Former Congressman Anthony Weiner, who was forced to resign from Congress two years ago when he accidentally tweeted out a photo of his private parts, is now running for Mayor of New York. Unfortunately, his compulsive tweeting has not stopped, and Anthony Weiner has been caught in yet another steamy affair with a 140-character limit. Because Weiner has a tendency to tweet out a picture of his wiener, it’s only fair that his wiener gets its own Twitter account. And whether it was the summer heat that melted my brain and made me think that it’s a good idea, or maybe I need to get this out of my system in case I ever run for office, but I actually took the liberty of personally creating a Twitter account for Mr. Weiner’s most recognizable feature: @weinerzwiener. You may follow at your own risk. So, here are 10 of the best tweets* from the @Weiner’s Wiener’s account.
1) “All right, Mr. Weiner, I’m ready for my close-up.”
2) “People keep asking me, who makes the important decisions – me or Tony’s brain. Well, let’s just say, I’m the one who wears pants in this relationship.”
3) “Today I woke up, and I saw Tony’s wife holding scissors and looking at me all weird. Why? I don’t need a haircut.”
4) “That’s a lie that I do the thinking for Tony. I do the NOT thinking for him.”
5) “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! (a brief summary of Tony’s votes on Dem Party bills)”
6) “I’m all for women’s freedom of choice. It means I can choose any woman, right?”
7) “Have you ever seen up close a urinal in a men’s room at a truck stop? It’s just like politics in DC – it’s clogged, it stinks, and it’s mostly white.”
8) “Tony is not a pervert. He’s just a really nice man who does anything I ask him to do.”
9) “The newspapers say that Tony’s approval rating is negative. Negative’s good, right?”
10) “Thinking of creating a dating profile. Should I use Tony’s photo, or do you think it will freak people out?”
* Tweets have been formatted to fit a larger screen.
Feel free to suggest your own tweets, either in comments or via Twitter.