Yesterday, during his visit to Europe, President Barack Obama met for the first time with Pope Francis in an hour-long meeting, which Fox News already called “The Socialist Summit”. Here is the summary of 10 of the things the two world leaders have talked about during their meeting.
1) The president presented the pope with vegetable seeds in a box made from a reclaimed wood from one of oldest American cathedrals, and explained that if it weren’t for budget cuts, he would have offered Vatican full-grown plants in a brand-new pot.
2) The pope thanked the president and presented him with a book he had written, to which Obama responded by promising to immediately appoint a Czar in charge of reading the Pope’s book.
3) Two leaders briefly talked about immigration reform, and Francis revealed that the main reason he became the Pope in Vatican was because he found it impossible to get an American visa.
4) Barack Obama has mentioned that his March Madness bracket is not doing so well (in fact, Fox News already dubbed it a “major policy failure from which Obama can never recover”). The pontiff replied that his March Madness bracket was perfect so far, and he fully expects God to crush his Final Four opponents Baal, Beelzebub, and Lucifer.
5) Obama and Francis have discussed a recent informal online referendum in which Venice voted to secede from Italy, and talked about how to prevent Russia from using this referendum as an excuse to annex Venice.
6) Both leaders shared their concerns about several prominent Republican politicians such as Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, who seem to be running for both the United States President’s and the Pope’s jobs at the same time.
7) The Pope praised Obama for helping give medical coverage to millions of uninsured Americans, but complained that it took him hours to navigate the healthcare exchange to buy health insurance for the Holy See. However, Pope Francis had objected to Affordable Care Act’s requirement to cover contraception, but added that the cardinals’ girlfriends can probably just get the coverage through their employers.
8) Both men have expressed concern that fewer people than ever are calling themselves Christian, and that even fewer of those calling themselves Christian actually act like one.
9) In the spirit of mutual friendship, Pope Francis happily obliged to Barack Obama’s request to renew his “I am not a Muslim” card.
10) In the end, to lighten the mood, the two men talked about their upcoming vacations, with the Pope excitedly telling how he would spend his vacation in his residence in Northern Italy, and Obama responding that he plans to spend his next vacation being criticized by conservatives for taking too many vacations.