Many of you probably remember the famous “Got Milk?” ads, featuring celebrities with a milk mustache. But this week, the milk producers have announced that they will end the “Got Milk” advertising campaign, since, apparently, this campaign hasn’t been working that well in recently, and less and less milk has been sold every year. In fact, milk’s market share has decreased so much that its picture has began appearing on the milk cartons. The industry is working on new slogans to improve milk’s image, and I’ve decided to help them in this difficult task. Here are 10 suggested advertising slogans for milk.
1) Milk! Just don’t think about where it came from!
2) The only beverage Justin Bieber isn’t drinking!
3) Recommended by 4 out of 5 Santas.
4) Milk! The cool white stuff that you don’t have to shovel!
5) Milk. Great for your health, because our cows’ feed contains 20% antibiotics!
6) Un-crunch your cereal!
7) Contains protein, calcium, and milk!
8) Buy our milk, or we will kill the cow!
9) Occupy milk! Drink the 1%!
10) Time to buy a new carton, because the one in your fridge is probably expired. (And no, we don’t know whether you’re supposed to recycle the empty carton or throw it out, either.)
Disclaimer: Cookies not included. For internal use only. Do not drink warm milk and operate heavy machinery. If wings made of milk start growing on your back, stop using the product and consult a physician immediately.
And since we’re on the subject of health, advertising, and helping others, might as well get serious for a minute… A fellow blogger, Merbear74 of Knocked Over By a Feather, has been suffering from fibromyalgia, and recently her condition had become so bad that she has been unable to work, and may lose her home to unpaid taxes. Go here for her full story and the information how to donate, or just spread the word, if you can.