10 Fun Facts About The Republican Vice-Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan

Official portrait of Congressman .

Official portrait of Congressman . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1) Paul Ryan is hailed as an intellectual leader of the Republican Party, because ability to lie is considered to be one of the clearest indicators of an advanced intellect.

2) Although Paul Ryan does not have a Super PAC, he is believed to have super six-pack.

3) According to one of the lesser known provisions of Paul Ryan’s Medicare voucher plan, you will be exempt from Medicare changes if you vote for Romney.

4) Paul Ryan once said in an interview that he ran a marathon in under 3 hours, when it actually took him just over 4 hours. But that was not a lie. Paul just cut his marathon time by 30% because he loves cutting things.

5) Unlike other Vice Presidents, Paul Ryan would not be within a heartbeat to a presidency, because that would require Mitt Romney to have a heart.

6) When Paul Ryan was a boy, he once cut down a cherry tree, and then he honestly said that Abe Lincoln did it. But Paul’s dad still guessed it was Paul, because he knew how much Paul loves cutting things.

7) Paul Ryan has proposed a tax plan which would be “revenue-neutral”. This means that the government will receive exactly the same amount from taxes, some people will get to keep more income, while others get to keep less. Therefore, Paul Ryan is an advocate of wealth redistribution.

8) Paul Ryan has worked in the government for his entire adult life and knows exactly what needs to be done in the government so that nothing gets done.

9) Paul Ryan has a reputation of a wonk among his party.  To earn this reputation, one has to do three things: a) tell people exactly how much lower their taxes will be, b) tell people it will somehow be paid for; and c) look good shirtless.  The last part demonstrates his commitment to wonking out daily.

10) If any of the above facts don’t seem truthful to you, please note that they have been provided by Paul Ryan.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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6 Responses to 10 Fun Facts About The Republican Vice-Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan

  1. danielle says:

    i agree with you paul ryan i want you to win me and my family like u soo much way to go mitt romey

    Like

    • List of X says:

      As a comedian, I love Paul Ryan too, if that’s what your comment meant, but it’s kind of unclear without the punctuation. Perhaps I could add some punctuation…
      “I agree with you. Paul Ryan?!?! I want YOU to win! Me and my family like u! So… Much way to go Mitt Romney.”

      Like

  2. I like your explanation of how Ryan managed to cut his marathon time from 4 to 3 hours. That’s the response he should have given to the media.

    Like

  3. mommylisa says:

    OMG – love that I found this. Excellent work.

    Like

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