The end of the world is near! Seriously, how could the world not be ending? Mayan calendar predicted end of the world on December 21, 2012, the economy is about to go over the fiscal cliff, Barack Obama was re-elected to destroy America and freedom, Greece is close to burying the European Union under its debt, and Twinkies are no more. It’s clear that human civilization is doomed, but here are 10 ways you can prepare yourself and your family to survive after the civilization collapses.
1) Buy and store plenty of food. The stench of spoiled food will keep away any intruders.
2) Make sure your food cache has plenty of non-perishable food as well. That way, any intruders courageous enough to brave the stench will not leave unrewarded.
3) Store plenty of duct tape and rope. Those intruders will need something to tie you down with while they are stealing your food.
4) Because food will be scarce, you must train yourself to eat everything. Your ultimate goal is to be able to eat garbage. A good place to begin your training is your nearest McDonald’s.
5) Dig an underground shelter. However, make sure to call the municipal utilities before you dig, so that you don’t accidentally cut the cable that supplies the electricity and Internet to the entire North America. It is good to be prepared for the collapse of civilization, but you don’t want to be known as the one who caused it.
6) Plug the bathtub and fill it with water. Sure, you will not be able to take a shower until the eventual end of the world and soon will smell horribly, but then you will be the only clean one after the the end of the world. Also, you will be able to recognize others who are following the same survival technique, and you will know where to find duct tape and food.
7) Teach self-defense and archery to your children. There is a good training video out on DVD called Hunger Games. Make sure you teach them well, but not too well, because one day they may turn against you.
8) Learn how to beg. Start practicing today. Just 20 minutes a day three times a week will sharpen that absolutely necessary skill, so that when the end comes, you will be better positioned to
compete beg for the scarce resources.
9) Pay off all your debts, starting with ones with the highest balances. After all, you don’t want your creditors to find themselves without your money in case of the economic collapse.
10) Learn to survive in the wilderness – knowing which berries and mushrooms are edible and which are poisonous is very useful. On the other hand, if you eat a poisonous mushroom by accident, you won’t have to worry about surviving after the end of the world.
Don’t hesitate to share your tips. Of course, it is perfectly understandable if you don’t want to do that, because keeping your survival plans from others greatly improves your own survival chances.