10 Reactions To The Birth Of The Royal Baby

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge holding a newly minted Duke of Diapershire. (Photo source: ABC News)

Earlier this week, the Duchess of Cambridge (a.k.a. Kate Middleton) gave birth to a baby boy (a.k.a. the Royal Baby), and just yesterday, the happy royal parents finally came up with the name for the boy: George Alexander Louis.  The birth of the Royal Baby generated worldwide excitement and reactions ranging from “Awwww…” to “Zzzzzzz…”.  Here are 10 other reactions to the birth of the baby prince.

1)  National Security Agency: Since the birth of a potential King is a matter of national importance, we have been closely following the story from the very beginning. Our top security experts have spent countless hours studying the surveillance video footage of the baby’s conception.

2)  Duncan Larcombe, The Sun newspaper correspondent:  This baby is amazing!  Baby George may only be a few days old, but after spending 20 minutes with tabloid reporters, he is already able to say “No comment.”

3)  Terry O’Neill, president of the National Organization for Women:  It’s a sad sign for all the women worldwide, when even a rich and powerful woman like Duchess of Cambridge doesn’t have access to contraception.

4)  Prince William, Royal Baby’s father: Sorry it took us a while to decide on the name for the baby – this whole ordeal has caught us off guard. The thing is, we haven’t read the tabloids for years, so we didn’t even know that Kate was pregnant.

5)  Duchess of Cambridge, Royal Baby’s mother:  I’m really excited about becoming a mother, and I’m happy that Will and I have finally agreed on George Alexander Louis as the baby’s name.  Now we just need to decide on his middle name.

6)  Newt Gingrich, anti-welfare crusader:  This story is just one more outrageous example of an unemployed couple living off the taxpayers’ dime and plopping out another moocher baby!

7)  Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of North Korea:  All the positive publicity has inspired me and my wife to have a baby to improve the public image of North Korea. I have ordered the military to redirect all of the country’s resources into the national baby-making program.

8)  United Nations Security Council: We will impose sanctions on North Korea, unless the Kim Jong Un grants UN inspectors access to the country’s baby-making facilities and proves that North Korea’s baby-making program is intended for peaceful purposes.

9)  David Vienna, parenting expert:  According to my “Calm The F*** Down” parenting method, every parent should just Calm The F*** Down. And since you aren’t even the parent of the Royal Baby and yet still somehow excited about his birth – you definitely need to Calm. The. F***. Down!

10)  Elizabeth II, Queen of England:  Just bloody great, another bugger itching to sit on my throne…

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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67 Responses to 10 Reactions To The Birth Of The Royal Baby

  1. Oh, good, now I don’t have to bother looking up whether she’d finally had the royal bratticus and whether is was a mini-king or queen. I hate watching the news. Yours is much more entertaining (and about as accurate) than the actual news.

    Really, though – George? Wasn’t there a mad King George III – who was king when we won our independence, heyyyy I see where you are going here, England, nice try.

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  2. Vagina says:

    All 10 have me cracking up! Great Job!! You still are the Great and Powerful top ten guy. I know you think it’s Letterman,…but he could learn a thing or 2 from you…

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  3. Jennifer says:

    I’m definitely somewhere between aww and zzz. This was funny, well done.

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  4. 1jaded1 says:

    I’m with Alice. I had no clue that she popped him out. George Alexander as in Seinfeld…I can only say bwahahahaha…Karma is gonna kill me..oh well, gotta go somehow.

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    • List of X says:

      I can’t blame you for missing the story – with 300000 babies born every day, it’s really easy to miss the birth of another one.
      Oh yeah, I though George Alexander sounded familiar…

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  5. Ankur Mithal says:

    The pieces are beginning to fit. The tabloid caught clicking the princess in the buff in France was probably undercover NSA trying to do their job well.

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  6. Nadia says:

    Awesome list. I would have commented on the original name choice, but then I remembered I don’t really give a toss.

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    • List of X says:

      Thank you. The name choice of “George Alexander Louis” doesn’t sound particularly original, especially compared to celebrity baby names like Blanket, Jermajesty, Pilot Inspektor, or Sage Moonblood. Though “His Majesty Jermajesty” or “King Pilot Inspektor the First” do sound kind of cool.

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  7. bernasvibe says:

    I tell y’all one thing I’ve got to admit….Didn’t realize 9 months has passed that FAST..When I heard the news she’d had the baby? First thought…OMG did 9 months go by already??? Is it just me or is time flying by at turbo-net-speed? Just this week alone seems to have gone by in an instant..Maybe its what happens when one has hit the Fabulous 50 mark; am I losing track of time or is it really flying by so fast? hmmmmm..Anyways my blogging pal; you taking requests for 10lists yet? hmmmm When or if you ever ‘eva do; don’t forget about my hand raised up. I’ll be the first in line. Thanks for the colorful news report. Love it as always! No news like the Xlist news..

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I’m not forgetting about you. I’m still trying to make your suggestion into a post. Though I promised it to you, what, 4 months ago already? Boy, time sure does fly fast….

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      • bernasvibe says:

        Yes time does fly..I know you’ve not forgotten..Just wanted you to remember on your own; and you did! No worries I’ve grown to be a very patient woman..Lessons learned that good things come to those who wait 🙂

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        • List of X says:

          Berna, no need for you to be patient any longer – please check your e-mail 🙂

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          • bernasvibe says:

            Yay! Just read it & as I anticipated it was well worth the wait..I love IT..Many thank you’s for taking the time to create a tailor-made guest post for lil ole me..Later when I’m fully awake I’m going to dig up the pics to accompany the piece..Hope you enjoy seeing the selections..You rock!

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  8. Ape No. 1 says:

    I believe his full name is George Castanza Jason Alexander Elaine Benes Julia Louis-Dreyfus. George Alexander Louis is just the snappy shortened version the cool and hip royal parents hope his future friends will use in the school yard.

    #3 made me cough out some tea!

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  9. I hear the royal meconium is up for bid on e-bay.

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  10. Carrie Rubin says:

    This is great. Love the different perspectives, especially the blow-hole Newt’s and the queen’s herself.

    With as much attention as the baby was getting, you’d think he deposits gold in his diapers. Every time I turned on CNN, there he was…

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  11. twindaddy says:

    It’s reassuring to know that the NSA has been on this from the get-go.

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  12. You know number 6 is sort of true…

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  13. Sherry says:

    I took to my bed the moment I heard the name. George is awful. I shall be depressed for some major portion of a nanosecond for sure.

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  14. speaker7 says:

    With Will’s reaction, I’m surprised the royal birth wasn’t featured on TLC’s “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.”

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  15. Elyse says:

    I gave it the Royal Zzzzzzzzzzzz

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  16. Elyse says:

    I gave it the Royal Zzzzzzzzzzzz

    The birth; not the post!

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  17. This baby is so ugly that he even had to puke on himself.

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  18. rossmurray1 says:

    “Seinfeld” ruined the name “George,” even for royals.

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    • List of X says:

      I just watched the entire run of Arrested Development, where half of characters are named George, or pretend to be characters named George, so I no longer have Seinfeld association when I hear the name George.

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  19. I was at ZZZZZZ until I read this. #’s 6, 7 and 10 in that order had me

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    • List of X says:

      Zzzzz should be the normal reaction to the birth of any royal family member. That’s how we react when there is a birth in a royal family of Sweden, Monaco, or Saudi Arabia, and I don’t understand what makes British family so special – that we went to war against them?

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  20. sanscera says:

    Footage of the baby’s ‘conception’!!! WOW!! The NSA would be pretty excited about it (pun intended).

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    • List of X says:

      They were so excited with the footage, that they paid zero attention to the pale-looking guy in glasses carrying out laptoos with classified data out of the building.

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  21. Austin says:

    I’ve been having so much fun writing about the Royal Baby all week. Thanks for the laughs!

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    • List of X says:

      Your dedication to the Royal Baby story was hard to miss. I just hope that Maine’s witches, zombies, aliens and gargoyles can forgive you for abandoning them.

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      • Austin says:

        Oh, I’m still writing about them, too. I’m just getting so much across the MP Wire about the little prince, that I feel compelled to write about it. 😀

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  22. HoaiPhai says:

    I don’t want to chuck a jinx on things but if the Royal Couple ever splits up will the Duke refer to Kate as his “Baby Duchess” or just the commoner-style “Baby Momma”?

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  23. Bloody Hilarious….Tips Stein.
    xx
    Sooz

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  24. EagleAye says:

    Usually I have favorites, but this time I think ALL of them are my favorite. I will say I nearly shot soda through my nose at #1. Things got worse from there. Too freakin’ funny dude!

    Like

  25. I want to do a live webcast, but I can’t figure out how to do it on the Blogger platform. Can anyone give me some direction?. . Thanks!.

    Like

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