10 Reasons Why Barack Obama Is Now Supporting Gay Marriage

Crowd in support of Gay Marriage

This rally is now under new management.

Earlier this week, in an interview with ABC News, Barack Obama had finally come out in favor of same-sex marriage, just a few days after Vice President Joe Biden had also voiced his support.  Without further ado, here are 10 reasons why Barack Obama had supported gay marriage:

1) Barack Obama had spent so much time fundraising in Hollywood, he got the impression that gay voters outnumber straight ones.

2)  With just a few months before the election, Barack Obama could not afford to have his Vice President making gaffes and had to make it look like not an accident.

3)  With Republican party firmly in control in the House and the Senate (let’s just call it for what it is), Barack Obama is now free to voice his support for anything without having to worry about actually signing it into a law.

4)  At least some people will now be excited to vote for Obama, and will generally be better dressed while at it.

5)  By mentioning “those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf” in the same interview, Barack Obama had incited a firestorm of accusations from the Tea Party conspiracy nuts who immediately saw “on my behalf” as an irrefutable proof of Obama’s dictatorial and tyrannical ambitions. With such a cunning maneuver, Barack Obama had managed to distract the Tea Party’s attention and therefore avoided any criticism for his support of gay marriage.

6)  Because Barack Obama had thanked his daughters, Sasha and Malia, for the inspiration in his decision to support gay marriage, we now know that it is Sasha and Malia who really run the country!

7)  Barack Obama wanted to prove to the Tea Party once and for all that he is not a Muslim and not a Communist, because Muslims and Communists do not support gay marriage. Unfortunately, the Tea Party was too busy paying attention to “on my behalf” to notice.

8)  Barack Obama had finally decided to support gay marriage because his views have evolved. However, if the evolution of his views continues, in a few years Barack Obama will make a gay marriage mandatory and those Americans not in a gay marriage will have to pay a $750 annual fine.

9) That was the president’s way of saying F.U. to North Carolina.

10)  Mitt Romney bet $10,000 that Obama will never support gay marriage publicly.

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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8 Responses to 10 Reasons Why Barack Obama Is Now Supporting Gay Marriage

  1. freddyflow says:

    #11. Joe Biden gave him a “Greatest Hits of Bette Midler” album for May Day.


  2. Billy says:

    Nothing wrong with Obama.


  3. Pingback: Exclusive: The Vetting – Barack Obama, the First Tea Partier – John Malcolm

  4. tamerlane says:

    11) Now he can ‘fess up to that big rock on Reggie Love’s finger.


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