Facebook, Inc., the social company company that that brought us the famous social network, has decided to take care of their employees, and is building a Facebook-owned apartment building to house its employees. The housing will have 394 units, which is, incidentally, about the same as the average number of Facebook friends. If these Facebook apartments will be anything like our Facebook accounts, here are 10 things future tenants should expect from these apartments.
1) You’ll need log in and password to get into this apartment. If you forget your password, you’ll have to move out.
2) The peephole on the door will be installed in the opposite direction to give a better view of what’s going on inside your apartment.
3) Your children’s playroom will be programmed to fulfill 40% of your parental duties by taking photos of your playing child every 15 seconds and post it to Facebook with randomly generated captions like: “Awwww…”, “My baby is so cute!”, “Look at him/her!”, “Adorable!”.
4) If you leave for vacation, but haven’t posted your vacation pictures in a while, the house will automatically post the status “On vacation! House empty. Pics coming soon.”
5) Standard landlord’s response to your question when the plumbing is going to get fixed will be “It’s complicated”.
6) Once every few months, the management will upgrade the apartment, which could mean that one of your favorite rooms will disappear, or shower may be merged with your closet. This will be done to “enhance your renting experience”, and every time it will be a surprise.
7) The bedroom will automatically change your relationship status to match what’s you are doing inside it and with whom. It will change to “It’s complicated” when the landlord has to go inside for an inspection.
8) By default, all the outside walls will be made of glass. You’ll need to spend hours figuring out the privacy settings just to install blinds on your window.
9) Your kitchen will be stocked with Spam, and will post the photos of your food in every step of food preparation and consumption: in the refrigerator, on the stove, on the plate, and in the bathroom.
10) Your teenage children will not be happy that they share the same apartment with their uncool parents, and will keep trying to run away from home into hipper and trendier Tumblr and SnapChat apartments.
Automatically generated personal note: “On vacation. House empty. Responses to comments coming soon.”