For months, the media had been speculating on the question which prominent Republicans will announce their candidacy for the upcoming 2012 presidential elections, while every one of these prospective Republican candidates had kept their mouth shut on whether they actually plan to run or not. This is perfectly understandable, since the Republican party is the party of the highest standards and it is so difficult to meet all of these standard to qualify for nomination that even the most beloved fictional characters could not meet them all. So here are 10 of the fictional characters that could never become a Republican presidential nominee (besides Donald Trump).
1) Santa Claus: While he has consistent support from the sock and coal industry lobbies and has a unique ability to reach every potential voter in a single night, he is a personification of handouts, has no respect to privacy, and has a lackluster work ethic as he only works one day a year.
2) Robin Hood: Personally fought for smaller government by fighting and killing government forces, but an ardent proponent of wealth redistribution.
3) Little Mermaid: Has a less than excellent financial record, as her dwelling was known to be underwater.
4) Shrek: A powerful candidate but tainted by an association with Democratic party: should have never never hang out with that donkey. Also, way too green.
5) Aladdin: A Muslim??? Absolutely not!
6) Little Red Riding Hood: Would be endorsed by seniors, has excellent relationship to the NRA and hunters associations, and can convincingly speak of family values. However, the fact that she is wearing red cape and not an American flag pin clearly indicates that she is an America-hatin’ Communist.
7) Neytiri (of Avatar): Against the big business, supports the preservation of environment, had been seen having improper relationships with horses and other animals. And most of all, she is not white, not male and not Christian. Can it get any worse?
8) Bambi: Too young, too inexperienced, and a strong opponent of gun owners rights.
9) Jesus Christ: Has a comfortably high approval rating, but had supported regulation of the financial industry by driving the money changers from the temple.
10) Pinocchio: Due to his lie detector nose problem, he would be limited to arguing the party agenda only at the open air venues.
Please feel free to suggest your own flawed candidates.