10 Very Special Valentine’s Day Cards

Today is Valentine’s day, the official day of love, and almost everyone sends or receives a Valentine’s day card. And by everyone, I do mean everyone – because no one is immune to love. So I thought it would be great idea to show you the Valentine’s cards from the people and organizations that you wouldn’t normally expect to send Valentine’s Day cards. Here are 10 of these cards.

gays measles

Patriots

Russia

Anthem

Swift

 

Snow

 

 

 

Kim

 

 

 

FoxNSA

All cards created with the help of punchbowl.com.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you!

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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77 Responses to 10 Very Special Valentine’s Day Cards

  1. Elyse says:

    Hey! I got one like that from Anthem!

    Great cards, X. Poor Boston.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. pmahaney says:

    Priceless cards, so much so that I feel the love. Great post, as always.

    Like

  3. Jim Wheeler says:

    Valentine # 11?

    From: Brian Williams
    To: NBC News

    Can it be that it was all so simple then?
    Or has time re-written every line?
    If we had the chance to do it all again
    Tell me, would we? Could we?
    Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
    What’s too common to remember
    We simply choose to forget
    So it’s the danger
    We will remember
    Whenever we remember…
    The way we were.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Vagina says:

    I agree with all of them but I would like to add in on the Kim Kardashian one, …Kanye West….because Kanye Loves kanye…and Kim loves Kim, …which makes them perfect for each other! …

    Liked by 1 person

  5. john zande says:

    Saw a great one today, from Jesus

    Love me

    Or BURN!

    Like

  6. Paul says:

    Hilarious X! You have outdone yourself. Very innovative use of V.D. card program

    Like

  7. Carrie Rubin says:

    Brilliant! Loved this. As someone who doesn’t give Valentine’s Day cards, it made me smile. Kind of a thumbing of the nose to the Hallmark holiday.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Yeah, I’m also in the “what’s wrong with any other day?” camp. You get cheaper flowers, restaurants that aren’t standing room only, and most of the year, warm enough to do fun stuff outside.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sherry says:

    an excellent list.

    Like

  9. Linda Vernon says:

    Ha ha! Satisfyingly clever! Next year you’ll have to do the candy messages.

    Like

  10. Blogdramedy says:

    If I ran a greeting card company, I’d hire you to write copy.

    Like

  11. mcnorman says:

    Happy Valentines Day X. I hope your day is absolutely beautiful!!!!

    Like

  12. I love the measles and Boston snow. Very clever stuff.

    Like

  13. I can’t pick a favorite!!

    Like

  14. I won’t pick a favorite, these are perfection.

    Like

  15. The Hook says:

    There are no words… that’s how brilliant this post is, X.

    Like

  16. Gibber says:

    So funny! Kim also loves her ass..

    Like

  17. draliman says:

    The Kim K one make me laugh 🙂

    Like

  18. The Kim K card is proof that she’s into asses. That and her choice of hubbies.

    Like

  19. I thought these were funny until I realized how much. I have in common with Kim Kardashian

    Like

  20. Pingback: Words and Language: Other things too | Sky Dancing

  21. Those are absolutely the best cards ever. WHY are you not working for Hallmark by now? Speaking of loving gestures of romance, I have a post tomorrow about the movie that premiered, naturally, on Valentine’s Day – 50 Shades of Smut staring Kim Kardashian who might actually have a role in it as random naked person. I wonder how many of the Religious Right were there . . .

    P.S. I was not.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I was hoping you had something to say about that movie. You already had so many posts about the books, omitting the movie just wouldn’t seem right.
      I think it’s a good thing that I don’t work at Hallmark, otherwise this post would cost you 40 bucks or so, although that would include some more or less mismatched envelopes.

      Like

  22. Amaya says:

    Love these! My sister and I make up greeting cards all of the time, based on our lives. My favorite so far, which my son actually said to my husband: “Happy 40th birthday, dad. You are still a badass…except for the moobs.” You should see our illustration for that one.

    Like

  23. pegoleg says:

    Darn! Valentines Day is over and I didn’t get any of these cards, just one from my insurance agent. That doesn’t make me pathetic, does it? Does it?
    (ps – brilliant work, as usual!)

    Like

    • List of X says:

      No, it doesn’t make you pathetic. I think it kind of makes the insurance agent pathetic if they have to resort to sending you Valentine’s day cards instead of giving you a discount.

      Like

  24. No one is immune to sex. Love seems to be a different story.

    Dude, these are fantastic. You seem to have an inexhaustible supply of clever bon mots.

    @Elyse: Poor Boston! They just cheated their way to a Super Bowl! Screw Boston. Meteorological, cosmic payback.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I’m not a Pats fan, but I’m pretty sure that Pats fans probably think that some extra snow is a small price to pay for a Superbowl win. But it’s interesting that all these snowstorms started just after the Deflategate game, with 1.5 times the annual average snowfall in just three weeks, so it does look like cosmic payback.
      Of course, the most effective form of payback would have been Pats losing the Superbowl either in a blowout, or in an embarrassingly accidental last-second upset (like the way they won), so this cosmic payback thing just hasn’t been thought through really well.

      Like

  25. Oh, my freaking gawd, best post EVER.

    I was having a crappy day (week) but this was better than four beers. I tried the four beers yesterday. This was better.

    “You are so warm and soft, I love being near you. I feel so close to you. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I’ll stick by you forever.

    –Cellulite

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Aw, thank you.
      But I think your comparison of this post to four beers is not fair. After all, this post has 10 cards, so shouldn’t you be comparing it to ten beers?
      If you’re not happy with all this unwelcome attention from cellulite, have you tried getting a restraining order against it?

      Like

      • Ha, ha–actually, I don’t drink anymore. I just use alcohol as a comedic frame of reference because so many understand it. It still works…for laughs.

        And cellulite has always treated me well. Climbing mountains and living in cold climes, my ass was always that last to feel the icy effects. My hands, on the other hand….

        Like

  26. That’s some good stuff!

    Like

  27. Trent Lewin says:

    Hee hee… it’s funny because it hurts.

    Like

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