10 Best Tweets From Anthony Weiner’s Wiener

Anthony Weiner upon hearing the news of the @weinerzwiener Twitter account.  He expressed his outrage by accidentally tweeting another profile photo for the account.

Anthony Weiner upon hearing the news of the @weinerzwiener Twitter account. He expressed his outrage by accidentally tweeting another profile photo for the account.

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner, who was forced to resign from Congress two years ago when he accidentally tweeted out a photo of his private parts, is now running for Mayor of New York.  Unfortunately, his compulsive tweeting has not stopped, and Anthony Weiner has been caught in yet another steamy affair with a 140-character limit. Because Weiner has a tendency to tweet out a picture of his wiener, it’s only fair that his wiener gets its own Twitter account.  And whether it was the summer heat that melted my brain and made me think that it’s a good idea, or maybe I need to get this out of my system in case I ever run for office, but I actually took the liberty of personally creating a Twitter account for Mr. Weiner’s most recognizable feature: @weinerzwiener.  You may follow at your own risk.  So, here are 10 of the best tweets* from the @Weiner’s Wiener’s account.

1)  “All right, Mr. Weiner, I’m ready for my close-up.”

2)  “People keep asking me, who makes the important decisions – me or Tony’s brain. Well, let’s just say, I’m the one who wears pants in this relationship.”

3)  “Today I woke up, and I saw Tony’s wife holding scissors and looking at me all weird. Why? I don’t need a haircut.”

4)  “That’s a lie that I do the thinking for Tony. I do the NOT thinking for him.”

5)  “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! (a brief summary of Tony’s votes on Dem Party bills)”

6)  “I’m all for women’s freedom of choice. It means I can choose any woman, right?”

7)  “Have you ever seen up close a urinal in a men’s room at a truck stop? It’s just like politics in DC – it’s clogged, it stinks, and it’s mostly white.”

8)  “Tony is not a pervert. He’s just a really nice man who does anything I ask him to do.”

9)  “The newspapers say that Tony’s approval rating is negative. Negative’s good, right?”

10)  “Thinking of creating a dating profile. Should I use Tony’s photo, or do you think it will freak people out?”

* Tweets have been formatted to fit a larger screen.

Feel free to suggest your own tweets, either in comments or via Twitter.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
This entry was posted in Humor, List of 10, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to 10 Best Tweets From Anthony Weiner’s Wiener

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    I’ve never been on Twitter but I just might go and try to figure out how to use it (What’s the difference between @ and # ? What do they mean?). I’m not buying that the Weiner Jr. image was transmitted accidentally… you pretty much have to make an appointment to take a shot, select it, and send it to specified recipients.

    “Well, let’s just say, I’m the one who wears pants in this relationship.” Hilarious!

    Like

    • List of X says:

      With a smartphone, it’s really easy: you just take a picture, click Share button, and everyone sees it. Sometimes, I look at what my Facebook friends post and wish that the phones made it just a little harder.

      Like

      • HoaiPhai says:

        I consider my phone to be “borderline comatose”… it is internet capable but I never activated that feature. I figure even if I trip on lumpy carpeting which causes both my dockers and jockeys to plummet and the trauma of the whole thing causes my wrist to convulse pointing my cell-cam in the direction of my fuzzy bits and my fingers oblige by twitching that certain way to get the shot and to broadcast it, a portrait of Peter ain’t going to grace the webs. Maybe the courts should consider cutting wiener off, er, make that cutting Mr. Weiner’s phone off from Internet/e-mail access.

        Like

  2. Katie says:

    ”I’m all for women’s freedom of choice. It means I can choose any woman, right?”

    HA!

    Like

  3. bernasvibe says:

    @”7) ”Have you ever seen up close a urinal in a men’s room at a truck stop? It’s just like politics in DC – it’s clogged, it stinks, and it’s mostly white.”…>> For some reason this IS my fave (and just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t choose a fave on one of your lists..) I don’t speak out often on this topic; just haven’t had the time..But since we’re on it , heres my take on it..Personally? NOT that I’m into tweeting(never tried it..) nor am I into texting my body parts nor receiving pics of male body parts..Not saying that there is anything wrong with it either..Its just not my thing..Me? I admit I’m a very visual creature..However, for some reason I’m just not into viewing porn or naked pics..That doesn’t mean I don’t like reading erotica..*ahem* Anyways just didn’t want to come off sounding all high & mighty..As for Weiner? I don’t think what he did is all about the hype its gotten..SO WHAT? Most women KNOW a great deal of MEN dig porn..Period..IF that wasn’t factual? The porn industry wouldn’t be a mega-billion dollar industry..And for the record? I’ve never in my life seen so many strip clubs in one place; than in a certain city in Florida..OMG..So again anyways there have been politicians and men in powerful positions, since the beginning of time..who have gotten caught with their pants down..Literally. Having affairs is something that seems more a part of being a man in power; than not..Weiner? Ha! He got caught before he ever (or was he going to? ) did the actual dirty deed..I’m just saying…

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Yes, Weiner hasn’t done anything illegal (not as far as I know) – he didn’t lie under oath about it, he didn’t spent taxpayer money or election funds on his affair – so what he’s done should be between him and his wife. However, since it’s not the kind of behavior we should expect from elected politician, so if I personally have to choose between two nearly identical politicians, I’d choose the one who doesn’t send his wiener pics over Twitter.
      I’m not really into tweeting myself, even though I have 2 accounts now, @listofx to post one-liners (which is often an afterthought if I ever have time after reading every WP blog), and this one @weinerzwiener, which I’ll continue until I ran out of material. But I’m definitely not into tweeting about my private life and/or my private parts.

      Like

  4. ”Tony is not a pervert. He’s just a really nice man who does anything I ask him to do.”

    LMAOROF

    Poor Tony. Wife with sissors. Poor Poor Tony.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      And he’s very likely to get even poorer, when his wife files for divorce. (She said she forgave him, but this still doesn’t sound like a marriage that’s going to last long.)

      Like

  5. mhasegawa says:

    Now following @weinerzweiner!

    Like

  6. Carrie Rubin says:

    Ha! I thought you were kidding about the Twitter account, but then I pulled it up. Too funny. I’ll give it a better look-through when I get off my tiny phone and onto my laptop later. Sounds like a good use of my time. 😉

    Like

  7. speaker7 says:

    I hope weinerzwiener continues to plow ahead.

    Like

  8. You have to feel sorry for Weiner’s kid. Man, and you thought you had embarrassing parents! Yikes. Like, dude, it’s bad enough when teens do that kind of stupid stuff – their brains are fully formed yet. But supposedly yours is – not only that, you’re in freaking politics, which means people watch what you’re doing – just – I don’t even . . . is he purposely sabotaging himself? Or is his weiner really in control? Does it have a first name? Is it O-S-C-A-R?

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I think it may be a scientific fact that parts of male brain stop developing after age 12.
      But I think that when Anthony Weiner actually has to talk to his kid about sex, it might be easier for him than for other fathers. “Son (or daughter), it’s time we talk about the birds and the bees. Now, let me open my Twitter account so that you could view the training materials.”

      Like

  9. haha I’m so glad I follow this blog

    Like

  10. Jueseppi B. says:

    Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™.

    Like

  11. Michael Sadowski says:

    So you live in MA. Anywhere near Stephen King?

    Like

  12. pmahaney says:

    lol lol lol too much!

    Like

  13. pegoleg says:

    My deep and abiding apathy about Twitter is almost overcome by your creation of @weinerzweiner. It’s so wrong, it’s just so right.

    Like

  14. Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!

    Like

  15. oh… wow… wienerlicious!!!

    Like

  16. The Hook says:

    “I’ve seen too much. Some, anyone, please Kill me.”

    Like

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