10 Highlights Of George W. Bush Presidential Library

President George W. Bush, under the “Mission Accomplished” banner during the ceremony of breaking ground for the Presidential Library. (Image source: thepoliticalzealot.com)

President George W. Bush, under the “Mission Accomplished” banner during the ceremony of breaking ground for the Presidential Library. (Image source: thepoliticalzealot.com)

This Thursday in Dallas, the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum is scheduled to hold a dedication ceremony, and will open to the public on May 1st. A Presidential Library, or, as President Bush refers to it, “the lie-berry”, is a traditional project of all recent presidents, and its purpose is to preserve the president’s legacy for the future generations. Here are 10 of the highlights of the George W. Bush Presidential Library exhibition that visitors definitely shouldn’t miss.

1)  An exhibit “Enemies of the State”, featuring photos of Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and the pretzel on which George W. Bush choked early in his first term.

2)  An empty room, set aside to display the weapons of mass destruction built by Saddam Hussein’s regime in Iraq, and which should be found any day now.

3)  An exhibit showcasing the George Bush’s gratitude to the voters who elected him president, namely, Supreme Court Justices Kennedy, O’Connor, Renquist, Scalia, and Thomas.

4)  At 1020 pages, the longest book in the library is a log of George W. Bush’s presidential vacations.

5)  An interactive table of conflicts in the Middle East. The visitors will be able to start their own conflict in a Middle Eastern country of their choice, just like the President did.

6)  The official results of 2000 Florida recount, as well as the actual results of 2000 Florida recount.

7)  The book “The Art of Puppeteering” by Dick Cheney, and George W. Bush’s coloring books on foreign policy.

8)  Exhibit tags, disclosing that approximately 30% of the collection had to be loaned from China.

9)  A bottom of the barrel, with multiple scratches made by President’s approval rating.

10)  Regular security sweeps of the premises to preserve George W. Bush’s “No Child Left Behind” legacy.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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95 Responses to 10 Highlights Of George W. Bush Presidential Library

  1. Ankur Mithal says:

    And, of course, the dedication of the new lie-berry is towards reduction of IQ levels in the whole world and using shock and awe tactics to eliminate what cannot be dumbed down

    Like

  2. bernasvibe says:

    As usual you’re spot ON with this one X..My faves? ALL of them..Oooo don’t get me revved UP and started..But #2. Big exclamation mark! #4. Ok?!?? #5..Nailed IT. Once again you’ve done an outstanding job. You’re so good at this; so keep it coming..

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Thank you! In #5 I’ve mentioned an actual exhibit in the Bush’s library, by the way. That’s the problem with my jokes – some of them are actually true 🙂

      Like

      • bernasvibe says:

        Creative writing..gotta love it! Great deal of the wild /seemingly unreal/shocking doesn’t even have to be made up..I could write a book about some of the things I’ve seen/heard/experienced..Matter of fact that is on to-do list..Soon. In the meantime I’m having a ball reading my new W.P. friends fantastic work

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        • List of X says:

          Oh yeah, some of the most shocking and amazing stuff is real.
          But don’t put off that book – WP can suck you in so quickly, you won’t have time to sleep, much less write a book 🙂

          Like

          • bernasvibe says:

            Yep, I”ve already had to drop back from attempting the DP post-a-day challenges..So I could sleep & tend to other obligations..W.P. is highly addictive..My fave reading list here has grown to a point that I need to just say ALL

            Like

            • List of X says:

              It sounds like your blog reading list has grown to a point that you can’t even finish the comment. 🙂 unless “ALL” is an acronym for something.

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              • bernasvibe says:

                LOL..No silly..”all” just meant maybe instead of listing my fave reading blog sites; my list should read ALL of the blogs on W.P. without listing them by name. It just keeps growing longer and longer..I choose the follow option as a way to bookmark them. Thats how many good ones I find when I’m browsing..Honestly? I don’t have enough free time in a week to get to all of them..So I hit my faves first(and the reader alerts are how I know a new post is there)

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                • List of X says:

                  Oh, I am sorry for not understanding what you meant. I guess my blog-related sleep deprivation is really taking a toll on my reading comprehension skills. At this point I follow about 120 blogs, and also have serious problems with keeping up.

                  Like

                  • bernasvibe says:

                    No worries nor sorries necessary. I can relate all too well; especially at this very moment. I’m writing this with 1 eye closed and the other eye is a slit..Been a busy, busy , busy but very fun weekend. Pack so much into a weekend & then I find myself hurrying UP at the end of weekends..trying to save a little time to just rest…

                    WOW@120..you’ve got me beat. But you know what? I’m very glad that even with all of those that you follow; you manage to peek at mine. And now that I know you’re juggling that many/your busy work schedule/plus living I’m even more humbled that you do…I know I’m getting older when at quarter-to-nine after a busy weekend..I’m trying to cram rest of my weekend into those 15 mins to have my fanny in bed by 9 pm tonight. 9 pm! Can you imagine???Backintheday at 9 pm I was just getting started…nevertheless I refuse to get OLD. Ever. Just older…Is it 9 yet?

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                    • List of X says:

                      I can’t imagine going to bed at 9pm. On some weekdays, I haven’t even left my office by 9pm 🙂 Luckily, I’m a night owl, so I do about half of my blogging/commenting after midnight, and I’m on with that. It’s getting up at 7 part that bothers me 🙂

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                    • bernasvibe says:

                      Ahhhhh a true night owl. I try to hang on the weekends..Key word there is try , ha! But as long as I’m moving, like dancing, or standing, I’m cool….once I sit though? Bam! I am out like a light..I’m a natural morning person and often awake by 430..without an alarm clock..Just UP and ready to do a million things before I even leave work..but once I sit at the end of the day? I know I am in need of catching up on my rest; when it gets to a point I can dose off between bite fulls of dinner..Ugh! That never used to happen backintheday..

                      Like

  3. nikgee says:

    lol. I really got a chuckle out of this. I really like your style.

    Like

  4. Sadly, it will take Dubbya several trips to the Lie-Berry before he finally succeeds on getting in. The key to his entrance will be his reading and comprehending the sign on the door which says “Pull”.

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  5. john zande says:

    In a thousand years we’re still going to be laughing at this baboon.

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  6. Too funny. Love the ‘lie-berry’.

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  7. rossmurray1 says:

    I had to pause a #10 and then… brilliant! Great stuff. No love for Dubya.

    Like

  8. mhasegawa says:

    This is both very funny and very sad both because everything you write is true.

    Like

  9. A comedian once said Bush had a new biography out – a pop-up book. I love it when Republicans gripe about Obama being “too smooth” a speaker. Um, you mean he uses complete sentences and understands subject-verb agreement?

    This list is excellent. Still snorting over the coloring books. I’m sure the most challenging books in the library would be Dr. Seuss, except he still wouldn’t get the underlying message. WHY does he talk to the trees? WHY wasn’t it okay for the sneetches with stars to have all the power? He might like Hop on Pop, though.

    Like

  10. Elyse says:

    Do you think they’ll put Condi on display so we don’t have to listen to her telling us all how “they” might have stopped the Boston Marathon Bombing?

    Like

  11. Speaker7 says:

    I think they missed the perfect opportunity to have a room completely submerged in water and debris to symbolize the administration’s handling of Hurricane Katrina.

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  12. mairedubhtx says:

    Brilliant! There should probably be some shrine to the incompetency Mr. Bush showed during Hurricane Katrina, though. That was one of his darkest times. He also had some rather unstellar times as Governor of Texas. It’s telling that he’s selected his wife’s alma mater, SMU, as his lie-berry site rather than his own alma mater. His own school record was so spotty at best he’s had to adopt a school, as his father did with Texas A&M. Very strange indeed, this adopting of schools.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Thank you! Bush went to Yale, if I’m not mistaken, and I doubt that Yale was eager to adopt the Presidential lie-berry of arguably the worst president ever. And it’s in a rather liberal Connecticut, too.
      Texas, though, is a different matter – after all, your state consistently voted for Bush as governor and then as president, so it’s only fair that it gets his baseball collection and second-hand Bush family clothes that Bush calls “museum”.

      Like

      • mairedubhtx says:

        How true. The Bushes adopted Texas schools in their adopted state. We cain’t seem to get rid of them. But as Barbara B said, the country has had enough Bushes. Amen to that.

        Like

  13. Okay, so, I’ve been putting together a post on his lie-berry as well, so please don’t scream “PLAGIARISM!” at me when it goes up. I’m not saying I won’t plagiarize you, because this is better than what I was coming up with, I’m just saying please don’t accuse me of it.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      You have my permission to plagiarize me, because I’d love to read your take on this momentous event. That is, if you were asking for my permission rather than just asking me to stop screaming “PLAGIARISM” as I’m doing now, preemptively.
      Or I could just scream “PLAGIARISM” without naming any names, which I think is a very reasonable compromise.

      Like

  14. Sherry says:

    George Bush’s “library” makes as much sense as Ken Ham’s “creation museum”. I can’t wrap my head around either.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I think it’s only because it’s expected of a former president to build a library. But maybe, just maybe, now that Bush has a library, he’ll finally read some good books.

      Like

  15. If only that pretzel had succeeded….
    Great!

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  16. One that should have made the list- the 911 copies of the childrens book “The Pet Goat”

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  17. Truer words were never spoken by any letter of the alphabet.

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  18. Living in Dallas I cannot wait to got the Bushie outhouse and play ‘what if’.

    This was, by the way brilliant

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  19. How about a room for the words he invented, like “strategery” and “nookler”? I hope I’m spelling them correcterally.

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  20. Ape No. 1 says:

    “Lie-berry”

    Love it X.

    Like

  21. The Hook says:

    Why hasn’t someone flooded Bush’s library?
    That would be karma at work…

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  22. Pingback: 8 Things You Won’t See at the George W. Bush Presidential Library | The Fifth Column

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  25. dustandsoul says:

    Hello dear! I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. You probably already have it a billion times over, but you can read more here if you’re interested in participating, yada yada: http://dustandsoul.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/7-facts-15-bloggers/

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  26. Pingback: Do you love Bush?

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