“Hey, you, boy, can you write? Tremendous, get in now, I need more people to file lawsuits in Michigan. And take the lawnmower, I gotta shred some papers.”

The 2020 election took place two weeks ago, and… actually, it kind of is still in process: although all major media organizations have projected Joe Biden as the winner of the election and the next president, the current occupant of the Oval Office is claiming that massive voter fraud had robbed him of a victory he was owed. I mean, it is obviously inconceivable that a president who never got to even 50% approval rating and trailed in all polls could possibly lose an election amidst a worst pandemic plus a worst economic crisis in decades. So here are 10 reactions to how the election has been unfolding so far.

1)  Melania Trump, First Lady: “It sad that Donald presidency is end, but such is life and we must be best and move on. So I start look for younger and richer president now.”

2)  Vladimir Putin, President of Russia: “I am very disappointed in the results of the American election.  It turns out that our elite team of  hackers, due to a minor error in the computer code, had helped the wrong candidate. This is completely unacceptable, and the hackers responsible for such an unforgivable error will now be hacking trees in Northern Siberia or will be uploaded directly into the cloud.”

3)  Joe Biden, President-Elect:  “I hope Donald Trump will accept his loss and will give my upcoming administration a chance to have a successful transition. In return, I would be happy to give Donald Trump a chance to fly out to any country that does not have an extradition treaty with the US.”

4)  Donald Trump, President-Unelect: “I WON! VOTER FRAUD!!!! My people have tons of evidence of voter fraud, tremedous piles of evidence, it is unbelievable! We will release it right away, maybe even next week, right after my tax returns!!!”

5)  Jeff Zucker, CEO of CNN:  “I, ugh, got this weird unsigned note promising to pay me $130,000 if CNN keeps quiet about who won the 2020 election.”

6)  Mitch McConnell, Senate Majority leader: “So what we see here is that a candidate has won an election, but a sitting president is refusing to concede and give up the power. See, Biden isn’t president yet, and he’s already turning our country into Venezuela!”

7)  Stormy Daniels, former Acting First Lady: “As I had told Trump that time before, he shouldn’t really get that upset about this, it’s actually quite common for a man his age to lose an election.”

8)  Mike Pence, Vice President: “This is just not possible for Mr. President to have lost this election. After all, Donald Trump has singlehandedly created millions of jobs, and that’s just the lawyers demanding recounts, audits and delays!”

9)  Rudy Giuliani, star of Borat 2 movie: “We’re filing lawsuits, many lawsuits, lawsuits against the media,Wisconsin, Founding Fathers, Sharpie pens, the Post Office, math, voting machines, Four Seasons Total Landscaping, hair dye, and Hugo Chavez!!”

10)  Tampa Bay Rays: “Considering the circumstances, we now refuse to concede our team’s loss to the LA Dodgers in the 2020 World Series until all homeruns have been recounted and umpire calls have been certified.”