Mitt Romney promising you that he will create 12 million new jobs. Yes people, Mormon church does need that many missionaries. (Photo credit: Talk Radio News Service)
The 2012 presidential campaign is finally drawing to a close, and today is the last chance for Mitt Romney to make the case that he is qualified to be president. Unfortunately, Mitt Romney’s campaign had mostly been bogged down by the discussion of trivialities, such dog’s ride on a car roof, binders full of women, and war on Big Bird, and had not been able to fully highlight the big strategic differences between the candidates. (Of course, it would have helped a lot if Mitt Romney had actually proposed any detailed strategies). However, even those seemingly inconsequential stories about Mitt Romney provide valuable insight into Mitt Romney’s character and his qualifications for the presidency. Here are just 10 of the ways how Mitt Romney experiences have prepared him to lead the country.
1)Draft-Dodging: This experience had made Mitt Romney a better diplomat, because it had prepared Mitt Romney to actively seek out alternative options to the military involvement.
2)Building a car elevator in one of his mansions: This action has demonstrated Mitt Romney’s commitment to improving the environment by taking the gas guzzling cars off the roads.
3)Paying taxes at the effective rate of 13.9%: This experience had helped the Romney family to identify with the poor families by paying a taxes at the rates similar to what the families near the poverty level pay.
4) Running Bain Capital for at least three years after he had officially quit: This experience proves that Mitt Romney is not quitter.
5)Not releasing his tax records: The position of Mitt Romney’s campaign on not releasing tax records is a testament to the Governor’s commitment to protection of classified information and his firm determination to prevent data leaks.
6)Outsourcing American jobs to China: This experience had helped Mitt Romney relate to the average middle class Americans by firing a lot of them. Also, it had uniquely qualified Romney to get concessions from China, because China now owes an immense debt of gratitude to Mr. Romney for his efforts in employing millions of Chinese workers.
7)Mitt Romney’s comments about the 47%: This video had showcased Mitt Romney’s honesty and candor, which are rare qualities for any politician.
8)Driving his dog on the roof of his car: This incident is a clear evidence of Mitt Romney’s ability to think outside of the box.
9)Vulture capitalist experience. Because Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital bought successful businesses and successfully turned them around, Mitt Romney will be able to reverse Barack Obama’s failed socialist policies, and will turn them into successful socialist policies.
10)Flip-flopping on many important issues: Not only this behavior is a sign of Mitt Romney’s open-mindedness, but it would also make him a formidable Commander-in-Chief, because no country would want to mess with the USA knowing how easily President Romney could change his mind on whether to nuke them or not.
11) Running The State of Massachusetts: Because Mitt Romney had chosen not to focus our attention on that unfortunate part of his resume, it would not be fair to hold it against him.
On a personal note: I’m getting really sick of writing post after post about Governor Romney. Nearly a third of my recent posts have been about him. So if you are just as sick of reading them, might I suggest that you take ten minutes to nine hours (but hopefully closer to 5 minutes) today to vote for someone else? Thanks.
An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events.
(* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.)
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