10 Reasons The Budget Deficit Is Declining

The graph of macro-economically accurate representation of the exploding deficits (Source: my amazing MS Paint skills)

A macroeconomically accurate budget deficit projection demonstrating how exactly the deficit will explode. (Source: my awesome MS Paint skills)

Did you know that while everyone is screaming how the United States budget deficit is going up, it has actually dropped? According to a CNN story, the budget deficit for the 2013 financial year is expected to be 40% less compared to last year, and 55% less than in 2009.  Obviously, this story isn’t getting enough attention, because Republicans would rather not acknowledge the fact that our annual deficits are decreasing, and Democrats prefer not to discuss the fact that this year’s deficit will still be larger than the entire GDP of Switzerland.  Good thing I’m an Independent, so nothing stops me from suggesting 10 reasons why the deficit has dropped.

1)  The falling deficit is a sign that the whole country is in decline.

2)  Due to the sequester, the Congressional Budget Office staffers tasked with calculating the deficit have been laid off before they finished their calculations.

3)  Someone must have turned the actual deficit graph upside down.

4)  In the heat of the 2012 presidential race, Mitt Romney accidentally paid taxes on his full 2012 income.

5)  Scrounging for change in the Oval Office couches unexpectedly brought in some serious cash. In retrospect, that shouldn’t have been so unexpected, considering how many wealthy donors visit the White House.

6)  Unemployment benefits stopped for millions of people.  So instead of taking the taxpayers’ money, the unemployed were forced to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, if only to cook and eat said bootstraps.

7)  Government spending has gone so far out of control, that the government isn’t even able to increase it fast enough.

8)  Since the United States is on the path to becoming another Greece, it’s only appropriate that the US deficit is should be on the path to become more like Greece’ deficit of $25 Billion.

9)  As a sign of friendship with our Northern neighbor, this year’s budget deficit was nominated in Canadian dollars.

10)  This is a sign of a huge scientific conspiracy like the global warming: the world’s mathematicians have conspired to successfully trick everyone into believing that 1.1 Trillion is actually bigger than 600 billion. If you don’t believe it’s a conspiracy, think about this: have you actually seen Pythagoras’ birth certificate?

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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48 Responses to 10 Reasons The Budget Deficit Is Declining

  1. Ankur Mithal says:

    Budgetary deficit increasing every year to fund government largesse to the already rich, people living on borrowed money in the hope of an ever-receding, never to materialise bright future, increasing corporate salaries while waiting for a collapse and government bailout to pay annual bonuses; we will look back on these times with nostalgia.

    Like

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    Yay for being Independent! This list is hilarious and probably true, to some extent.

    Like

  3. Maybe the deficit got so big it actually circled back around. Like it’s lapping itself.

    And it is liberating to be independent, isn’t it? You don’t feel this need to defend your party, even when you know they’re being idiots?

    Like

  4. Sherry says:

    well done as usual.

    Like

  5. Vagina says:

    I think I read somewhere that Detroit filed bankruptcy today. It was in passing and I have not read up on it…but I would say that is a clear sign of deficit issues. And I love your list….

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    • List of X says:

      I will have to look that up about Detroit – but I know they were on the brink of bankruptcy for the last few years. But it’s harder for cities because they can’t print their own money like the Feds.

      Like

    • List of X says:

      And by the way, you are correct – the city did file yesterday, and today a local judge rejected the filing as unconstitutional.

      Like

      • Vagina says:

        Go ‘Murica.’ ~ Well….at least I still have my neighbors who turned their pick up truck into a pool and are now floating in it….with tire tubes….O.O…Maybe the stores should start selling alcohol on Sundays around here…

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  6. ooohhh… can we spend the extra money that isn’t really extra money but just a little less money we owe people we can’t afford to pay back on buying some cool new battleships? Can we, can we huh???

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  7. Wait, what??

    I finally make it over here and there’s . . . math?!?!?!

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    • List of X says:

      There are numbers 1 through 10 on every post of this blog, so some trace amounts of math are always present. But usually my math doesn’t go all the way up to trillions.

      Like

  8. Ape No. 1 says:

    Pythagoras was born in Hawaii but prior to it being included as an official state of the US so it is a grey area.

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  9. Pingback: 10 Reasons The Budget Deficit Is Declining | List of X | Election News Tweets

  10. I think it might be the cancellation of all those extra defense contracts that weren’t really doing anything but designing better muskets, or was that muskrats?

    Wonderful to be Independent.

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  11. bernasvibe says:

    For some odd reason I’m less concerned about the budget deficit; than I am about quality of life here in our country. Why? What if the deficit were fixed and quality of life was still free-falling fast enough to get a nose bleed? As it was pre-President Obama..Houses are finally almost back to market price(and out here rising above that; again; due to the large number of investors who swept up houses by the fist full because of ultra-low prices) Folks are beginning to become employed again(only a couple years ago I had at any given time at least 3 – 4 people I knew, in lucrative positions , who were fruitlessly job hunting..) And spending is on the rise; again; hopefully! people aren’t spending beyond their means; again!…From the looks of it? Until times get better or suitable candidates appear in other parties; I’ll be a registered member of the party I’m currently a member of….

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I am not one of those people who thinks that the deficit is one of the country’s biggest problems. It will be, eventually, if it stays as high – except it’s projected to drop even further. But either way, it’s a problem far in the future, because there isn’t any other actor in the world who could sell $15 trillion of absolutely safe investments to replace the US debt. But the unemployment is a problem today, infrastructure is a problem today, poverty and wealth inequality is a problem today, and so on, and so on. This could have been improving much faster if not for those who scream that taxes for the rich are too high (which is translated for us as “deficit is too high”).

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      • bernasvibe says:

        It IS the rich that have been screaming about their taxes being too high…It IS those same folks who have fought tooth & nail; to fight tooth & nail against President Obama. About any & everything! Regardless of whether folks need jobs/regardless of whether folks have lost homes they’d live in forever/regardless of whether their constituents best interests could’ve been met by something the Obama admin proposed…I tell you one thing; IF I were voter that voted them INto office? Pfft, it would be a cold day in Las Vegas before they got my vote again…Alot more could’ve & should’ve been improving faster . I’ve personally dabbled in politics for a quick minute & I learned that that is a “ballgame” ; that I do NOT want to know how to play…Which is why I got out after a quick minute..But having said that & having lived 50 yrs in our country; I’ve never seen a more progressive administration. And thats with the heavy resistance! I don’t think folks truly know all that has been accomplished…One of my biggest beefs with this administration? That they’ve not made sure the public knew all they’ve done! You really have to dig for it…and folks have gotten too lazy or don’t have the time to do the research.

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        • List of X says:

          For those people who are duped into voting the Republicans into the office and then don’t see any promised improvement in their economic conditions, the GOP has plenty of excuses why their policies fail to create jobs or improve the economy: it’s the illegal immigrants’, or gays’, or terrorists’, or welfare recipients’, or feminists’, or unions’, or teachers’, or liberals’ fault, so in the next election the voters have to vote Republicans once again to defeat these enemies of freedom and prosperity and let Republicans work their magic. Because the GOP propaganda machine is better funded than the left wing media, this can go on for many election cycles. Eventually, the economy happens to improve while a Republican president is in the office, and then the Republican party will use that as a proof that their ideas work (see Reagan, Ronald) while ignoring any subsequent Republican presidents whose implementation of those same ideas left the economy in the toilet (Bush I, Bush II).
          You know, it can get really cold in Las Vegas… This is from just a month after the 2008 election: http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/US/weather/12/18/vegas.snow/art.vegas.irpt.jpg

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          • bernasvibe says:

            Lol, lol! I know it can get cold in Vegas..It is high desert; lived close enough(from my Cali location only a 4 hour drive & an hour flight..) to have been there many times…Had awesome times there; and what happens in Vegas? Really does stay in Vegas..I was however hoping no one else would know it gets cold there..But can’t pull one over on you. Virtual hi 5! ^^

            Like

            • List of X says:

              I’ve never been to Vegas myself – but planned on going there enough times to hear that it can get really cold there 🙂 so at least their weather info doesn’t really stay in Vegas.

              Like

              • bernasvibe says:

                Lolllll Just pleaseeeee don’t go to Vegas from MidJune through end of August. Please & if you do don’t say I didn’t warn you. Its hotter than HELL there those months..Not even folks that live in Vegas want to be there during those months..Not too long ago folks were dying in the temps of 128. You couldn’t pay me enough to go there during those months..And let me know when you go..I’ll give you valuable tips on where to eat(OMG they’ve got awesome food there) and places to stay/see

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  12. The Hook says:

    Some people simply scream to fill the void of silence that dominates their empty lives.

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  13. Paul says:

    This was purely awesomesauce! Mind if I reblog?

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  14. Paul says:

    Reblogged this on Dance Team Patrick and commented:
    Want to read some more stark-raving hilarious lists? Check out List of X’s blog on WordPress.

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  15. gesvol says:

    After learning that he accidentally paid taxes on all of his 2012 income, Romney fired his tax accountant. It was a good day for Mitt Romney.

    Like

  16. Michael Sadowski says:

    Nice list. I didn’t know the deficit was decreasing; I suspect someone’s fudging some numbers somewhere to make it look like it’s decreasing. Say X? Where do you live that you can’t buy alcohol on Sundays? Or is that a secret you can’t/won’t divulge?

    Like

  17. EagleAye says:

    Awesome. #10 is easily my favorite. After tricking us into thinking Global Warming is true, the most argumentative/disagreeable people in the world – scientists, have formed a world-wide conspiracy, incredibly agreeing, to trick us into thinking the deficit is diminishing. Yup, even conspiracy theorists should think this one is a little out there. Great stuff, man.

    Like

  18. silver price says:

    Suppose you spend more money this month than your income. This situation is called a “budget deficit”. So you borrow (ie; use your credit card). The amount you borrowed (and now owe) is called your debt. You have to pay interest on your debt. If next month you spend more than your income, another deficit, you must borrow some more, and you’ll still have to pay the interest on your debt (now larger). If you have a deficit every month, you keep borrowing and your debt grows. Soon the interest payment on your loan is bigger than any other item in your budget. Eventually, all you can do is pay the interest payment, and you don’t have any money left over for anything else. This situation is known as bankruptcy .

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  19. Anonymous says:

    If Greeks trojaned their eurobudgets, do you trust their food hygiene, quisling lawyers, meal moth festivals or olive witch doctors? Divest Greece Bonds!

    Like

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    Like

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