Note: The below was originally posted in my Facebook account on 8/30/2010 with Friends Only access and the post on the Rally to Restore Sanity was meant to be a complement to the post below.
This weekend, Glenn Beck held a rally for reclaiming the honor and returning to God. Actual number of people in attendance was estimated as anywhere between 1000 and 1000000 people, but the correct number is not known. However, some bits of statistics have been collected:
1) 112502 people thought it was a Beck beer promotional event. Of these, 67819 have not realized their mistake.
2) Fox News did not immediately cover the story, because 35 Fox News correspondents did not attend as they knew for a fact that it was not a Beck beer promotional event.
3) 3220 Census workers were hired to estimate the number of people attending the rally. If you have been at a rally, please be patient and you will be counted within 6 to 8 weeks. Yes, they know who you are and where you are now.
4) 350972 people thought it was a Beck concert. Of these, 29 showed up anyway. Of these, 27 were not disappointed.
5) 178 writers for the Jon Stewart show came in search of material. They came back with so much material they had to shut down the show for a week in order to process it, and also with 5172 job applications. 4621 of these applications were submitted by people assuming Jon Stewart is also a brand of beer.
6) 1 former governor showed up hoping to restore the honor to her teenage daughter.
7) When Glenn Beck said “look West”, 53583 people looked toward the East.
8 ) 14.1 tons of chalk was delivered for Glenn Beck but remained unused since he was told by the authorities he could not draw charts on the walls of Lincoln Memorial.
9) 12.7 pounds of chalk was used by Glenn Beck anyway because he is not the type to quietly obey everything that the corrupt government tells us to do. He only stopped after he had realized that the white chalk is not visible on the white walls.
10) 7 people returned to God due to hot weather and dehydration.