🤣


I can see you have something to say...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s