
“I was just driving around in my bus, minding my own business, when suddenly this Obama rally just swerved into my lane…”
Yesterday, both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were campaigning in Ohio. At some point before Barack Obama’s speech at his rally, Mitt Romney’s campaign bus showed up at the Obama’s event location, circling the crowd and honking at the people who were waiting for Obama’s speech. Before Mitt Romney says that he does not recall the incident, here are 10 reasons why Mitt Romney’s campaign bus taunted Obama’s rally.
1) As it is often the case with Mitt Romney, it was Obama’s fault.
2) Mitt Romney wanted to shed the “out of touch” label, so he had tried to touch as many Obama supporters as possible with his moving bus.
3) Based on these junior high school campaign tactics, Mitt Romney must be running for class president now. This formula of success will work as follows: class president minus class = president!
4) That’s what happens when you let Donald Trump drive.
5) Mitt Romney decided that people of Wisconsin sent a clear message that his bus needs to start stalking Obama’s events.
6) He was just giving a ride to his dog strapped to the bus roof.
7) Mitt Romney wanted to show people that he is not just some distant rich guy, and that he, too, rides the bus. He had even put his name on the bus to highlight that fact.
8) We are witnessing the final stage of the evolution of the political debate: from debate to sound bites, then to town hall yelling, and finally, to horn honking.
9) Romney’s campaign bus was circling the rally because it leans so far to the right that it just can’t drive straight.
10) Mitt Romney needs to be tough on China and Iran and wanted to brush up on his bully credentials.
My favorites are:
“That’s what happens when you let Donald Trump drive.”
and
“Romney’s campaign bus was circling the rally because it leans so far to the right that it just can’t drive straight.”
Um…we are voting for our favorites, right? 🙂
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You can vote, it’s a free country. Well, it is for now…
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We’re all free to buy as many votes as we can afford!
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Mittens was dressed up in his troopers uniform and giving everyone tickets for loitering.
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Maybe that will be his plan for next time, but he never left the bus yesterday. I don’t know why, but maybe he felt that the people in the crowd at the rally just weren’t really excited to see him. And that was at Mitt’s own rally.
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The most exciting(?) thing about his rallies is how underwhelming the crowds excitement is.
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Doesn’t RV stand for Republican Vehicle? I presume, like the movie, the RV eventually deposits large quantities of crap on top of Robin Williams.
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Yeah, I can just imagine Mitt Romney in a RV… Driving around in an Armani suit, camping out in the 5-star hotels, sitting by the dollar bill bonfire next to Ted Nugent strumming his guitar…
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Here’s another one: He wanted to show that Americans are entitled to waste gas, and we should keep drilling and invading oil countries to get more.
P.S. Bring back the numbers! (Since you are “list of X,” how about I, II, III, etc?)
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That’s a good one too.
I have added the numbers. I think I need to start a checklist to make sure I don’t forget anything :). I don’t know about Roman numerals though – other than I, V, X, C, and so on, most of these numbers just look too heavy and cumbersome. They belong on commandments and constitutions, not here 🙂
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Flawless post ! Best satire of the week !
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Thank you!
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***HOLLERING*** You’re a hoot, and you’ve captured the sheer “clownery”- if it’s not a word, it is now! Thanks for the laughs. You’re quite clever, X.
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Thank you! I looked up, it is a real word, so thank you for improving my vocabulary. Now I know what I was trying to capture.
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I must thank you for number four!
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