The 2012 Republican National Convention had formally began on Monday in Tampa, Florida. The convention schedule had been cut short due to the tropical storm Isaac, but the convention is expected to begin in full force on Tuesday. Here are 10 things we should expect from the Republican Party convention.
1) The GOP delegates will try to wrap up the process of Mitt Romney’s nomination as the official party candidate as soon as possible, so that they have to fake the excitement about Romney for one day less.
2) Top Republican expert on rape Todd Akin will try to give a legitimate speech, while the party would try to find the ways to shut this thing down.
3) Since the convention program had been cut short, Paul Ryan will distribute GOP Convention Vouchers instead of the actual speaking slots.
4) Sara Palin, who was not invited to Tampa, will try to sneak into the convention center dressed as a mama grizzly.
5) Reince Preibus, the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, will blame Barack Obama for the hurricane and extreme partisanship: while half the country is suffering from drought, Barack Obama chose to direct a tropical storm on GOP convention.
6) Mitt Romney will give a program speech on Obamacare titled: “Mr. President, I did build that!”
7) The GOP will make abortion ban a centerpiece of the party program and will officially ban the party members from discussing the abortion ban in public.
8) 99% of delegates at the convention will mention at least one of the following words in their speech: “Reagan”, “freedom”, or “tax cuts”.
9) 99% of the delegates at the convention will not mention any of the following words in their speeches: “bin Laden”, “legitimate”, or “tax returns”.
10) The convention will features a large clock showing the current national debt. The clock will not show which percentage of the debt had been voted for by the Republican majority and/or signed by a Republican president.