Since his election in early 2013, Pope Francis has made quite a few controversial statements. For example, in his recent writings, Francis criticized the excesses of free market, the “idolatry of money”, and called for measures alleviating poverty and wealth inequality – all of which happens to be anathema to modern conservative gospel. And finally, some prominent conservative pundits, like Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin, (who apparently believe they have a guaranteed admission to Heaven), have found the courage to disagree with the Holy See’s heresy. Here are 10 Republican complaints about Pope Francis.
1) “Pope criticized the free market, and as we all know, Jesus was an early advocate of the free market. Don’t you remember the biblical story about Jesus driving money-changers out of the temple, so that their enterprise won’t be restricted by the temple’s walls?”
2) “Did you know that the Pope washed the feet of criminals? Can you believe it? What exactly is his idea of being tough on crime – not using soap???”
3) “Pope Francis is an illegal Latin-American immigrant, and probably stole his job from some hard-working American cardinal.”
4) “Pope Francis shouldn’t have said that trickle-down economics isn’t working when it clearly does. Just ask any billionaire!”
5) “Pope Francis has led the Catholic Church for several months already, and still hasn’t criticized Obama for the really important stuff, like Benghazi!”
6) “Pope Francis shows that the voter suppression laws just aren’t strong enough: see, even an electorate made up of older white males could elect a candidate who’ll turn out to be a socialist!”
7) “Francis once said that atheists could go to Heaven. Yes, eventually, Vatican retracted this glaring blunder – but for the couple of days until the error was corrected, a bunch of crafty atheists took this opportunity to die and get into Heaven, and right now they are probably suing St. Peter for displaying 10 Commandments on the Pearly Gates!”
8) “Where is Pope Francis’ birth certificate? Why hasn’t it been released? Because we have a reason to suspect that Pope Francis isn’t even his real name!”
9) “How dare he imply that we don’t care about the poor? Of course we care about the poor! Would we want to cut their food stamps if we didn’t?”
10) “Pope Francis claims he talks to God, while everyone knows that God only talks to Republican political candidates to tell them to run for whatever office they aspire to hold.”*
* However, it’s suspected that God tells Republican candidates like Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum to run for president, because he wants Democrats to win.