10 New National Geographic Shows Under New Fox News Management

New logo of National Geographic

New logo of National Geographic

Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch, known as the owner of conservative TV channel Fox News, has just bought a 73% controlling stake in National Geographic. Due to the change of ownership to Fox, there will probably be a few minors changes with the National Geographic products, starting with a few brand new TV shows on the National Geographic Channel. Here are 10 of these new shows.

1)  African Wildlife: The program will talk about amazing and endangered African animals like lions, rhinos, elephants, giraffes, and will educate viewers about the habits and behavior of these majestic creatures, and the most exciting ways to hunt and kill them.

2)  Mythcrushers: This 100% original series will bust… I mean, crush, popular myths like global warming, vaccinations, and theory of gravity.

3)  The Birthplace Of A President: The viewers of these series will learn many fascinating facts about the birthplaces of American presidents and their early lives. The first episode will feature the current president Barack Hussein Obama and his birthplace of Kenya.

4)  Home Of The Brave: This series will talk about the modern American explorers – the American soldiers stationed on many overseas military bases. This show will feature one military base per episode and has already been picked up for 20 seasons with 40 episodes in each. The channel is currently in negotiations with the Pentagon about adding a few extra seasons.

5)  Land of The Free: America has long been the beacon of freedom for the entire world. This show will highlight the history of America bringing freedom to many backward countries all over the world over their pathetic and futile stubbornness.

6)  Nature’s Wrath: This show will spotlight natural catastrophes like tsunamis, earthquakes, and tornadoes, and will discuss the latest research into the question of which category of sinners God is punishing by each of these terrifying events.

7)  Doomsday Preppers: This show about the people getting ready to survive in the the post-apocalyptic world will remain in the channel line up, but will refocus on the most likely threats that promise to turn the world into a barren wasteland – real threats like Obamacare or higher taxes on capital gains.

8)  The New Ice Age: This investigative weekly program will dispel the myth of global warming by highlighting the dramatic drop of temperatures in the Arctic, and resulting rapid accumulation of ice and snow. The program will run from September to early February.

9)  Battleground U.S.: This historical series will fairly and balancely chronicle the U.S. Civil War and its battlefields, and highlight the courageous and valiant resistance of brave Southerners against the invasion of marauding hordes of Yankee aggressors.

10)  Earth On The Move: The viewers will learn about the movement of tectonic plates that had shaped the continents and oceans throughout the Earth’s history, all 6,000 years of it.

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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57 Responses to 10 New National Geographic Shows Under New Fox News Management

  1. Paul says:

    Bwahahaha! This is a classic post X – without a doubt the wry-est I’ve seen yet and hilarious. I like #5 – Land of the free. We Canadians are still chuckling over Palestine earning concessions from the US by running a democratic election – and electing Hamas, a terrorist group. Bwahahaha! Democracy at its best.
    \
    I honestly didn’t realize that Murdoch had bought controlling shares of National Geographic. Sheesh. Oh and number 9 (as an aside – don’t take this the wrong way but 9 comes between 8 and 10 -just a heads up) – we Canadians have noticed this distinct cooling in the North – in fact we have had a much better handle on it now that we can sail from the Atlantic to the Pacific through the North/.. A very nice side effect of cooling temperatures. Bwahaha! Make the cold so much easier to measure – you don’t have to get off your ship. to go from Greenland to Siberia.

    Well done X – a classic – it shall shine back on this day of publication as a milestone.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Thank you, Paul – I fixed the numbers, by the way, so that 9 is between 8 and 10 in accordance with the metric system rather than in the English unit system where 9 comes before 8. 🙂
      We should have known that democracy isn’t such a great way of electing best leaders at least since that time we democratically elected George W. Bush twice.
      As for Northern passage, if temperature rises enough, you might be able to sail through it year-round. And if temperature rises even more and enough ice melts, you might be able to sail from the Hudson Bay all the way through the Gulf of Mexico 🙂

      Like

      • Paul says:

        Imagine the temperature measuring we could do then and how much colder it would seem (as opposed to sitting in an warm office in Ottawa and reading a remote temperature display). It will feel much colder on the deck of a ship in the Northwest passage – proving Murdoch’s statement..

        Like

  2. Ankur Mithal says:

    Delightful prospect for longtime readers/viewers of NG. They can finally connect with the real world.

    Like

  3. Is there any truth to the rumor that NG’s infamous pics of topless tribal beauties will now be done “paparazzi style”?

    Like

  4. I am on my knees trying to wipe up the laughter that ensued from this one, of course I am weeping while doing this. Gawd, the worst is I don’t know how much of this is satire and how much is you stole the line up and are simply publishing it for your readers. Well another station gone to hell, another off my favorites list.

    Damn

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Sulposedly, this is satire. I didn’t even check if National Geographic Channel is a part of the deal. Of course, it doesn’t mean that this list won’t turn out to be 100% accurate in a few years.

      Like

  5. Glazed says:

    Thank God for Rupert Murdoch. Now I can stick my head in the sand and get all down to earth again.

    Like

  6. john zande says:

    I was hoping you’d turn your Red Pen of Justice to this. Brilliant.

    Like

  7. Amaya says:

    Funny, funny stuff! I wouldn’t be surprised if any of these ideas become reality, a la “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”

    Like

  8. aFrankAngle says:

    Very well done … and all are relevant and causing a chuckle. So good, tough to pick a fav.

    Like

  9. Carrie Rubin says:

    Ah yes, I can see it now. And each show will be peppered by ads of an oompa-loompa-faced Trump proselytizing about his unlimited talents, with a few political ads by the other candidates thrown in at irregular and infrequent intervals to remind us they’re in the ring too.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Oh man, Donald Trump could easily fill his own channel – shows like The Wall, where Trump tries to get Mexico pay for the wall, Trump Your Hair, with latest hair care tips from the Donald, Insult Of The Day, where hosts judge and score Trump’s insults, The Golden Haired Bachelor – where Trump finds, marries, and divorces another wife in every episode, and so on.

      Like

  10. You is done outdid yoself… this is the best ever… worth waiting for… these should all be in a book.

    Like

  11. jan says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised to see any of these shows – especially Doomsday Preppers – on Fox!

    Like

  12. EagleAye says:

    My god, I wish I could give you X likes for this one. There needs to be a “Love it” button. Every one of these is my favorite. I wonder if in #2 they’ll be showing us exactly why Earth is the center of the Universe, and why God made it that way.

    Like

  13. Elyse says:

    Oh shit. I’ve been out of it for a while. He didn’t really, did he? You’re making this up. Please.

    Like

  14. I hope they do an episode on how the dinosaurs roamed the earth 6,000 years ago.

    Accidentally read it as “…long been the bacon of freedom…” Yes, we are that, too. And damn proud of it.

    Like

  15. Jim Wheeler says:

    Outstanding, X. The new face of NG, as The Donald might put it, is going to make a huuuuge impact on its readers and viewers, all 9,999 of them! (Jay Leno proved on “street walking” that this is about how many people know anything at all about geography.) 😦

    Like

  16. rossmurray1 says:

    8 and 10 are surprisingly subtle for you. But I love them. If your 10 responses were children, they would be my favourite and the other 8 responses would be resentful and in therapy.

    Like

  17. El Guapo says:

    Pity. I was hoping he’d buy Food Network.
    Hours devoted to the manliness of Rocky Mountain Oysters…

    Like

  18. lol these are awesome!! So brilliantly funny! I kind of want to watch show number two. But you know, ironically.. also I’d totally download it for free so as not to support them.

    Like

  19. Gibber says:

    What no food channel?

    Like

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  21. pegoleg says:

    Finally, some programming I would like to watch!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. BunKaryudo says:

    Now this was hilarious, or rather, it would be if I weren’t so worried that something very like these ideas might be on the drawing board.

    Like

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