10 Things Barack Obama And Pope Francis Talked About At Their First-Ever Meeting

President Barack Obama is unsure whether he should bow to the Pope and get criticized for apologizing for America, or not bow to the Pope and get criticized for disrespecting the Catholic Church. (Image source: USA Today)

President Barack Obama is unsure whether he should bow to the Pope and get criticized for apologizing for America, or not bow to the Pope and get criticized for disrespecting the Catholic Church. (Image source: USA Today)

Yesterday, during his visit to Europe, President Barack Obama met for the first time with Pope Francis in an hour-long meeting, which Fox News already called “The Socialist Summit”. Here is the summary of 10 of the things the two world leaders have talked about during their meeting.

1)  The president presented the pope with vegetable seeds in a box made from a reclaimed wood from one of oldest American cathedrals, and explained that if it weren’t for budget cuts, he would have offered Vatican full-grown plants in a brand-new pot.

2)  The pope thanked the president and presented him with a book he had written, to which Obama responded by promising to immediately appoint a Czar in charge of reading the Pope’s book.

3)  Two leaders briefly talked about immigration reform, and Francis revealed that the main reason he became the Pope in Vatican was because he found it impossible to get an American visa.

4)  Barack Obama has mentioned that his March Madness bracket is not doing so well (in fact, Fox News already dubbed it a “major policy failure from which Obama can never recover”). The pontiff replied that his March Madness bracket was perfect so far, and he fully expects God to crush his Final Four opponents Baal, Beelzebub, and Lucifer.

5)  Obama and Francis have discussed a recent informal online referendum in which Venice voted to secede from Italy, and talked about how to prevent Russia from using this referendum as an excuse to annex Venice.

6)  Both leaders shared their concerns about several prominent Republican politicians such as Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, who seem to be running for both the United States President’s and the Pope’s jobs at the same time.

7)  The Pope praised Obama for helping give medical coverage to millions of uninsured Americans, but complained that it took him hours to navigate the healthcare exchange to buy health insurance for the Holy See.  However, Pope Francis had objected to Affordable Care Act’s requirement to cover contraception, but added that the cardinals’ girlfriends can probably just get the coverage through their employers.

8)  Both men have expressed concern that fewer people than ever are calling themselves Christian, and that even fewer of those calling themselves Christian actually act like one.

9)  In the spirit of mutual friendship, Pope Francis happily obliged to Barack Obama’s request to renew his “I am not a Muslim” card.

10)  In the end, to lighten the mood, the two men talked about their upcoming vacations, with the Pope excitedly telling how he would spend his vacation in his residence in Northern Italy, and Obama responding that he plans to spend his next vacation being criticized by conservatives for taking too many vacations.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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100 Responses to 10 Things Barack Obama And Pope Francis Talked About At Their First-Ever Meeting

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Amen! Especially to #6!

    Like

  2. john zande says:

    #8 is spot on.

    Who’s the 4th team in #4?

    Like

  3. 1jaded1 says:

    This mass has ended. You may go in peace. Great list.

    Like

  4. Did Fox News really call it that!? That’s hysterical. Those guys never quit, do they? They sure know who their base is.

    I think The Pope must have picked Dayton. What other explanation can there be?

    If Christians were forced to followed the rules as put forth by the Vatican exactly as they are written, the pews would be empty.

    Like

  5. Pope Rick the First?! God help us!

    Like

  6. Elyse says:

    I hope they spent some time condemning Paul Ryan to hell.

    Like

  7. Trent Lewin says:

    Venice. Russia is coming for ya. True story. Poor Obama, I hope he gets enough time off to devise a strategy to contend with criticism of his time off… that sounds strangely like one of those infinite loops or underground particle colliders that might tear apart the universe. I can’t wait. Great one, X – glad to see you in top form, and making my Friday morning enjoyable.

    Like

  8. EagleAye says:

    Awesome. I think numbers 5 and 8 are my faves. I got some great laughs as always. 🙂

    Like

  9. aFrankAngle says:

    Thanks for keeping us informed because i didn’t get any of this from the big new sources.

    Like

  10. While renewing Obama’s “I Am Not a Muslim” card, the Pope was overheard saying, “How’d those Crusades work out for ya?” 😀

    Like

  11. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Very interesting information about this historic meeting!! Reblogging from List of X …..

    Like

  12. rossmurray1 says:

    This is great. #4 made me laugh but they’re all money, baby!

    Like

  13. Carrie Rubin says:

    I appreciate this inside view to their meeting. With CNN reporting nonstop ‘breaking news’ about the plane crash, everything else has fallen to the wayside…

    Like

  14. The Socialist Summit – ha. How dare the Pope be so brazen as to take advice from that Jesus guy! And now he and Obama – who wants to help the poor get healthcare coverage – have MET? The world shall surely end in a plague of frogs now.

    The part about Obama not knowing whether to bow or not and being screwed either way – spot on.

    Like

  15. Twindaddy says:

    “even fewer of those calling themselves Christian actually act like one.”

    YES! This!

    Like

  16. It is bizzare that the right in America would even consider the head of the Catholic Church to be anywhere close to socialist. And as many strides as the new boss has made the church has been, and will be, a paradigm that is directed from the top down. Jesus is the OC: Original Conservative. Great list.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Considering that Jesus was always feeding the poor and healing the sick without asking for payment or income verification, and telling rich people to give away all their money so they could follow him, Jesus was the original socialist. Pope Francis, who seems to be trying to replicate as much of that approach as possible, probably deserves to be called “socialist” just as much.
      It’s the Tea Party “starve the moochers!” brand of Christianity that’s not really in alignment with the original Christianity.

      Like

      • Good point. I was more refering to Jesus’ social policies. I do think this pope is breaking new ground but I wonder how long these changes will last considering the plethera of Catholics being recruited in the 3rd world, especially Africa, and these large pockets of Catholics are very conservative to say the least.

        Like

        • In Canada we really don’t have anything that comes close to the tea party. It is truly a marvel of evolution going backwards. Every time I see them on telivision or read about them I stare aghast with my jaw dropping to the floor.

          Like

        • List of X says:

          Conservatives are not all exactly alike. To count as one, you just have to pick a section of the Bible and follow it to the letter – so we have snake handlers, speaking in tongues, anti-abortionists, Westboro Baptist Church, et cetera. (That’s just the U.S.). And considering Jesus’ position on wealth, I see no conflict between being a conservative Christian and being against wealth inequality.

          Like

          • If I ever go off the deep end I think I’ll become a snake handler. If your going to go crazy then go all the way crazy. And the dancing looks fun. I once spent a week in Bethlehem Pennsylvania with a Fire Growth community of uber Catholics. They had crowds of people at every gathering rolling on the floor and speaking in tongues. I thought I landed on another planet.

            Like

  17. stephenpruis says:

    #9 and #10 were spot on. The only criticism I did not see is why our President is meeting with the leader of a religious organization. He no longer has the excuse that he is just sucking up to potential voters, but then maybe he is doing it in the hope it will trickle down to Senate and House democrats.

    Like

  18. Number 8 killed me… but I will rise from the dead.

    Like

  19. mcnorman says:

    He should have offered some marijuana seeds in that little case.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I don’t know if you heard, but a few days ago German police intercepted a shipment of cocaine addressed to Vatican, now Obama is bringing some unnamed seeds there… Makes you think, doesn’t it?

      Like

  20. Jackie Saulmon Ramirez says:

    I enjoyed this even if I have no ‘clever’ in my pocket to give back.

    Like

  21. samara says:

    Number 8! Number 8! Number 8!
    Okay, you get the idea.

    I’m so glad you were on TD’s blog today. You’re awesome!

    Now, where are those FPd’ posts?

    Like

  22. Out of the park, as you always do. I have to go with #8 though renewal of the “not a Muslim card” did come very close for me.

    Like

  23. El Guapo says:

    I think they should have used this opportunity to to do nothing but good deeds and tend to all the problems of the world, thereby causing all their enemies heads to explode from apoplexy.

    Like

  24. You never disappoint – Those socialist renegades.

    Like

  25. mollytopia says:

    I say it every time: omg I LOVE this post. This one may be my favorite. You are a hilarious genius, and I tweeted that very comment along with this post : ) You rock!

    Like

  26. Desire says:

    Thanks for a great read!

    Like

  27. pegoleg says:

    Thank you for this hard-hitting journalism. # 8 and 9 – two big thumbs up!

    Like

  28. Aussa Lorens says:

    You are my sole source for political commentary.
    The only thing I’ve ever heard about the pope/obama visit was from my dear Mother, who I am pretty sure was quoting Fox news and said something about “justice for America.”

    Like

  29. weroinnm says:

    Brainwashing in America: ‘WHY FEW DARE CALL IT CONSPIRACY”! (Part 1)
    http://teapartyorg.ning.com/profiles/blogs/brainwashing-in-america-why-few-dare-call-it-conspiracy
    “Food For Thought”
    Hello: When Are Americans Going To Wake Up-God Bless America!
    Semper Fi!
    Jake

    Like

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