10 Reasons Why The New York Police Evicted the Occupy Wall Street Protesters

Last night, hundreds of New York police officers in riot gear entered Zucotti Park in Lower Manhattan where the Occupy Wall Street protesters had been camping for weeks, and forcefully evicted the protesters, injuring and arresting some of them in process.  The protesters have already received a court order allowing them to return, and are now back in the park.  Still, here are the reasons why NYPD decided to evict the Occupy Wall Street protesters from Zucotti Park.

occupy berlin

1)  City officials decided to show concern for health and safety of protesters by having the police beat up and arrest them.

2)  It turned out that the “We are the 99%” movement did not actually have that much popular support: a statistical research showed that the 99% of the 99% are not really concerned that the 1% own and earn much more than they do, because they are confident that very soon they will also become a part of the 1%.  The 98% of those 99% then proceeded to buy a lottery ticket.

3)  The top 1% of the city administration finally lost 99% of their patience.

4)  The NYPD wanted to provide the opportunity for the Occupy Wall Street movement to branch out into the “Occupy Prison” movement.  Occupy Prison!  Because just 1% of all people commit 40% of all the crimes!

5)  For two months, the protesters have not been able to agree on a single agenda, other than wanting to camp out for free in Manhattan.

6)  The city administration had been counting on the promised End Of Days, scheduled for October 21, 2011, to work out the protester problem, as well as many other city issues, such as crime and budget deficit.

7)  After weeks of standing still, the police officers decided that they needed some exercise, and it would be good for Occupiers too.   After all, what kind of movement is that if it does not move anywhere?

8)  According to the New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, the park is required to be open for passive recreation 24 hours a day.  However, in Mayor’s opinion, lying around in tents and sleeping bags just was not passive enough.

9)  NYPD simply organized a counter-protest to the Occupy Wall Street movement, called the Free Wall Street movement.

10)  The Wall Street complained to the United Nation about the oppressive occupation and illegal settlements in the Zucotti park which they consider historically their territory, and asked for a member-state status in the UN – and why not, since they own most of the USA anyway.

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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4 Responses to 10 Reasons Why The New York Police Evicted the Occupy Wall Street Protesters

  1. Pingback: REITERATING OCCUPY CHANGES « A Second Cup

  2. Pingback: Bloomberg Eviction Only Reinforces OWS Determination | Occupy Cyberspace – American Autumn


  4. Pingback: OCCUPY WALL STREET. Aren’t the Police part of the 99%? Dr. King: Nonviolence is the Most Powerful Weapon | WCN TRANSMEDIA GROUP

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