10 Ways How Donald Trump Is Helping Hurricane Harvey Recovery

“What’s your WiFi password? I need to send some emergency tweets about fake news and the 2016 election. Also, why do they say it was a category 4 hurricane? It was a tremendous, magnificent hurricane. It’s got to be at least a 9.”

As the hurricane Harvey devastated Texas, president Donald Trump has sprung into action to help the disaster area – which, by the way, was a total disaster. Not satisfied with tweeting from a golf course, he arrived yesterday to Texas in person to talk about how great were the crowds at his stopovers and how amazing, historic, and unprecedented the storm was, almost like his 2016 election victory. While many people criticized his visit as a useless PR stunt, Donald Trump actually took many concrete actions to speed up the recovery. Here are just 10 of them.

1) Personally oversaw the delivery of the emergency shipment of 20 thousand Confederate general statues.

2) Had his wife Melania wear sharp-tipped stiletto heels to poke holes in the ground as she walks to improve the drainage of the floodwaters.

3) Generously offered to house the victims who lost their homes in his magnificent Trump-brand hotels, starting from just $399 per person per night.

4) Promised to cut all regulations on oil and coal: the nation urgently needs global warming now, because the higher temperatures will make the floodwaters evaporate faster.

5) Refused to meet any actual storm victims because he hates losers and wants to inspire the winning spirit in Texans.

6) When talking about the hurricane and the rescuers trying to deal with the storm’s aftermath, Donald Trump made sure to call out the devastation and flooding caused by the many sides. Many sides! He also pointed out that there were many fine clouds within the storm front.

7) Made lots of speeches about his stunning election victory to make the nation again remember that hurricane Harvey might not be not the most the biggest problem facing the country right now.

8) Demanded additional $200 billion from Congress to build a border wall 10 miles high so that hurricanes can no longer enter the country illegally.

9) Signed an executive order declaring the Harvey response efforts a huge success.

10) Spent barely three hours on the ground in Texas far away from Houston, and promptly headed off to a campaign rally elsewhere.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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34 Responses to 10 Ways How Donald Trump Is Helping Hurricane Harvey Recovery

  1. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    As always, these points are perfectly on target!! 🎯

    Like

  2. Steve Ruis says:

    Brilliant as usual, but did you have an intense desire to take a bath after wading into Trumpland?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Elyse says:

    So good to see you — and in Trump-stomping form!

    Like

  4. Tippy Gnu says:

    He also asked Russia for aid in helping him to drain the swamp, and promised to build a hotel in Moscow in exchange for their help at getting rid of Harvey.

    Like

  5. Ankur Mithal says:

    Storming return to top blogging form. Wonder he did not claim unleashing Harvey was his strategy for keeping out Mexicans; by making the US a place where nobody wants to come 😦

    Like

  6. In light of all the death and destruction it seems petty to criticize the First Lady for what she wore. But that’s never stopped me before. It’s not just the shoes. Doesn’t it seem like she put a lot of time and effort into putting that outfit together? With the popped collar and all? Nice facebook shares, pal. Deserved.

    Are you giving us one post per season? Is that all we’re entitled to? Fail.

    Like

    • Kathleen Lovell says:

      If he tweeted once a year that would be too much. His best help for America is to resign. #45– go away!! He’s done nothing but destroy our country. He’s known for his tweets. That’s all. We The People need him impeached!!

      Like

    • Jim Wheeler says:

      @ Exile on Pain Street,

      . . . it seems petty to criticize the First Lady for what she wore.

      Au contraire, IMO. But yes, she obviously took great pains in deciding what to wear to a wet disaster. Not just the stilettos but the bomber jacket, the floppy pants and the Ray-Bans, all of it. I wondered what Melania would do as FLOTUS and now we know, she’s setting fashion trends for history. What next? Depends on fate, but I know she’ll be ready. Garb for famine? Pestilence? A bombing? Volcano eruption? (Can’t wait for that one.) Alien arrival (no, not those. ET’s!)

      Like

  7. Amaya says:

    Love number 6! Many fine clouds, indeed.

    Like

  8. pegoleg says:

    You’re onto something with # 8. To the walls! To the walls!

    Like

  9. Twindaddy says:

    Agreed. We need those walls and The Weather Channel will pay them!

    Like

  10. I have missed your moronic… I mean, uh, ironic… or is it iconic… wit?

    Like

  11. Who can blame you for taking a break? Making fun of Trump can get exhausting cause while most presidents just do seriously stupid things every once in a while, he does them every single day. Even the late show comedians have been spacing each other out with breaks just to save sanity. Also there is the knowledge that most of your jokes aren’t exaggerations. Sad.

    Like

  12. rossmurray1 says:

    You should start a blog.

    Like

  13. In hindsight, he probably arranged for Irma to follow so that people would stop talking about Harvey – just like Harvey replaced Russia as the news media’s darling!

    Like

  14. Pingback: Orca’s Sorta Like A Book Club – A LITTLE LEFT OF CENTER

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