10 Reactions To The “Insurance-Cancellation-Gate”

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As you may remember, Barack Obama also broke his promise to close the prison at the Guantanamo base. We should probably expect Republican outrage about Obama breaking this promise any day now. (Photo: telegraph.co.uk)

In the last few weeks the American media has been filled with stories of a terrible disaster. If you think I’m referring to the aftermath of typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines, you haven’t been following American media.  No, the real terrible disaster, according to the media, is once again Obamacare, or, more specifically, the notices of policy cancellations that the insurance companies have sent to thousands of their policyholders.  The insurance companies are blaming Affordable Care Act for these cancellations, because they can no longer offer policies that do not meet minimum standards of the ACA.  The fact that ACA insurance exchanges now allow these people to buy new policies which are often cheaper AND better means nothing, because Barack Obama once carelessly promised that “if you like your insurance, you can keep it”, and this sacred covenant has been broken.  Here are 10 reactions to the insurance cancellations debacle.

1)  Mitch McConnell, Republican leader:  “The president said that if we like our policy, we could keep it. And, we really, really like our policy of obstructing and undermining the president.”

2)  Deborah Cavallaro, Obamacare victim:  “This is an outrage!  My health insurance company just cancelled my $100 a month policy!  And I was very happy with that policy -because I never got sick while I had it!”

3)  Fox News:  “Obama LIED to the American people!!! How DARE he?!?! That’s OUR job!!!”

4)  Humana Health Insurance company:  “We just wanted to make one thing clear: when the President made that remark about keeping the policy, he was talking to us, not to you. If WE like your policy, WE will keep it.         (Disclaimer: We reserve the right to cancel your policy as soon as you, or any physician, or a hospital has requested reimbursement for any medical service performed for you, and the price of treatment exceeds the cost of 1 (one) Tylenol pill at the wholesale price. The policy cancellation, a.k.a., rescission, will be effective one day before you have received said medical service. All types of medical services are covered by this disclaimer. Your monthly premiums will not be refunded, and will be used to gold-plate the toilet in the bathroom of our chief executive officer. If you are unhappy with your service, you may voice your complaints to our automatic phone answering service until your condition improves, and which point we will be happy to reinstate your policy and accept additional premiums, subject to the part I of this disclaimer.)”

5)  Todd Sickman, still insured:  “Obama also said that I could keep my doctor if I like him. Well, I like my doctor, and today I got a letter from him saying that he’s retiring and won’t see patients any more. Shame on you, Obama, for breaking your promise!!!”

6)  Darrell Issa, top Republican Congressional investigator: “I demand the following answers from the Obama administration: who in the administration knew of the upcoming cancellations, when did they know, and why didn’t they bomb the insurance companies as soon as they had this information?”

7)  Barack Obama:  “I give you a solemn promise that I will not make any more promises I cannot keep.  And I also promise you that Healthcare.gov website will be fully fixed by November 30, when not only it will give you affordable health insurance, but will also make rainbows and unicorns.”

8)  Alford Tenninson, uninsured since 1982:  “I’ve always said that it’s better to have had insurance and lost, than never to have had at all…”

9)  CNN:  “It’s unacceptable for the president to mislead the people. We, American journalists, have always prided ourselves for holding Presidents to the highest integrity standards, as it’s been our tradition dating all the way back to 2009.”

10)  NRA (National Re-insurers Association):  “If substandard health insurance policies are outlawed, only outlaws will have substandard health insurance policies!  Only a good guy with health insurance can stop the bad guy with health insurance!  What? The other NRA has been making same exact arguments for years!”

Personal note: I apologize for the “Insurance-Cancellation-Gate”: this was a really lousy name for a scandal – but then this whole mess is a lousy excuse for a scandal anyway.

Personal note #2: Let’s not forget the actual disaster that happened in the Philippines, so please donate to the typhoon Haiyan victims if you can.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
This entry was posted in Humor, List of 10, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to 10 Reactions To The “Insurance-Cancellation-Gate”

  1. Laura says:

    That picture/caption is spot-on.

    #10.5: “You can have my substandard health insurance policy when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. Which should be pretty soon, actually, because I’ve just discovered I have a life-threatening illness and my lifetime maximum coverage limit is $200.”

    Like

    • List of X says:

      That sounds very accurate, too.
      By the way, I think that the people with private insurance who didn’t get a cancellation notice are the ones who should be concerned the most – apparently the insurance company calculated that these policies are the most profitable for them.

      Like

    • List of X says:

      Also, just wanted to say that I do miss your posts.

      Like

    • gesvol says:

      I wish there was some media requirement when reporting on somebody complaining about their cancelled policy that they must find and report a) what that cancelled policy actually covered and b) what standard(s) of the ACA did the policy fail to meet? This is particularly frustrating when its somebody talking about their ridiculously cheap health care “insurance”, because given most insurance companies ain’t charities, if it’s cheap, it can’t be covering much.

      Like

  2. Katie says:

    HA! Oddly, I just got an email at work yesterday about how proud the company was that they’re keeping all the same benefits, but with a slight (literally slight) increase. I’m glad I’ll be able to maintain my routine check-ups through 2014.

    Like

  3. Amaya says:

    Everyone at my work was worried their rates would go up this year, because Obama. Our rates actually went DOWN! No one thanked Obama.

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  4. Carrie Rubin says:

    Loved #8!

    I liked Amaya’s point in the comment above: we hear all the negative, but very little of the positive. I’m willing to bet many more people have benefited from the law than were hurt by it, but as always, the satisfied are less vocal. Or should I say, the dissatisfied are extremely loud?…

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I think it’s fair to say that most of us benefited from the law – most of us have or at some point will have a pre-existing condition, and now insurers can’t refuse to cover it. Just because most of us aren’t shopping for a policy at the moment doesn’t mean we don’t benefit.
      And if you remember, it was exactly the same with the gas prices: prices went up – “Obama’s fault!”, prices went down – (silence).

      Like

  5. Sherry says:

    I can barely stand this stuff any more. The lies are so blatant and so callous as to be absurd and immoral. The GOP has no answer, and frankly doesn’t intend to find one..It doesn’t care about the poor, simple as that.

    Like

  6. How is it you make me laugh and scare the crap out of me at the same time???

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  7. Elyse says:

    Tenninson was a man before his time in so many ways …

    Like

  8. draliman says:

    Come on, the disclaimer in #4 is ridiculous! Surely the CEO’s toilet seat is already gold-plated – your insurance dollars at work, people 🙂
    As always, your list made me smile!

    Like

  9. EagleAye says:

    Outstanding list X! I think numbers 1,2 and 4 are my faves. The *only* policy of the Republican party has been to oppose Obama, even when he accuses them of being obstructionist or contrarian.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      And with all the opposition to Obamacare, Republican party doesn’t even have its own plan (well, they did before Obama took it and called it ACA). Now their only plan is to let people buy insurance across state lines – as if an insurance company from the different state will never find out about your pre-existing condition.

      Like

  10. I think Insurance-Cancellation-Gate is a perfect name. Any time there is a scandal, I’m pretty sure you are required to either put a “gate” on the end of it or add “Obama” to the front of it. And what hurricane? It wasn’t in the US? Who cares – people are making the rich pay for health insurance no fairrrrr!

    Like

  11. Ryann says:

    Having read this I believed it was very enlightening. I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this informative article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!

    Like

  12. Fred Fingery says:

    Alford Tenninson has always been one of my favorites. Such a way with words!

    Like

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