10 Reasons Why Trump Administration Is Walking Away From Paris Climate Deal

Instead of walking away from the Paris deal, Donald Trump is riding away from the deal instead, because walking is too taxing and produces too little CO2.

Last week, Donald Trump has announced that the United States will no longer honor the agreement to reduce the greenhouse gas emissions which the world’s countries reached in Paris in 2015. The agreement had aimed to limit the global temperature increase to 1.5 degrees Celsius above the pre-industrial levels, and in his speech, president Trump blasted the deal as both draconian and non-binding, which apparently makes it especially devious. Here are 10 reasons why Trump administration is leaving the agreement.

1) America doesn’t measure temperatures in centigrade, so a global warming of 1.5C wouldn’t apply to us.

2) With Donald Trump being in charge of America’s nuclear weapons, a nuclear winter is more probable than the global warming.

3) Last few days have been unusually cool, so clearly the global warming must already be over.

4) Since Air Force One is burning tons of fuel to ferry Donald Trump back and forth to his Florida resort every week, the US can’t possibly meet any kind of CO2 emission standards.

5) If the United States remains committed to lowering its greenhouse emissions, other countries will enjoy an unfair economic advantage of not being flooded by the rising seas.

6) When Trump made a deal with the Air conditioner maker Carrier to save hundreds of jobs last year, he promised Carrier a much warmer climate to increase the demand for air conditioners.

7) Trump towers are so tall that Donald Trump doesn’t care about any rising sea levels.

8) Trump has promised that he will negotiate a much better climate deal directly with the CO2.

9) China and India are going to cheat on the agreement anyway – and Trump’s “America First” motto means that America should get to do that first.

10) Trump’s Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has calculated that 1.5 degrees is a really small angle and no one would even notice it anyway.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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29 Responses to 10 Reasons Why Trump Administration Is Walking Away From Paris Climate Deal

  1. Gail Kaufman says:

    Number 4 is probably closest to the truth.

    Like

  2. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    … and don’t doubt at all that these may be his ‘actual reasons’… good one! 🌏

    Like

  3. Dr. Rex says:

    Good post, as always! I’ve been missing you! Glad to see you here! 😄

    Like

  4. Jim Wheeler says:

    Another possibility: Leaving the accord may divert attention from the surge in the White House’s electrical use after its gym was converted to tanning beds.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Steve Ruis says:

    #1 and #10 are brilliant! Tip top form!

    Like

  6. Tippy Gnu says:

    So what’s wrong with warm weather? Trump is gonna give us the greatest weather in the world. He and Besty DeVos have it all figured out. We’re gonna get some nice warm weather, while the rest of the world freezes.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Nothing’s wrong with warm weather. Warm weather is beautiful. Just yesterday, it was 48F (that’s 9C for you losers still stuck with the Paris deal) day temperature around here, and today, thanks to the efforts of president Trump, it’s already sunny and 70F.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ankur Mithal says:

    Human developers have been working hard over hundreds of years at raising global temperatures. Just when the prize seems to be in sight, we can’t let bureaucratic agreements like the Paris Accord get in the way. Nothing, just nothing gets in the way of human development. Finally there is an American Prez who gets it.

    Like

  8. Twindaddy says:

    You forgot to mention that he was only elected to serve the citizens of Pittsburgh. I have no idea who’s running the rest of the country, though.

    Like

  9. Well, it’s about time. Months between posts? Do you hate us?

    I know the way around this. We need to think up a way to make it look like Trump came up with the idea for a climate accord. All he cares about is glory and ceremony. If we can give it to him while saving the planet, what’s the harm? I can’t be the only one who thought of this angle, can I?

    Like

  10. Once again you skate that thin edge between funny and scary… nuclear winter… yeah… you are a mad genius.

    Like

  11. aFrankAngle says:

    Amazingly, I had the Celsius idea in my head, then pow … #1! …. #8 is awesome, and #10 got the biggest chuckle.

    Like

  12. mosquitotek says:

    #11. Donald Trump is full of hot air and he hates competition

    Liked by 1 person

  13. uapsnu says:

    The White House Bugged:
    “Donald, honey. You be the Pope and I’ll be a nun.”
    “…Hey, it’s working…it’s working!…”
    “…The Lord is my shepherd…”

    Like

  14. No 10 takes the cake – ignorance at the highest level.

    Like

  15. pegoleg says:

    No 1 – bwahaha! Nice to see your wit on display again.

    Like

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