Did you know that while everyone is screaming how the United States budget deficit is going up, it has actually dropped? According to a CNN story, the budget deficit for the 2013 financial year is expected to be 40% less compared to last year, and 55% less than in 2009. Obviously, this story isn’t getting enough attention, because Republicans would rather not acknowledge the fact that our annual deficits are decreasing, and Democrats prefer not to discuss the fact that this year’s deficit will still be larger than the entire GDP of Switzerland. Good thing I’m an Independent, so nothing stops me from suggesting 10 reasons why the deficit has dropped.
1) The falling deficit is a sign that the whole country is in decline.
2) Due to the sequester, the Congressional Budget Office staffers tasked with calculating the deficit have been laid off before they finished their calculations.
3) Someone must have turned the actual deficit graph upside down.
4) In the heat of the 2012 presidential race, Mitt Romney accidentally paid taxes on his full 2012 income.
5) Scrounging for change in the Oval Office couches unexpectedly brought in some serious cash. In retrospect, that shouldn’t have been so unexpected, considering how many wealthy donors visit the White House.
6) Unemployment benefits stopped for millions of people. So instead of taking the taxpayers’ money, the unemployed were forced to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, if only to cook and eat said bootstraps.
7) Government spending has gone so far out of control, that the government isn’t even able to increase it fast enough.
8) Since the United States is on the path to becoming another Greece, it’s only appropriate that the US deficit is should be on the path to become more like Greece’ deficit of $25 Billion.
9) As a sign of friendship with our Northern neighbor, this year’s budget deficit was nominated in Canadian dollars.
10) This is a sign of a huge scientific conspiracy like the global warming: the world’s mathematicians have conspired to successfully trick everyone into believing that 1.1 Trillion is actually bigger than 600 billion. If you don’t believe it’s a conspiracy, think about this: have you actually seen Pythagoras’ birth certificate?