The day, which millions of people have come to associate with unspeakable evils, is fast
approaching. Of course, I am referring to the Election Day. And in just a few days Halloween will provide a brief but welcome distraction from politics. However, in case you have been obsessing so much about which candidate is better qualified to continue the policies of George W. Bush’ administration, that you totally forgot about that Halloween party you were invited to attend, here are 10 Halloween outfits you can quickly and easily make at home without having to stop obsessing about politics.
1) “A Liberal Slut”: A casual dress, a vial of contraceptive.
2) “A Communist”: A casual dress, Obama 2012 pin.
3) “An Undecided Voter”: A casual dress, a blindfold, earplugs.
4) “Mitt Romney On A Hike”: A casual dress (but a tuxedo is preferable), a stuffed toy dog tied to the back. Optional accessories: binders full of women, stack of pink slips, flip flops.
5) “Obamacare”: A skimpiest outfit possible, just enough to cover your pre-existing conditions. Also, make sure it
also covers all your kids under 26 years old.
6) “A Debate moderator”: A casual dress, microphone. Make sure to end each phrase with “You have two minutes”. As in “Hey, how have you’ve been? You have two minutes”, “Are you going to be long the bathroom? You have two minutes”. When you see two people talk to each other too long, approach and interrupt them.
7) “Mitt Romney’s Tax Plan”: A long black or gray coat over naked body. If asked what’s inside, open the coat to reveal the “$5 Trillion I.O.U.” attached in the strategic area.
8) “Joe Biden In Debate Preparation Mode”: A formal suit, a laughing gas inhaler, and a dictionary of Irish derogatory terms.
9) “Donald Trump’s wife (with husband)”: casual dress, a balloon filled with hot air.
10) “47% Percenter” (kids version). A casual dress. Send your kids to knock on your neighbors’ doors demanding candy handouts. This outfit requires no additional props, but if you still have your daughter’s Princess outfit from last year, it can be easily converted into “The Welfare Princess” outfit.
Please feel free to suggest your Halloween costume.
Fabulous! You are rapidly approaching the status of National Treasure!” Keep up the good work!