This is my only picture where I don’t look fat….
People say that first step of fighting an addiction is admitting that you have one. Well, after almost 2 years of writing my lists on WordPress, I have to own up to the fact that what I do is I write a blog. I really dislike the word “blog” because it reminds me of words like “bloviate”, “bloat”, “blabbering”, “blob”, “bla-bla-bla”, “blot”, and some other less than pleasant words. So I have prefered the label “e-comedian”, but I cannot remain in denial forever. So thanks to voluntaryfiber who had helped me face the truth by nominating me for One Lovely Blog Award, I am stepping out of my blog denial closet, even if only to grab the award, attach “award-winning” to my blog, and then hide back into the closet forever. If this had been a One Lovely E-Comedian Award, I could have remained in denial indefinitely, but I just wasn’t given the option. As a condition of the award, I am supposed to post 10 facts about me, so here they are:
1) In case you were wondering what List of X means… Well, X is Roman for 10. I don’t know why Romans used X and not 10, and I am sure Romans had no idea what they were doing either. If they knew what they were doing, their empire would probably still be around.
2) So far, no one had asked me about the X. That either means what whoever reads this blog is either an educated person who knows all about Romans and their numbering conventions, or just came here for the humor. I am perfectly fine with either. If you came upon this blog by accident, I will therefore place you into the “educated reader” category. If you are reading this, then, obviously, you can read and use the Internet, so I think that’s fair.
3) Also, “X” means that I prefer to remain anonymous. Yet I still hope that people read my blog, and believe that the posts are good on their own merit.
4) From the above you can rightly deduce that I am an unsocial and attention-starved optimist.
5) I don’t work for David Letterman. No, he had not offered. However, I have made a deal with him: he does not read my blog, and I don’t watch his show. Please note, that as a part of the deal, David Letterman is legally required to deny the very existence of any deal.
6) I am not one of lesser-known X-men either, and I am not remotely interested in joining. I just don’t have adequate superpower to fight evil at a professional level. How could I ever hope to battle against a man who can control and throw sharp metals object with his brain, when my only superpower consists of making and throwing sharp and snarky remarks with my brain? Therefore, I have modified my mission to mocking evil at a professional level.
7) I am not planning to write about myself on this blog. And that’s not because I think that my life is boring. No, I am simply holding out for a professional biographer to write a best-selling hardcover book about me.
8) English is not my first language. I have learned it by reading penis enlargement offers, Viagra ads and letters from Nigeria which I receive in my inbox. This is my official excuse for whenever my grammar is off, so please don’t blame my shoddy proofreading. Besides, my aforementioned learning materials weren’t big on proofreading either.
9) I am a firm believer in recycling. That is why I may occasionally recycle my comment into a tweet or an item on the list. I wish I could recycle my physical garbage as often as I recycle my verbal one. Also, I have every intention of recycling this post into the About Me page.
10) I realize that 10 jokes can be way too much entertainment for 1 post, so I got one of those newfangled Twitter thingies to post one-liners. My name there is @ListofX. Let me be your leader! I mean, feel free to follow me there. Don’t worry. I am not paranoid and I am not afraid to be followed.
And as another condition, I am supposed to nominate few other excellent blogs for the same award. However, since I am assuming that these bloggers are either too popular to care or, like me, are also in denial about their blogging, I will recognize their excellence whether or not they want this award:
Army of Awesome People. Well, “army” might be an exaggeration, but the rest is true.
The Byronic Man: I may have to start reading Lord Byron just to hope to get to his level.
Class Warfare Blog: Probably the best-written political blog I follow.
The Good Greatsby: He might not visit your party, but you can visit his. You’ll have fun, I promise.
GracelessLand: If picture is worth a thousand words, then pictures with text here must be worth even more.
The Last of The Millenniums: A source of inspiration for some of my stories, a Mitt Romney lie detector, and more. Just try to keep up.
NotTheWorstNews: What I do in lists of 10, this blog does in lists of 3, but at least 3 times more often.
OscarBarnes: If the movie Office Space had been a blog, it would probably be this one.
RawfulNews: The only blogger who dared to do a guest post on my blog, and by getting more likes than any other post on my blog, he had managed to make me jealous of my own blog!
Finally, an unnamed great blog that I have forgotten to include, but one that definitely deserves to be here. There are other great blogs that I know and so many other great blogs I don’t know, and this will be the place for all of them.
Ok. Coming out party is over. Back to the e-comedian closet.