As the hurricane Harvey devastated Texas, president Donald Trump has sprung into action to help the disaster area – which, by the way, was a total disaster. Not satisfied with tweeting from a golf course, he arrived yesterday to Texas in person to talk about how great were the crowds at his stopovers and how amazing, historic, and unprecedented the storm was, almost like his 2016 election victory. While many people criticized his visit as a useless PR stunt, Donald Trump actually took many concrete actions to speed up the recovery. Here are just 10 of them.
1) Personally oversaw the delivery of the emergency shipment of 20 thousand Confederate general statues.
2) Had his wife Melania wear sharp-tipped stiletto heels to poke holes in the ground as she walks to improve the drainage of the floodwaters.
3) Generously offered to house the victims who lost their homes in his magnificent Trump-brand hotels, starting from just $399 per person per night.
4) Promised to cut all regulations on oil and coal: the nation urgently needs global warming now, because the higher temperatures will make the floodwaters evaporate faster.
5) Refused to meet any actual storm victims because he hates losers and wants to inspire the winning spirit in Texans.
6) When talking about the hurricane and the rescuers trying to deal with the storm’s aftermath, Donald Trump made sure to call out the devastation and flooding caused by the many sides. Many sides! He also pointed out that there were many fine clouds within the storm front.
7) Made lots of speeches about his stunning election victory to make the nation again remember that hurricane Harvey might not be not the most the biggest problem facing the country right now.
8) Demanded additional $200 billion from Congress to build a border wall 10 miles high so that hurricanes can no longer enter the country illegally.
9) Signed an executive order declaring the Harvey response efforts a huge success.
10) Spent barely three hours on the ground in Texas far away from Houston, and promptly headed off to a campaign rally elsewhere.