10 Reasons Why Donald Trump Would Be A Very, Very Good President

"I will make America great again even if I have to bankrupt it and make it terrible first!" Image source: BusinessInsider

“I will make America great again even if I first have to bankrupt it and make it awful!”
Image source: BusinessInsider

This week Democratic Party had its first primary debate, and a lot of attention has been given to the endless discussions whether Hillary Clinton won the debate, or whether Bernie Sanders did, or who exactly were those other three people on the debate stage. In fact, the mainstream media has been so distracted by the Democratic debate that it seems to have lost its focus and forgot what this election is really about – and what this election is really about is Donald Trump. At least, according to the opinion of Donald Trump, who is currently the only candidate in any party qualified to be president – again, according to the opinion of Donald Trump. So, here are 10 reasons why Donald Trump will be the best president ever.

1)  Donald Trump’s experience in hosting a reality show for 14 years gives Donald Trump a strong grasp of reality.

2)  Donald Trump has declared bankruptcy several times and emerged even richer each time. With 18 Trillion dollars in debt and barely any hope of ever paying all back, the country needs someone like Trump to wipe out the debt through bankruptcy, spin off a few under-performing states, and become even stronger.

3)  Donald Trump’s experience with Miss America pageant proves that he is able to make tough decisions and select the most qualified candidates to represent America on the international stage.

4)  Having married and divorced several foreign-born wives, Donald Trump had first-hand experienced the pain of hard-working Americans having to financially support immigrant moochers, which was only slightly mitigated by the prenuptial agreements.

5)  Donald Trump is a top-rate negotiator, who can and will negotiate with anyone – Iranians, terrorists, mafia. He may even break long-standing congressional policy on never negotiating with the Democrats.

6)  Donald Trump is very, very rich, and if the country ever ran into any financial trouble, he could easily spot the country a few hundred bucks.

7)  Donald Trump knows how to market real estate better than anyone, and can finally make the White House profitable.

8)  According to Donald Trump, Donald Trump “will be phenomenal to women”. Women to whom Donald Trump will be phenomenal will be rigorously selected for their looks and willingness to sign a nondisclosure agreement.

9)  Donald Trump will tell it like it is, which will save government agencies the trouble of maintaining and safeguarding any classified documents.

10)  Donald Trump is the best possible job creator and will create tens of millions on just his Inauguration day. Because who can possibly be better at creating jobs than a guy whose catchphrase is “You’re fired!”?

 

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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65 Responses to 10 Reasons Why Donald Trump Would Be A Very, Very Good President

  1. Paul says:

    Just can’t Trump this post…

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Elyse says:

    You know, this idea has trumped all others: “wipe out the debt through bankruptcy, spin off a few under-performing states” — can I please help choose the ones we weed out?

    Like

  3. john zande says:

    You have the gift

    Like

  4. Jim Wheeler says:

    Donald Trump promises that his ideas will, uh, trump those of anyone else’s. So, I just can’t wait to see what he proposes that will be bigger than Newt Gingrich’s plan to colonize the moon. Only in America.

    Like

  5. Carrie Rubin says:

    And, of course, because of his hair. That hair has congressional powers all on its own.

    Like

  6. Glazed says:

    He’s also very, very good at real estate. So instead of building a wall on our southern border, he may just buy Mexico, and of course, make the Mexicans pay for it.

    Like

  7. Vagina says:

    And all the children will be asking their parents if they can be Trump for Halloween!! You will see trick or treaters coming to your door with dead animals on their heads and butthole lips!! They won’t say trick or treat but instead they will say… “You’re ugly… and stupid…. and since God gave me a good brain… you need to give me ALL that candy right now because I’m smart!!” I bet Trump will be passing out tampons to all the trick or treaters that come to his door… Too Far??… 😉

    Like

  8. Well, you knew I was going to love this one… wait… can we really sell off a few underachieving states??? Because that might not be a bad thing…

    Like

  9. Sherry says:

    never thought I’d say this, but there are at least 3 GOP candidates that I would vote Trump over….ewwww, that makes my skin crawl…but Cruz, Huck, and Carson are even worse …

    Like

  10. Steve Ruis says:

    If Mr. Trump would have liquidated his wealth in the late 1970’s and had invested in index funds and just let it ride, he would have four times the wealth he has now. So, this level of ineptitude demands a government position and why not start at President? It isn’t as if there is a political Mail Room to start from.

    Like

  11. rossmurray1 says:

    I’m sold. How do I order one?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. goldfish says:

    Well, I was going to vote for Hills, but you just convinced me to vote for The Donald. It’s refreshing not having to care about real issues anymore. I just want to talk about hair.

    Like

  13. I can’t wait for the next debate. Don’t you love having him in the race? Seriously. I sure do! He keeps things light. I’ll be sad when he finally implodes. Then it’s back to boring issues and policies. Yuck. I think they should hold a separate debate: Trump v. Sanders. I smell ratings.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Oh, I love having him in the election. He’s entertaining, and he hurts the Republicans probably more than he helps. But I wouldn’t worry about being overwhelmed by the issues should he drop out, because the rest of the field isn’t really burdening themselves with the issues other than “More guns, God, and tax cuts; less gays, immigrants, and regulations”.

      Like

  14. LOL #2 offers truth. Number six is great, but I worry about the interest. And number ten is one of your very best, X. 😀

    Like

  15. Do you think he will have to show both his education records and the birth certificates of his children? Want to make certain you know, can’t have any ‘anchor’ babies running about in the White House.

    Like

  16. countingsheepstudio says:

    Makes perfect sense to me – you nailed it! Thanks for clearing that up in my mind 🙂

    Like

  17. pegoleg says:

    I came back to see why you hadn’t replied to my fantastically pithy comment about wanting more jokes about Hilary’s pantsuits, and I don’t see it anywhere. Was it removed for editorial purposes? Yet another victim of my cursed “smart” phone?

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I am pretty sure I did not remove any of your comments (and I never remove any non-spam comments in general). I went into my spam folder, and unless you were trying to sell me magnificently authentical Michael Kors bags to go with Hillary’s pantsuit, your comment wasn’t there, either. I don’t know if the fault lies with my blog, or WordPress, or your smartphone, or some secret hacker organization working for Hillary Clinton. All I know is that if you elect Donald Trump as president, your blog comments will never disappear again.

      Like

    • Paul says:

      I’ve had that happen so often recently pegoleg, that I have taken to copying my pithy comments and then rereading them after submission to make sure they registered. If not, then I resubmit and keep doing that until one sticks. 😀

      Like

      • pegoleg says:

        I’m almost positive it’s my stupid phone. Or my gigantic fingers trying to type something worthwhile on its tiny screen. That’s the only internet I have at home and I’m lost without my big computer keyboard.
        Although the secret Hilary Clinton hacker organization is a theory with definite merit.

        Like

  18. julie says:

    Alright. I’m sold. Trump has my vote. On to the next quandary!

    Thank you so very much X!!! You are ever-so-helpful!! 🙂

    Like

  19. mollytopia says:

    Love love love this post – hahaha!

    Like

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